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Great Advances in Technology: The Stirrup

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These days when we think of technology we think of complex machines. But those machines had to start somewhere, and evolved from early, simple forms to the current advanced models. Even before that, they grew from an idea: that humans can make life simpler by constructing devices that do some or all of the work.

Horses of course are animals rather than machines, but in their way they’re a powerful labor-saving device. The horse can carry a human or pull a human structure—wagon, chariot, plow—and increase the human’s strength, reach, and productivity by orders of magnitude. The horse had a huge effect on human wars and migrations, but one little modification in the equipment upped the ante even further.

The stirrup is taken pretty completely for granted. It’s standard equipment for most riders around the world. Not using it is a choice, usually because the rider wants to improve her balance and her overall skills. In movies it’s everywhere, including Greek and Roman costume dramas. In epic fantasy it’s default mode.

And yet this apparent no-brainer for the equestrian is quite a late invention. Anything that claims to be Greek or Roman which shows people riding with stirrups is nope, uh-huh, never happened. Greeks rode basically on saddle blankets. Romans developed saddles with wooden trees (which is the technical term for the underlying structure of the saddle), which allowed the rider an increased level of stability, but there were no supports for the feet.

Where and when the stirrup first appeared is a matter for debate, but it seems to have been invented in China around 500 BCE, and at first was a single loop of leather attached to the saddle as an aid for mounting. Riders up to this point had to spring onto the horse, which was and is rather an athletic feat especially in heavy robes or armor. One might use a servant, a block, or a convenient rock to haul oneself up, but getting from the ground to the horse was not a simple proposition.

It wasn’t long before enterprising equestrians thought to put a loop on the other side and use the two together for riding as well as for getting on. This innovation traveled slowly westward, arriving in Europe at the dawn of the Middle Ages. By that time the 0riginal strap had acquired an attachment that more nearly resembled what we think of as a stirrup, a frame of wood or metal to support the foot.

We know this happened sometime around the seventh century CE, and became more or less universal in the West somewhere in the eighth century. Charles Martel’s knights did not seem to have had the stirrup, and the early years of Charlemagne’s reign also appear to have been stirrupless, but by the time he was crowned Holy Roman Emperor in 800 CE, his knights were riding with the new (to Europe) invention.

What a stirrup does is stabilize the rider on the horse. Mounting is considerably less strenuous, of course, but the real payoff is what happens once the rider is in the saddle. The stirrup makes it much easier to balance; if the horse makes a sudden move, there’s something to catch the rider as he slides sideways. He’s still relying on muscle tone to stay in the middle, but now he’s got help.

Egyptian army in Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014)

This isn’t just a crutch for the inexperienced or inept rider. For the mounted warrior, it’s a huge asset. Archery from horseback becomes a less complicated proposition: with stirrups to stand in and provide stability, the archer can shoot with more accuracy, using a stronger bow. The sword fighter has a more solid base, and the lancer can carry a heavier weapon and strike with greater force—leading eventually to the full-on mounted knight and his long lance, not to mention the sport of jousting.

Stirrups revolutionized the art of war. Mounted forces could fight harder, longer, and stronger, and use bigger and deadlier weapons. Even for the rider simply using the horse as transport, the stirrup made the process less uncomfortable: it’s amazing how being able to stand in the stirrups can reduce the less mentionable effects of butt-in-saddle, and riding rougher gaits and jumping obstacles becomes notably less of a challenge.

With the addition of stirrups, saddles evolved as well. The stirrup itself is not particularly safe or stable if attached to a simple pad or blanket. The thing rolls, for one thing, and if the rider puts more weight on one side than on the other, she’s all too likely to hit the dirt—if her foot doesn’t get caught in the stirrup and cause her to be dragged.

For best results the stirrup needs to be attached to a solid structure, fitted to the horse’s back so that it stays in place regardless of what either horse or rider is doing. There are treeless saddles that achieve this feat, but most saddles are constructed on solid trees, which vary in size according to the shape of the horse’s back. There’s a whole industry devoted to this art and technology, and one of its reasons for being is the stirrup.

Somewhat ironically, now that we have this combination of technologies, riders make a point of learning to ride without them. The principle is that whatever you can do with a saddle and stirrups, you should be able to do at least moderately well without. That helps to develop better balance and steering skills, and minimize dependence on technology for staying on the horse.

But your Mongol horse archer and your medieval Western knight are definitely going to fight more effectively with the tech than without. Your workaday rider trying to get from here to there will appreciate the help with mounting and the stability once he’s on board—and even your lady riding aside, or sidesaddle as it’s called, makes use of stirrups to stabilize her seat, in addition to the structure of horns that supports what would have been her outside leg.

Sidesaddle is somewhat of a triumph of fashion and crusading morality over simple practicality. The aggressively modest medieval lady who wasn’t riding in a wagon or a horse litter (versus the practical lady who rode astride like anyone else) was most likely riding pillion—i.e., sitting sideways behind a gentleman or a servant riding astride.  Eventually ladies took the reins for themselves and rode aside in their own saddles, and did anything their male companions did—sitting sideways, supported by a feat of engineering that, if it failed, could damage the rider severely.

It’s no wonder women finally said enough of this, put on riding breeches, and went back to riding with a leg on each side. Riding sidesaddle is both elegant and challenging, and quite a bit more dangerous than riding astride. One has to give serious props to the ladies who rode this way as a matter of course (and fashion and modesty), and the ones who still do for the art and the pleasure of it.

Judith Tarr is a lifelong horse person. She supports her habit by writing works of fantasy and science fiction as well as historical novels, many of which have been published as ebooks by Book View Cafe. Her most recent short novel, Dragons in the Earth, features a herd of magical horses, and her space opera, Forgotten Suns, features both terrestrial horses and an alien horselike species (and space whales!). She lives near Tucson, Arizona with a herd of Lipizzans, a clowder of cats, and a blue-eyed dog.


Stranger Things Season 2 More Than Lives Up to Its Predecessor

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Is this season of Stranger Things as good as last season?

Yes and no. While there were a few things I found disappointing, overall I think this season is even better than last season, and if you liked last season, I think you’ll love most of the new episodes. The monsters are even scarier, the friendship between the kids gets even deeper, and the new characters add wonderful elements to the stew. Rather than feeling overstuffed, Hawkins seems like a much more real town than it did last time, which raises the stakes. Plus we get to see more of Eleven’s past, and delve a bit more into the shadowy secrets of Hawkins Power & Light, and yes, we get to go back to the Upside Down.

But first, I know what’s important to you, so let’s get down to brass tacks: Is Steve Harrington’s hair still magnificent?

Reader, it’s even better.

[Note: Spoilers ahead for the entirety of Stranger Things season 2.]

He even…but wait, that’s a slight spoiler. Come with me below the cut, won’t you?

HE TELLS YOU HOW TO GET THAT MAGNIFICENT STEVE HERRINGTON HAIR.

It’s great. It involves Fabergé and Farrah Spray, and he just hands this information out to Dustin, because not all heroes wear capes, but some of them wield bats with nails through them.

The Big Stuff

For my money, the character development this season was even better, and all of the acting was impeccable. Each of the characters get at least a few moments to shine, and the new ones more than hold their own. Sean Astin and Paul Reiser are both fantastic in roles that start out fairly simple, and grow in complexity as the series unfolds. There are also a few new kids: Sadie Sink plays Max, a new girl in Mike, Will, Dustin, and Lucas’ class, and she brings along her hair metal-loving older brother Billy, played by Dacre Montgomery. We also meet another subject from Hawkins Power & Light, a young woman named Kali, played by Linnea Berthelsen, who has a very different set of powers than our beloved Eleven’s.

And speaking of Eleven—I had some issues with how she was treated last season, but her arc in Season 2 is so good I’d like to watch an entire series just about that. She goes off on her own adventure, apart from the boys, and proves herself to be a compelling lead in her own right. (She also throws out at least one more perfect Halloween costume.)

The monsters are still scary, and the kids go back to the D&D well in an adorable way. Last year we got one terrifying demogorgon. This season we get an army of demogorgons, plus constant hints of a much larger, more terrifying beast looming over the town and once again threatening Will Byers in particular. We also get hints of an even bigger monster, whom I’m assuming will be part of the threat in Season Three, since I think it’s safe to say this show is getting a Season Three.

References

Include but are not limited to: Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Tremors, The Goonies, Beetlejuice, John Hughes’ oeuvre, Poltergeist, Under the Skin, IT, Near Dark, The Lost Boys, Mad Max/Road Warrior, cameos include Mr. Mom, Punky Brewster, Siouxie Sioux, Reagan/Bush, and several arcade hits, and music includes Devo, an anachronistic appearance by Oingo Boingo, Metallica and Megadeth, Cyndi Lauper, The Clash, Kenny Rogers, The Runaways, Bon Jovi, and a bunch more. 

A Couple of Things I Loved

  • JUSTICE FOR BARB. We didn’t get Force Ghost Barb like I hoped, but the show did focus on Nancy mourning her friend, dealt with her parents grief, and called out the way so many townsfolk were willing to dismiss her and move on.
  • Families! We got to meet all the kids’ families, and while Mike’s dad remains the checked-out Republican, we get to see Dustin’s adorable, supportive mom, Lucas’ loving parents and bratty sister, and Max’s nightmare of a stepdad. Plus Hopper tries to parent Eleven (this doesn’t quite work) and Joyce continues to be the best, if most frazzled and paranoid, mom ever. I mean, she sews Will a Ghostbusters costume during her shift at the crappy dollar store, come on.
  • Max’s family, in particular, was a great addition. After a few episodes of hints that Max is More Than She Seems, it turns out that her family is weird and secretive because her stepdad is abusive toward his son, who then takes it out on Max. Seeing an ugly family dynamic in the midst of a show full of families that tend to be more loving is actually a great shot of gritty realism—the human monsters are every bit as bad as the cosmic monsters, and standing up to them, as Max does, is every bit as heroic. The writers allow her stepbrother to be both a villain and a victim, in a perfectly calibrated couple of scenes where we seem him alpha male-ing all over Steve, menacing Max, and then being humiliated by his own horrible father. The show takes the time to reveal why he’s terrible, and note the trickle down abuse of the family, but it also doesn’t let him off the hook. He could treat Max better. The two of them could band together against his dad. Instead, he becomes both the worst character and the most tragic figure on the entire show.
  • Sean Astin as a heroic Radio Shack employee!
  • Sean Astin asking if an X marking a spot on a map means there’s a pirate treasure!
  • Nancy and Jonathan dipping out to be on The X-Files for an episode.
  • Kali! There was a moment when it seems like Kali plans to use Eleven’s power for her own vengeance, so I was so pleased that, instead, she truly was trying to mentor Eleven. The way the show took time the time for her to remind Eleven she wasn’t a prisoner, to tell her that mercy could be her choice, but never to step on someone else’s choice, the way she protected Eleven and the rest of her gang of misfits—it was such a great look at complex characters who could be seen as bad guys, but who are also three-dimensional, abused kids who are trying to create a life and family that works for them. (If they’re the stars of Season 3, sign me up.) Especially given that this is a show that hasn’t shown too much female friendship, the way Kali and Eleven immediately bond was fantastic. And the butterfly maybe made me tear up a little.
  • Lucas’ little sister! Specifically, the epic makeout session she orchestrates between He-Man and Barbie, and the fact that, when Lucas rescues He-Man, she simply has Barbie make out with a plush penguin. If she’s the star of Season 3, sign me up.

A Few Issues

So my one big (where’s the) beef with Stranger Things is something I touched on in my IT movie review. The Duffer Brothers are a decade too young to have experienced most of this first hand. They’re cherry-picking the references that they think are cool, when in actuality 1984 in small-town Indiana probably felt a lot more like the late ‘70s than like a Brave New Decade. This is a rural town—the people here would have satellite dishes rather than cable. The TVs we see are usually the rabbit-ear variety. That means that most of these people have access to four major channels and then some local/UHF ones. The radio stations would most likely be playing a mix of soft rock and country. Yet what we mostly hear is punk, New Wave, and hair metal. Now, Jonathan Byers, town misfit, loving The Clash and the Talking Heads? Obviously. The glorious nerd who runs the arcade playing Devo’s “Whip It” on a loop? Probably. But California New Wave outfit Oingo Boingo’s “Just Another Day”, from an album which wasn’t even released until the following year, and which itself was not released as a single until 1986, playing, apropos of nothing, on the soundtrack? It’s just a little too much spot-the-reference. When Nancy tells Jonathan that he’ll spend Halloween night listening to Talking Heads and reading Vonnegut, she’s right, but it also doesn’t sound like a conversation, it sound like they’re ticking off boxes. What is the point of all these references? Yes, certain people will get a nice little nostalgia hit for a second, but at a certain point they’re just falling into the trap of indicating personality through material goods. The show is at its best when its writers commit to developing its characters organically—which, to be fair, happens more and more as the season rolls along.

My other big issue? Again, we’re in rural Indiana. Speaking as someone who spent the first years of her life in somehow-even-more-rural Pennsylvania, one of the big things is the warring senses of isolation and claustrophobia. Everyone knows everyone in a small town. There is no hiding, no getting a fresh start. People remember your whole life. Hence, claustrophobia. Joyce is dating Bob now, who’s known her since high school, and watched her date Hopper, watched her horrible slow-motion flameout of a relationship with her ex-husband. He watched her elder son become a misfit, and her younger boy become a painfully shy nerd. He watched that boy go missing, watched the ex roar back into town, watched the ex leave again, and watched the family cohere again. He knows all of this when he begins dating her. Everyone does.

But there’s also no cellphones, probably not much cable yet, no college radio, obviously no internet. If you call a house and no one picks up, that’s kinda it. If they have an answering machine, you can leave a message. If the person doesn’t leave a message, you’ll have no idea why they called you until you talk to them next time. If a kid leaves a house, you have no idea where that kid is until they call or show up again. If you ask your friend to meet you somewhere, and they don’t show, you either have to wait, or leave without them. If a car breaks down and there’s no payphone nearby, you’re walking until you find a gas station or a friendly trucker picks you up. Your mail comes once a day, to a box. You have to go outside to collect it. There might be two newspapers a day? There is one local news program, and one national. They are at 6:00 and 6:30 respectively. If you miss them, you don’t know what happened that day.

It’s a world that many people reading this lived in, but it’s unimaginable now. The show could have leaned into this from the beginning, and emphasized the fact that the kids go out the door in the morning and have no contact with their parents until night. They might want to hang out on the weekends, but they have no way to get in touch with each other. But, the Duffers chose to work around this by arming the kids with walkie-talkies that have impossible ranges. This cheat annoyed the hell out of me, so I was really pleased that they dropped it halfway through and actually went with the isolation of life in that town. For me, that’s when the show kicked into gear.

Mike goes to Will’s house to see what’s going on, and basically disappears from his friends’ lives for at least two days. Lucas goes AWOL to tell Mad Max about all the group’s secrets, and since his little sister turns his walkie-talkie off, he and Dustin are cut off from each other for an entire episode. This leads to the serendipitous occurrence that Dustin and Steve Harrington just happen to bump into each other at the Wheelers, which is why Steve gets dragged back into monster-fighting. By cutting them off, not only does the show immediately become more realistic, but it also throws each of the kids back on their own resources. Lucas, who didn’t get much to do last season, gets to come to the front as the most thoughtful and sensitive of the boys. Dustin graduates from comic relief to co-monster fighter with Steve, but also retains enough of his sweetness that he trusts his bond with Dart, which ends up saving their asses in a very touching-80s-animal-movie type way. Steve isn’t the king of the school anymore, but he’s more mature, and shows every sign of being an upstanding lifetime resident of Hawkins who will almost certainly become the school football coach. Will, who we barely got to meet last season, is revealed as possibly the sweetest, most good-hearted 12-year-old that’s ever been put on screen, but Noah Schaap is so good that I believed it, and I understood that Joyce Byers could raise a kid like Jonathan and Will, and that we could see the outlines of their father’s damage on both of them. Weirdly it’s Mike who comes off not great. (And I say this with all due love for Finn Wolfhard, who was also perfect as Richie Tozier in IT.) Mike is just mean to Max, he’s rude to Lucas about the Ghostbusters costumes, he’s so fixated on Eleven that he lets his other relationships fade into the background. When they do finally meet I was of two minds: part of me was excited to see them reunited, but another part thought it was a bit creepy that a pair of children are this intense about each other. Which, if Season Three is all about their relationship, and how it’s both strengthened them and messed them up, I’m all in.

Steve & Dustin 4-EVA

Steve gives Dustin some titanically bad advice, which in turn leads to Max and Lucas getting closer. I was pleased that this seemed to be a direct response—Dustin missed his chance to get to know Max as a person because he’s trying to be a cool guy instead of a friend. But I absolutely love Steve as the big brother Dustin never had. The show did a nice job of using Steve as a mirror to both Jonathan and Billy, which I loved, because I’m excited that Steve got to have more depth than the rich cool kid we met at the beginning of last season.

That Ending Dance Sequence

I was a little frustrated by the perfect pairing up of the kids in the final dance. I always find this creepy—they’re barely pubescent, so why the mad rush to give everyone a heteronormative dance partner? Why can’t the kids just all dance together, as friends, rather than making sure there are kisses between Lucas and Max and Eleven and Mike? I did love Nancy dancing with Dustin, though.

Does Nancy Need Help?

What was up with the weird arc of Nancy’s blossoming alcohol problem? First she gets shit-faced on “pure fuel” and then shows up fresh as a damn daisy to school the next day, and then she downs vodka like it’s water while Jonathan and the much-older journalist both show the effects immediately. Actually, maybe it’s not a problem, now that I say it that way. Maybe the fact that Nancy’s mom’s veins flow with Zinfandel has given her a stronger tolerance?

The only moment that straight up pissed me off

Eleven bruising past Max, who’s proffered hand and attempt at friendship mirror’s Will and Mike’s meeting in kindergarten. I can accept the idea that Eleven is, emotionally, a toddler, and seeing Max talking to Mike was like seeing someone steal her woobie. But it’s also an abused girl rebuffing the attempted friendship of another abused girl, and it’s the show veering violently away from an opportunity to portray female friendship, as opposed to the complicated sisterhood, Eleven shares with Kali. Seeing Max get rejected over and over again, along with all of the simmering, terrifying scenes with her brother, felt like dispatches from a much darker, more realistic show about resentment in a lower-middle-class family. Like Roseanne without a laugh track, basically. I thought the arc was good, Max was great, and the complicated stuff with her brother and step-dad were perfect, but it was so tonally different from the rest of the show that I’m still trying to work out whether it was a feature or a bug for me. I think feature. I just wish we’d gotten a little more time with the family, so we could see a bit more of the brother’s depth. (Although I also loved the weird, cheesecakey near-seduction scene with Mrs. Wheeler.)

 

So there are my first, disorganized thoughts after binging Season 2. Now, how about you? Did you love this season? Do you think it built well on the last installment, or was this your last visit to Hawkins? And where do you want to see these characters go next?

Visit the Fantasy Worlds of L.E. Modesitt, Jr.

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L.E. Modesitt, Jr., is one of science fiction and fantasy’s bestselling and most prolific authors. Since signing his first contract with Tor in 1983, he has written over 60 novels, moving between science fiction and fantasy, 18-book epics and standalones. The fantasy worlds he dreams up tackle issues of balance between order and chaos, harmony with nature, and the sociopolitical ramifications of magic-users on society and culture. What’s more, each series features a different, detailed magical system and painstakingly constructed millennia-long timeline of its history. Modesitt also likes to jump back and forth by generations or even centuries within his series, strengthening the fibers of those fictional histories with new stories.

His latest novel, The Mongrel Mage, starts a new story arc in his long-running Saga of Recluce series—if you’re itching to learn more about the world of Recluce, or Modesitt’s other fantasy universes, read on!

 

The Saga of Recluce

The Magic of Recluce | The Towers of the Sunset | The Magic Engineer | The Order War | The Death of Chaos | Fall of Angels | The Chaos Balance | The White Order | Colors of Chaos | Magi’i of Cyador | Scion of Cyador | Wellspring of Chaos | Ordermaster | Natural Ordermage | Mage-Guard of Hamor | Arms-Commander | Cyador’s Heirs | Heritage of Cyador | Recluce Tales | The Mongrel Mage

The Magic of Recluce L.E. Modesitt Jr Saga of RecluceThe most important thing you need to know about Recluce—both the saga and the island—is that there is a neverending battle between chaos and order. In their natural state (a.k.a. Balance), these qualities make up all matter; but as white wizards unleash the entropy of chaos and black mages harness the structure of order, these forces become imbalanced. Modesitt’s intention was to subvert fantasy tropes by having the “good guys” wear black, though, as he points out, there is a lot more gray area to it—and not just the “grays” who can manipulate both chaos and order. Even as the first book, The Magic of Recluce, establishes Recluce’s tenets of uniformity and repetition in order to keep chaos at bay, such monotony—even with the safety it provides—bores protagonist Lerris. His lack of engagement with order gets Lerris sent away from home on the dangergeld, or ritualistic journey to learn more about the world before deciding if he will follow Recluce’s rules. But ennui aside, what we’ve learned from all of the dystopian fiction that has been released in the 25 years since the first Recluce book is that order can be just as dangerous as chaos.

While Lerris’ dangergeld is the focus of the first book, he is by no means the series’ protagonist; in fact, each of the characters in the 18 books to date get only one or two novels. In a recent piece for Tor’s Fantasy Firsts series, Modesitt challenged the notion that The Saga of Recluce is a series, considering that they neither follow one protagonist nor take place in “a single place or time”—instead spanning 2,000 years, and the rise and fall of empires worldwide in 20 countries on five continents. And even then, he adds, “the Recluce books aren’t really a ‘saga,’ either, because sagas are supposed to be tales of heroism following one individual or family. And that’s why I tend to think of the Recluce books as the history of a fantasy world.”

The internal chronological order is also vastly different from the publication order—if you’re going by timeline, the series starts with 2001’s Magi’i of Cyador and concludes with 1995’s The Death of Chaos. Modesitt says it’s the reader’s choice to read the books in either order, or neither, the only caveat being that one should read the first book of a certain character before going on to the second.

 

Spellsong Cycle

The Soprano Sorceress | The Spellsong War | Darksong Rising | The Shadow Sorcereress | Shadowsinger

many fantasy worlds of L.E. Modesitt The Soprano Sorcereress Spellsong CycleIn Ames, Iowa, Anna Meadows is fairly ordinary: middle-aged wife and mother, small-time opera singer and professor of music. But in the mystical land of Erde, song is the key to mastering ancient sorcery. As volatile as any other magic, a wrong note could mean disaster; but no one in the kingdom of Defalk is as skilled as Anna, who can sing the perfect note under even the most dire conditions. Not only must Anna learn her way around this unfamiliar world to which she has been transported, but she must also learn this magic while contending with the patriarchal society that wants to wipe out this fledgling sorceress.

In a 2012 interview with Far Beyond Reality, Modesitt described what is unique about his work, pointing to the Spellsong Cycle for a particular example:

In a phrase—the unobviousness of the obvious. My work almost always points out or shows by example something that underlies society or culture or science—something basic that has seldom, if ever, been noticed for what it is—that is so obvious that, once it is pointed out, critics and others way, “Oh… that’s so obvious.” […] The Spellsong Cycle explores the issue of power by making vocal music the heart of magic—and shows why something that is universal [singing] and should theoretically be a widespread source of power cannot be, because true singing is not what people think it is (nor is it as easy as anyone thinks, except for trained singers).

Hailed as a feminist fantasy series, the Spellsong Cycle presents an independent heroine unwilling to give up her freedom for marriage, who rises through Erde’s patriarchal society as first a head of state and eventually the most powerful sorceress on the continent. Even as The Shadow Sorcereress trades Anna’s perspective for that of Secca, her adopted daughter, Anna’s influence is keenly felt: Secca inherits her mother’s position as Sorceress Protector of Defalk and must grapple with many of the same personal and ethical dilemmas that Anna did, from marriage to misogynist sorcerers.

 

The Corean Chronicles

Legacies | Darknesses | Scepters | Alector’s Choice | Cadmian’s Choice | Soarer’s Choice | The Lord-Protector’s Daughter | Lady-Protector

L.E. Modesitt Jr. Legacies Corean ChroniclesLike The Saga of Recluce, The Corean Chronicles depicts the ongoing conflict between two different cultures and the fallout it has on their world. But instead of chaos and order, both Alectors and (some) humans possess Talent, a magic derived from life force. However, the series shares with the Recluce books the themes of finding harmony with nature and balance between different groups. The first trilogy takes place millennia after a devastating magical event that ended a golden age of prosperity and progress in the world of Corus. Instead, humans fight among other countries as well as with the Alectors (their human-like caretakers) to eke out survival. The second trilogy jumps back in time to provide a new perspective on the Alectors and a greater context for Corus’ history and fate.

In a 2010 interview, Modesitt summed up the magic system of The Corean Chronicles:

That’s a take-off on what one might call Earth magic. Basically it’s the Aegean concept of the world has a planetary life force and those who have talent can draw on it. But life force varies, obviously by the amount of life in a given area, etc., etc., etc. And you can draw on it too much. And basically you’ve got two races on this planet, one of whom has this tendency to exhaust all the life force on a planet by building great things and imbuing them with life force and literally leaving planets dry and hopping to another planet. […] And then there are the locals who are stuck there and who may be left with a dead planet on which it’s rather difficult to survive. And you’ve basically got the conflict between two cultures, and the locals don’t even know that that conflict exists for the most part.

Corus was the first of Modesitt’s fantasy worlds to include supernatural creatures: the strange animals created by the world’s magic, as well as the fairy-like Ancients, or Soarers. Both are dependent on Corus’ life-force-generated magic for energy. Though they are small in number and appear infrequently, the Ancients—Corus’ original inhabitants—interject themselves into the Alectors and humans’ matters when it is necessary to their survival. One of the humans to which they appear is Alucius, the protagonist of the first trilogy: Taken off his family’s Nightsheep farm and conscripted into the Militia, he is sold into the slave army of the immortal Matrial, who seeks to conquer Corus. But even as he is magically bound to the army, Alucius possesses a secret he was warned never to reveal: a strong Talent, and a compelling reason to use it.

 

The Imager Portfolio

Imager | Imager’s Challenge | Imager’s Intrigue | Scholar | Princeps | Imager’s Battalion | Antiagon Fire | Rex Regis | Madness in Solidar | Treachery’s Tools | Assassin’s Price

fantasy worlds of L.E. Modesitt Jr. Imager PortfolioWith The Imager Portfolio, Modesitt went “looking for a different kind of magic”: Drawing upon his attempts to be an artist in his youth, he came up with the idea of visualization magic, in which imagers pluck visuals from their imaginations and make them real. Merchant-turned-journeyman artist Rhennthyl’s training is derailed when his master patron is killed and he discovers that his true talent is as an imager—in fact, he’s one of only a few in the world of Terahnar who possesses the power. However, this realization is bittersweet, as Rhenn is forced to leave his family behind for the solitude of imager training: He is both feared and vulnerable, as imagers can accidentally conjure objects from even their dreams, and because he has enemies he doesn’t even know about who would keep him from attaining full proficiency. Not to mention that half of all imagers die before they reach adulthood.

The Imager Portfolio examines what kind of society would be supported and constrained by such powerful magic-users (Modesitt described it as “literally emerging into what I would call early Industrialism from something like a Renaissance culture”). The series examines economics and politics, and the philosophy behind them, a recurring theme in Modesitt’s work; in a 2011 interview, he said, “The use of economic and/or sociopolitical themes in fantasy and science fiction, to me, is one of the best reasons for reading the genre.” While Modesitt has considered writing a follow-up to the first Imager trilogy—potentially focusing on Rhenn’s daughter—he explained that that would have to wait until after he wraps up his current writing projects.

 

This article was originally published in December 2016, and appeared again in July 2017.

Rereading the Vorkosigan Saga: Memory, Chapters 13 and 14

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Rereading the Vorkosigan Saga Memory

Chapter 13 of Memory opens with a continuation of Gregor and Laisa’s romance. Miles has a great deal of assigned reading to do and Gregor and Laisa are having a courting picnic to introduce Laisa among the Emperor’s social circle. Their engagement is sort of an open secret at this point; those in attendance at the picnic certainly seem to be aware, those not in attendance are, perhaps, less well-informed.

The event also offers an occasion for Miles’s first conscious encounter with Lieutenant Vorberg. Vorberg is unlikely to ever hear Miles’s side of the story of what happened to his legs, but he gives Miles his. It is not flattering to the Dendarii. Miles tries to defend them. Oh Miles. How did you survive in covert ops? Miles’s assertion that he has heard some good things about those mercenaries who coincidentally happen to be named after some mountains he owns, but of course has no personal connection, is unconvincing.

Note: This reread has an index, which you can consult if you feel like exploring previous books and chapters. Spoilers are welcome in the comments if they are relevant to the discussion at hand. Non-spoiler comments should also be relevant to the discussion at hand. Like Earth, Barrayar and other places in the galactic nexus live out sets of cultural practices that range from beautiful to genocidal. Regardless of what may be commonplace as a cultural practice in any place at any time, comments that question the value and dignity of individuals, or that deny anyone’s right to exist, are emphatically NOT welcome. Please take note.

The picnic features people who eat food that Bujold does not trouble to describe. They are also wearing clothes, I presume, unless Barrayaran courting picnics are much more avant garde than I have been lead to believe. We don’t get to hear about those either. I’m a little dissatisfied with this courting picnic—no ponies, no kissing, just some polite Vor being politely ornamental while Gregor and Laisa pretend not to be engaged yet. It’s major redeeming feature is the return of Drou. Drou was last seen dancing with the Emperor at her own wedding (and having a discussion about weapons with her father and brothers). It’s been far too long. Cutting out Drou also meant avoiding mention of her daughters until just a few chapters ago—readers who started the series with The Warrior’s Apprentice might be forgiven for assuming that Elena Bothari was the only girl Miles had ever met. The opportunities and resources available to Barrayaran women have expanded considerably since Cordelia offered Drou a blue dot from the duty free shop. I’m glad to see Drou back, and I wish we got to see more.

Miles will spend part of this section sorting out his wardrobe. He wonders if it would be simpler to hire a valet and put him in charge of clothing purchases. Surely, picking out five shirts is simpler than finding the right person for this particular job. In this moment, I think what Miles really needs is to give up on the Kon Mari routine he’s doing on his closet and make an appointment with his tailor. That said, I’m not sure why Miles doesn’t eventually hire a valet. He wears a lot of uniforms and business clothes, and those take dry cleaning. Or whatever the Barrayaran equivalent of dry cleaning is. He seems to have properly laundered and pressed uniforms in several styles ready to wear at a moment’s notice. In a household with limited staff. I suppose this could be one of Martin’s jobs—this is science fiction. Even if Martin is managing the laundering of bespoke garments, a teenager can’t hold down the job forever. The upcoming wedding is a HUGE deal, and it’s going to require some careful wardrobe management. This is the type of work that Armsmen can do, but given the limited number of those a Vor family is permitted to have at one time, and the uses to which the Vorkosigan Armsmen are more usually put, it seems sensible to hire someone who is not sworn.

Miles is not getting a valet today, and he is also not buying shirts. Instead, he is taking a call from Illyan, who seems to be about to pitch the Dagoola rescue. Again. Bujold prepped us for this with a visit from Galeni, who was concerned about a series of incidents in which Illyan seemed disoriented with regards to time. Miles couldn’t act on Galeni’s statements as they seemed to add up to stress or absentmindedness. Instead, he took the opportunity to fill readers in on Illyan’s personal life. Or rather, his lack of one. Illyan commands ImpSec. He also lives at ImpSec. Visiting the Emperor to deliver intelligence reports must have been a welcome reprieve from ImpSec’s oppressive architecture.

The com call raises Galeni’s concerns to a much higher level. Miles passes the issue back to the chain of command by calling Haroche over at ImpSec and asking him to listen to the recording of the call. Miles’s efforts to follow up with Haroche and Gregor run afoul of people not answering their coms. Miles assumes they’re dealing with the crisis. Actually, they’re sitting on their hands until Illyan has a major breakdown during a staff meeting. This is your first clue that Haroche stinks. I respect the difficulty of relieving Illyan of command. However, I think Haroche could have checked in about Miles’s call and suggested that Illyan present himself for medical evaluation in private. I’m sure Haroche would like everyone involved to think that he did. This is a reread, so I’m also sure that Haroche did no such thing. I hope Haroche’s shirts are all too snug in the armscye.

In hindsight, all of Haroche’s moves, while apparently understandable choices for an ImpSec officer taking on the challenges of commanding a massive organization, are intended to make Illyan sicker. Haroche will further his general wretchedness by refusing to allow Miles to see Illyan in ImpSec’s clinic. Miles commits himself to getting reports from Gregor, and prepares to wait and see.

Ellen Cheeseman-Meyer teaches history and reads a lot.

Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson: Chapters 28-30

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Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson

Start reading Oathbringer, the new volume of Brandon Sanderson’s Stormlight Archive epic, right now. For free!

Tor.com is serializing the much-awaited third volume in the Stormlight Archive series every Tuesday until the novel’s November 14, 2017 release date.

Every installment is collected here in the Oathbringer index.

Need a refresher on the Stormlight Archive before beginning Oathbringer? Here’s a summary of what happened in Book 1: The Way of Kings and Book 2: Words of Radiance.

Spoiler warning: Comments will contain spoilers for previous Stormlight books, other works that take place in Sanderson’s cosmere (Elantris, Mistborn, Warbreaker, etc.), and the available chapters of Oathbringer, along with speculation regarding the chapters yet to come.

 

 

Chapter 28
Another Option

Finally, I will confess my humanity. I have been named a monster, and do not deny those claims. I am the monster that I fear we all can become.

—From Oathbringer, preface

 

The decision has been made,’” Teshav read, “ ‘to seal off this Oathgate until we can destroy it. We realize this is not the path you wished for us to take, Dalinar Kholin. Know that the Prime of Azir considers you fondly, and looks forward to the mutual benefit of trade agreements and new treaties between our nations.

“ ‘A magical portal into the very center of our city, however, presents too severe a danger. We will entertain no further pleas to open it, and suggest that you accept our sovereign will. Good day, Dalinar Kholin. May Yaezir bless and guide you.’ ”

Dalinar punched his fist into his palm as he stood in the small stone chamber. Teshav and her ward occupied the writing podium and seat beside it, while Navani had been pacing opposite Dalinar. King Taravangian sat in a chair by the wall, hunched forward with hands clasped, listening with a concerned expression.

That was it then. Azir was out.

Navani touched his arm. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s still Thaylenah,” Dalinar said. “Teshav, see if Queen Fen will speak with me today.”

“Yes, Brightlord.”

He had Jah Keved and Kharbranth from Taravangian, and New Natanan was responding positively. With Thaylenah, Dalinar could at least forge a unified Vorin coalition of all the Eastern states. That model might eventually persuade the nations of the west to join with them.

If anyone remained by then.

Dalinar started pacing again as Teshav contacted Thaylenah. He preferred little rooms like this one; the large chambers were a reminder of how enormous this place was. In a small room like this, you could pretend that you were in a cozy bunker somewhere.

Of course, even in a small chamber there were reminders that Urithiru wasn’t normal. The strata on the walls, like the folds of a fan. Or the holes that commonly showed up at the tops of rooms, right where the walls met the ceiling. The one in this room couldn’t help but remind him of Shallan’s report. Was something in there, watching them? Could a spren really be murdering people in the tower?

It was nearly enough to make him pull out of the place. But where would they go? Abandon the Oathgates? For now, he’d quadrupled patrols and sent Navani’s researchers searching for a possible explanation. At least until he could come up with a solution.

As Teshav wrote to Queen Fen, Dalinar stepped up to the wall, suddenly bothered by that hole. It was right by the ceiling, and too high for him to reach, even if he stood on a chair. Instead he breathed in Stormlight. The bridgemen had described using stones to climb walls, so Dalinar picked up a wooden chair and painted its back with shining light, using the palm of his left hand.

When he pressed the back of the chair against the wall, it stuck. Dalinar grunted, tentatively climbing up onto the seat of the chair, which hung in the air at about table height.

“Dalinar?” Navani asked.

“Might as well make use of the time,” he said, carefully balancing on the chair. He jumped, grabbing the edge of the hole by the ceiling, and pulled himself up to look down it.

It was three feet wide, and about one foot tall. It seemed endless, and he could feel a faint breeze coming out of it. Was that… scraping he heard? A moment later, a mink slunk into the main tunnel from a shadowed crossroad, carrying a dead rat in its mouth. The tubular little animal twitched its snout toward him, then carried its prize away.

“Air is circulating through those,” Navani said as he hopped down off the chair. “The method baffles us. Perhaps some fabrial we have yet to discover?”

Dalinar looked back up at the hole. Miles upon miles of even smaller tunnels threaded through the walls and ceilings of an already daunting system. And hiding in them somewhere, the thing that Shallan had drawn…

“She’s replied, Brightlord!” Teshav said.

“Excellent,” Dalinar said. “Your Majesty, our time is growing short. I’d like—”

“She’s still writing,” Teshav said. “Pardon, Brightlord. She says… um…”

“Just read it, Teshav,” Dalinar said. “I’m used to Fen by now.”

“ ‘Damnation, man. Are you ever going to leave me alone? I haven’t slept a full night in weeks. The Everstorm has hit us twice now; we’re barely keeping this city from falling apart.’ ”

“I understand, Your Majesty,” Dalinar said. “And am eager to send you the aid I promised. Please, let us make a pact. You’ve dodged my requests long enough.”

Nearby, the chair finally dropped from the wall and clattered to the floor. He prepared himself for another round of verbal sparring, of half promises and veiled meanings. Fen had been growing increasingly formal during their exchanges.

The spanreed wrote, then halted almost immediately. Teshav looked at him, grave.

“ ‘No,’ ” she read.

Your Majesty,” Dalinar said. “This is not a time to forge on alone! Please. I beg you. Listen to me!”

“ ‘You have to know by now,’” came the reply, “ ‘that this coalition is never going to happen. Kholin… I’m baffled, honestly. Your garnet-lit tongue and pleasant words make it seem like you really assume this will work.

“ ‘Surely you see. A queen would have to be either stupid or desperate to let an Alethi army into the very center of her city. I’ve been the former at times, and I might be approaching the latter, but… storms, Kholin. No. I’m not going to be the one who finally lets Thaylenah fall to you people. And on the off chance that you’re sincere, then I’m sorry.’ ”

It had an air of finality to it. Dalinar walked over to Teshav, looking at the inscrutable squiggles on the page that somehow made up the women’s script. “Can you think of anything?” he asked Navani as she sighed and settled down into a chair next to Teshav.

“No. Fen is stubborn, Dalinar.”

Dalinar glanced at Taravangian. Even he had assumed Dalinar’s purpose was conquest. And who wouldn’t, considering his history?

Maybe it would be different if I could speak to them in person, he thought. But without the Oathgates, that was virtually impossible.

“Thank her for her time,” Dalinar said. “And tell her my offer remains on the table.”

Teshav started writing, and Navani looked to him, noting what the scribe hadn’t—the tension in his voice.

“I’m fine,” he lied. “I just need time to think.”

He strode from the room before she could object, and his guards outside fell into step behind him. He wanted some fresh air; an open sky always seemed so inviting. His feet didn’t take him in that direction, however. He instead found himself roaming through the hallways.

What now?

Same as always, people ignored him unless he had a sword in his hand.

Storms, it was like they wanted him to come in swinging.

He stalked the halls for a good hour, getting nowhere. Eventually, Lyn the messenger found him. Panting, she said that Bridge Four needed him, but hadn’t explained why.

Dalinar followed her, Shallan’s sketch a heavy weight in his mind. Had they found another murder victim? Indeed, Lyn led him to the section where Sadeas had been killed.

His sense of foreboding increased. Lyn led him to a balcony, where the bridgemen Leyten and Peet met him. “Who was it?” he asked as he met them.

“Who…” Leyten frowned. “Oh! It’s not that, sir. It’s something else.

This way.”

Leyten led him down some steps onto the wide field outside the first level of the tower, where three more bridgemen waited near some rows of stone planters, probably for growing tubers.

“We noticed this by accident,” Leyten said as they walked among the planters. The hefty bridgeman had a jovial way about him, and talked to Dalinar—a highprince—as easily as he’d talk to friends at a tavern. “We’ve been running patrols on your orders, watching for anything strange. And… well, Peet noticed something strange.” He pointed up at the wall. “See that line?”

Dalinar squinted, picking out a gouge cut into the rock wall. What could score stone like that? It almost looked like…

He looked down at the planter boxes nearest them. And there, hidden between two of them, was a hilt protruding from the stone floor.

A Shardblade.

It was easy to miss, as the blade had sunk all the way down into the rock. Dalinar knelt beside it, then took a handkerchief from his pocket and used it to grab the hilt.

Even though he didn’t touch the Blade directly, he heard a very distant whine, like a scream in the back of someone’s throat. He steeled himself, then yanked the Blade out and set it across the empty planter.

The silvery Blade curved at the end almost like a fishhook. The weapon was even wider than most Shardblades, and near the hilt it rippled in wave-like patterns. He knew this sword, knew it intimately. He’d carried it for decades, since winning it at the Rift all those years ago.

Oathbringer.

He glanced upward. “The killer must have dropped it out that window. It clipped the stone on its way down, then landed here.”

“That’s what we figured, Brightlord,” Peet said.

Dalinar looked down at the sword. His sword.

No. Not mine at all.

He seized the sword, bracing himself for the screams. The cries of a dead spren. They weren’t the shrill, painful shrieks he’d heard when touching other Blades, but more of a whimper. The sound of a man backed into a corner, thoroughly beaten and facing something terrible, but too tired to keep screaming.

Dalinar steeled himself and carried the Blade—a familiar weight—with the flat side against his shoulder. He walked toward a different entrance back into the tower city, followed by his guards, the scout, and the five bridgemen.

You promised to carry no dead Blade, the Stormfather thundered in his head.

“Calm yourself,” Dalinar whispered. “I’m not going to bond it.”

The Stormfather rumbled, low and dangerous.

“This one doesn’t scream as loudly as others. Why?”

It remembers your oath, the Stormfather sent. It remembers the day you won it, and better the day you gave it up. It hates you—but less than it hates others.

Dalinar passed a group of Hatham’s farmers who had been trying, without success, to get some lavis polyps started. He drew more than a few looks; even at a tower populated by soldiers, highprinces, and Radiants, someone carrying a Shardblade in the open was an unusual sight.

“Could it be rescued?” Dalinar whispered as they entered the tower and climbed a stairway. “Could we save the spren who made this Blade?”

I know of no way, the Stormfather said. It is dead, as is the man who broke his oath to kill it.

Back to the Lost Radiants and the Recreance—that fateful day when the knights had broken their oaths, abandoned their Shards, and walked away. Dalinar had witnessed that in a vision, though he still had no idea what had caused it.

Why? What had made them do something so drastic?

He eventually arrived at the Sadeas section of the tower, and though guards in forest green and white controlled access, they couldn’t deny a highprince—particularly not Dalinar. Runners dashed before him to carry word. Dalinar followed them, using their path to judge if he was going in the right direction. He was; she was apparently in her rooms. He stopped at the nice wooden door, and gave Ialai the courtesy of knocking.

One of the runners he had chased here opened the door, still panting. Brightness Sadeas sat in a throne set in the center of the room. Amaram stood at her shoulder.

“Dalinar,” Ialai said, nodding her head to him like a queen greeting a subject.

Dalinar heaved the Shardblade off his shoulder and set it carefully on the floor. Not as dramatic as spearing it through the stones, but now that he could hear the weapon’s screams, he felt like treating it with reverence.

He turned to go.

“Brightlord?” Ialai said, standing up. “What is this in exchange for?”

“No exchange,” Dalinar said, turning back. “That is rightfully yours. My guards found it today; the killer threw it out a window.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“I didn’t kill him, Ialai,” Dalinar said wearily.

“I realize that. You don’t have the bite left in you to do something like that.”

He ignored the gibe, looking to Amaram. The tall, distinguished man met his gaze.

“I will see you in judgment someday, Amaram,” Dalinar said. “Once this is done.”

“As I said you could.”

“I wish that I could trust your word.”

“I stand by what I was forced to do, Brightlord,” Amaram said, stepping forward. “The arrival of the Voidbringers only proves I was in the right. We need practiced Shardbearers. The stories of darkeyes gaining Blades are charming, but do you really think we have time for nursery tales now, instead of practical reality?”

“You murdered defenseless men,” Dalinar said through gritted teeth. “Men who had saved your life.”

Amaram stooped, lifting Oathbringer. “And what of the hundreds, even thousands, your wars killed?”

They locked gazes.

“I respect you greatly, Brightlord,” Amaram said. “Your life has been one of grand accomplishment, and you have spent it seeking the good of Alethkar. But you—and take this with the respect I intend—are a hypocrite.

“You stand where you do because of a brutal determination to do what had to be done. It is because of that trail of corpses that you have the luxury to uphold some lofty, nebulous code. Well, it might make you feel better about your past, but morality is not a thing you can simply doff to put on the helm of battle, then put back on when you’re done with the slaughter.”

He nodded his head in esteem, as if he hadn’t just rammed a sword through Dalinar’s gut.

Dalinar spun and left Amaram holding Oathbringer. Dalinar’s stride down the corridors was so quick that his entourage had to scramble to keep up.

He finally found his rooms. “Leave me,” he said to his guards and the bridgemen.

They hesitated, storm them. He turned, ready to lash out, but calmed himself. “I don’t intend to stray in the tower alone. I will obey my own laws. Go.”

They reluctantly retreated, leaving his door unguarded. He passed into his outer common room, where he’d ordered most of the furniture to be placed. Navani’s heating fabrial glowed in a corner, near a small rug and several chairs. They finally had enough Stormlight to power it.

Drawn by the warmth, Dalinar walked up to the fabrial. He was surprised to find Taravangian sitting in one of the chairs, staring into the depths of the shining ruby that radiated heat into the room. Well, Dalinar had invited the king to use this common room when he wished.

Dalinar wanted nothing but to be alone, and he toyed with leaving. He wasn’t sure that Taravangian had noticed him. But that warmth was so welcoming. There were few fires in the tower, and even with the walls to block wind, you always felt chilled.

He settled into the other chair and let out a deep sigh. Taravangian didn’t address him, bless the man. Together they sat by that not-fire, staring into the depths of the gem.

Storms, how he had failed today. There would be no coalition. He couldn’t even keep the Alethi highprinces in line.

“Not quite like sitting by a hearth, is it?” Taravangian finally said, his voice soft.

“No,” Dalinar agreed. “I miss the popping of the logs, the dancing of flamespren.”

“It does have its own charm though. Subtle. You can see the Stormlight moving inside.”

“Our own little storm,” Dalinar said. “Captured, contained, and channeled.”

Taravangian smiled, eyes lit by the ruby’s Stormlight. “Dalinar Kholin… do you mind me asking you something? How do you know what is right?”

“A lofty question, Your Majesty.”

“Please, just Taravangian.”

Dalinar nodded.

“You have denied the Almighty,” Taravangian said.

“I—”

“No, no. I am not decrying you as a heretic. I do not care, Dalinar. I’ve questioned the existence of deity myself.”

“I feel there must be a God,” Dalinar said softly. “My mind and soul rebel at the alternative.”

“Is it not our duty, as kings, to ask questions that make the minds and souls of other men cringe?”

“Perhaps,” Dalinar said. He studied Taravangian. The king seemed so contemplative.

Yes, there still is some of the old Taravangian in there, Dalinar thought. We have misjudged him. He might be slow, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think.

“I have felt warmth,” Dalinar said, “coming from a place beyond. A light I can almost see. If there is a God, it was not the Almighty, the one who called himself Honor. He was a creature. Powerful, but still merely a creature.”

“Then how do you know what is right? What guides you?”

Dalinar leaned forward. He thought he could see something larger within the ruby’s light. Something that moved like a fish in a bowl.

Warmth continued to bathe him. Light.

“ ‘On my sixtieth day,’” Dalinar whispered, “ ‘I passed a town whose name shall remain unspoken. Though still in lands that named me king, I was far enough from my home to go unrecognized. Not even those men who handled my face daily—in the form of my seal imprinted upon their letters of authority—would have known this humble traveler as their king.’ ”

Taravangian looked to him, confused.

“It’s a quote from a book,” Dalinar said. “A king long ago took a journey. His destination was this very city. Urithiru.”

“Ah…” Taravangian said. “The Way of Kings, is it? Adrotagia has mentioned that book.”

“Yes,” Dalinar said. “ ‘In this town, I found men bedeviled. There had been a murder. A hogman, tasked in protecting the landlord’s beasts, had been assaulted. He lived long enough, only, to whisper that three of the other hogmen had gathered together and done the crime.

“ ‘I arrived as questions were being raised, and men interrogated. You see, there were four other hogmen in the landlord’s employ. Three of them had been responsible for the assault, and likely would have escaped suspicion had they finished their grim job. Each of the four loudly proclaimed that he was the one who had not been part of the cabal. No amount of interrogation determined the truth.’ ”

Dalinar fell silent.

“What happened?” Taravangian asked.

“He doesn’t say at first,” Dalinar replied. “Throughout his book, he raises the question again and again. Three of those men were violent threats, guilty of premeditated murder. One was innocent. What do you do?”

“Hang all four,” Taravangian whispered.

Dalinar—surprised to hear such bloodthirst from the other man— turned. Taravangian looked sorrowful, not bloodthirsty at all.

“The landlord’s job,” Taravangian said, “is to prevent further murders. I doubt that what the book records actually happened. It is too neat, too simple a parable. Our lives are far messier. But assuming the story did occur as claimed, and there was absolutely no way of determining who was guilty… you have to hang all four. Don’t you?”

“What of the innocent man?”

“One innocent dead, but three murderers stopped. Is it not the best good that can be done, and the best way to protect your people?” Taravangian rubbed his forehead. “Stormfather. I sound like a madman, don’t I? But is it not a particular madness to be charged with such decisions? It’s difficult to address such questions without revealing our own hypocrisy.”

Hypocrite, Amaram accused Dalinar in his mind.

He and Gavilar hadn’t used pretty justifications when they’d gone to war. They’d done as men did: they’d conquered. Only later had Gavilar started to seek validation for their actions.

“Why not let them all go?” Dalinar said. “If you can’t prove who is guilty—if you can’t be sure—I think you should let them go.”

“Yes… one innocent in four is too many for you. That makes sense too.”

“No, any innocent is too many.”

“You say that,” Taravangian said. “Many people do, but our laws will claim innocent men—for all judges are flawed, as is our knowledge. Eventually, you will execute someone who does not deserve it. This is the burden society must carry in exchange for order.”

“I hate that,” Dalinar said softly.

“Yes… I do too. But it’s not a matter of morality, is it? It’s a matter of thresholds. How many guilty may be punished before you’d accept one innocent casualty? A thousand? Ten thousand? A hundred? When you consider, all calculations are meaningless except one. Has more good been done than evil? If so, then the law has done its job. And so… I must hang all four men.” He paused. “And I would weep, every night, for having done it.”

Damnation. Again, Dalinar reassessed his impression of Taravangian. The king was soft-spoken, but not slow. He was simply a man who liked to consider a great long time before committing.

“Nohadon eventually wrote,” Dalinar said, “that the landlord took a modest approach. He imprisoned all four. Though the punishment should have been death, he mixed together the guilt and innocence, and determined that the average guilt of the four should deserve only prison.”

“He was unwilling to commit,” Taravangian said. “He wasn’t seeking justice, but to assuage his own conscience.”

“What he did was, nevertheless, another option.”

“Does your king ever say what he would have done?” Taravangian asked. “The one who wrote the book?”

“He said the only course was to let the Almighty guide, and let each instance be judged differently, depending on circumstances.”

“So he too was unwilling to commit,” Taravangian said. “I would have expected more.”

“His book was about his journey,” Dalinar said. “And his questions. I think this was one he never fully answered for himself. I wish he had.”

They sat by the not-fire for a time before Taravangian eventually stood and rested his hand on Dalinar’s shoulder. “I understand,” he said softly, then left.

He was a good man, the Stormfather said.

“Nohadon?” Dalinar said.

Yes.

Feeling stiff, Dalinar rose from his seat and made his way through his rooms. He didn’t stop at the bedroom, though the hour was growing late, and instead made his way onto his balcony. To look out over the clouds.

Taravangian is wrong, the Stormfather said. You are not a hypocrite, Son of Honor.

“I am,” Dalinar said softly. “But sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a person who is in the process of changing.”

The Stormfather rumbled. He didn’t like the idea of change.

Do I go to war with the other kingdoms, Dalinar thought, and maybe save the world? Or do I sit here and pretend that I can do all this on my own?

“Do you have any more visions of Nohadon?” Dalinar asked the Stormfather, hopeful.

I have shown you all that was created for you to see, the Stormfather said. I can show no more.

“Then I should like to rewatch the vision where I met Nohadon,” Dalinar said. “Though let me go fetch Navani before you begin. I want her to record what I say.”

Would you rather I show the vision to her as well? the Stormfather asked. She could record it herself that way.

Dalinar froze. “You can show the visions to others?”

I was given this leave: to choose those who would best be served by the visions. He paused, then grudgingly continued. To choose a Bondsmith.

No, he did not like the idea of being bonded, but it was part of what he’d been commanded to do.

Dalinar barely considered that thought.

The Stormfather could show the visions to others.

“Anyone?” Dalinar said. “You can show them to anyone?”

During a storm, I can approach anyone I choose, the Stormfather said. But you do not have to be in a storm, so you can join a vision in which I have placed someone else, even if you are distant.

Storms! Dalinar bellowed a laugh.

What have I done? the Stormfather asked.

“You’ve just solved my problem!”

The problem from The Way of Kings?

“No, the greater one. I’ve been wishing for a way to meet with the other monarchs in person.” Dalinar grinned. “I think that in a coming highstorm, Queen Fen of Thaylenah is going to have a quite remarkable experience.”

 


 

Chapter 29
No Backing Down

So sit back. Read, or listen, to someone who has passed between realms.

—From Oathbringer, preface

 

Veil prowled through the Breakaway market, hat pulled low, hands in her pockets. Nobody else seemed to be able to hear the beast that she did.

Regular shipments of supplies through Jah Keved via King Taravangian had set the market bustling. Fortunately, with a third Radiant capable of working the Oathgate now, less of Shallan’s time was required.

Spheres that glowed again, and several highstorms as proof that that would persist, had encouraged everyone. Excitement was high, trading brisk. Drink flowed freely from casks emblazoned with the royal seal of Jah Keved. Lurking within it all, somewhere, was a predator that only Veil could hear.

She heard the thing in the silence between laughter. It was the sound of a tunnel extending into the darkness. The feel of breath on the back of your neck in a dark room.

How could they laugh while that void watched?

It had been a frustrating four days. Dalinar had increased patrols to almost ridiculous levels, but those soldiers weren’t watching the right way. They were too easily seen, too disruptive. Veil had set her men to a more targeted surveillance in the market.

So far, they’d found nothing. Her team was tired, as was Shallan, who suff red from the long nights as Veil. Fortunately, Shallan wasn’t doing anything particularly useful these days. Sword training with Adolin each day—more frolicking and flirting than useful swordplay—and the occasional meeting with Dalinar where she had nothing to add but a pretty map.

Veil though… Veil hunted the hunter. Dalinar acted like a soldier: increased patrols, strict rules. He asked his scribes to find him evidence of spren attacking people in historical records.

He needed more than vague explanations and abstract ideas—but those were the very soul of art. If you could explain something perfectly, then you’d never need art. That was the difference between a table and a beautiful woodcutting. You could explain the table: its purpose, its shape, its nature. The woodcutting you simply had to experience.

She ducked into a tent tavern. Did it seem busier in here than on previous nights? Yes. Dalinar’s patrols had people on edge. They were avoiding the darker, more sinister taverns in favor of ones with good crowds and bright lights.

Gaz and Red stood beside a pile of crates, nursing drinks and wearing plain trousers and shirts, not uniforms. She hoped they weren’t too intoxicated yet. Veil pushed up to their position, crossing her arms on the boxes.

“Nothing yet,” Gaz said with a grunt. “Same as the other nights.”

“Not that we’re complaining,” Red added, grinning as he took a long pull on his drink. “This is the kind of soldiering I can really get behind.”

“It’s going to happen tonight,” Veil said. “I can smell it in the air.”

“You said that last night, Veil,” Gaz said.

Three nights ago, a friendly game of cards had turned to violence, and one player had hit another over the head with a bottle. That often wouldn’t have been lethal, but it had hit just right and killed the poor fellow. The perpetrator—one of Ruthar’s soldiers—had been hanged the next day in the market’s central square.

As unfortunate as the event had been, it was exactly what she’d been waiting for. A seed. An act of violence, one man striking the other. She’d mobilized her team and set them in the taverns near where the fight occurred. Watch, she’d said. Someone will get attacked with a bottle, in exactly the same way. Pick someone who looks like the man who died, and watch.

Shallan had done sketches of the murdered man, a short fellow with long drooping mustaches. Veil had distributed them; the men took her as no more than another employee.

Now… they waited.

“The attack will come,” Veil said. “Who are your targets?”

Red pointed out two men in the tent who had mustaches and were of a similar height to the dead man. Veil nodded and dropped a few low-value spheres onto the table. “Get something in you other than booze.”

“Sure, sure,” Red said as Gaz grabbed the spheres. “But tell me, sweetness, don’t you want to stay here with us a little longer?”

“Most men who have made a pass at me end up missing a finger or two, Red.”

“I’d still have plenty left to satisfy you, I promise.”

She looked back at him, then started snickering. “That was a decently good line.”

“Thanks!” He raised his mug. “So…”

“Sorry, not interested.”

He sighed, but raised his mug farther before taking a pull on it. “Where did you come from, anyway?” Gaz said, inspecting her with his single eye.

“Shallan kind of sucked me up along the way, like a boat pulling flotsam into its wake.”

“She does that,” Red said. “You think you’re done. Living out the last light of your sphere, you know? And then suddenly, you’re an honor guard to a storming Knight Radiant, and everyone’s looking up to you.”

Gaz grunted. “Ain’t that true. Ain’t that true.…”

“Keep watch,” Veil said. “You know what to do if something happens.”

They nodded. They’d send one man to the meeting place, while the other tried to tail the attacker. They knew there might be something weird about the man they chased, but she hadn’t told them everything.

Veil walked back to the meeting point, near a dais at the center of the market, close to the well. The dais looked like it had once held some kind of official building, but all that remained was the six-foot-high foundation with steps leading up to it on four sides. Here, Aladar’s officers had set up central policing operations and disciplinary facilities.

She watched the crowds while idly spinning her knife in her fingers. Veil liked watching people. That she shared with Shallan. It was good to know how the two of them were different, but it was also good to know what they had in common.

Veil wasn’t a true loner. She needed people. Yes, she scammed them on occasion, but she wasn’t a thief. She was a lover of experience. She was at her best in a crowded market, watching, thinking, enjoying.

Now Radiant… Radiant could take people or leave them. They were a tool, but also a nuisance. How could they so often act against their own best interests? The world would be a better place if they’d all simply do what Radiant said. Barring that, they could at least leave her alone.

Veil flipped her knife up and caught it. Radiant and Veil shared efficiency. They liked seeing things done well, in the right way. They didn’t suffer fools, though Veil could laugh at them, while Radiant simply ignored them.

Screams sounded in the market.

Finally, Veil thought, catching her knife and spinning. She came alert, eager, drawing in Stormlight. Where?

Vathah came barreling through the crowd, shoving aside a marketgoer. Veil ran to meet him.

“Details!” Veil snapped.

“It wasn’t like you said,” he said. “Follow me.”

The two took off back the way he’d come.

“It wasn’t a bottle to the head.” Vathah said. “My tent is near one of the buildings. The stone ones that were here in the market, you know?”

“And?” she demanded.

Vathah pointed as they drew close. You couldn’t miss the tall structure beside the tent he and Glurv had been watching. At the top, a corpse dangled from an outcropping, hanged by the neck.

Hanged. Storm it. The thing didn’t imitate the attack with the bottle… it imitated the execution that followed!

Vathah pointed. “Killer dropped the person up there, leaving them to twitch. Then the killer jumped down. All that distance, Veil. How—”

“Where?” she demanded.

“Glurv is tailing,” Vathah said, pointing.

The two charged in that direction, shoving their way through the crowds. They eventually spotted Glurv up ahead, standing on the edge of the well, waving. He was a squat man with a face that always looked swollen, as if it were trying to burst through its skin.

“Man wearing all black,” he said. “Ran straight toward the eastern tunnels!” He pointed toward where troubled marketgoers were peering down a tunnel, as if someone had just passed them in a rush.

Veil dashed in that direction. Vathah stayed with her longer than Glurv— but with Stormlight, she maintained a sprint no ordinary person could match. She burst into the indicated hallway and demanded to know if anyone had seen a man pass this way. A pair of women pointed.

Veil followed, heart beating violently, Stormlight raging within her. If she failed the chase, she’d have to wait for two more people to be assaulted—if it even happened again. The creature might hide, now that it knew she was watching.

She sprinted down this hallway, leaving behind the more populated sections of the tower. A few last people pointed down a tunnel at her shouted question.

She was beginning to lose hope as she reached the end of the hallway at an intersection, and looked one way, then the other. She glowed brightly to light the corridors for a distance, but she saw nothing in either.

She let out a sigh, slumping against the wall.

“Mmmm…” Pattern said from her coat. “It’s there.”

“Where?” Shallan asked.

“To the right. The shadows are off. The wrong pattern.”

She stepped forward, and something split out of the shadows, a figure that was jet black—though like a liquid or a polished stone, it reflected her light. It scrambled away, its shape wrong. Not fully human.

Veil ran, heedless of the danger. This thing might be able to hurt her— but the mystery was the greater threat. She needed to know these secrets.

Shallan skidded around a corner, then barreled down the next tunnel. She managed to follow the broken piece of shadow, but she couldn’t quite catch it.

The chase led her deeper into the far reaches of the tower’s ground floor, to areas barely explored, where the tunnels grew increasingly confusing. The air smelled of old things. Of dust and stone left alone for ages. The strata danced on the walls, the speed of her run making them seem to twist around her like threads in a loom.

The thing dropped to all fours, light from Shallan’s glow reflecting off its coal skin. It ran, frantic, until it hit a turn in the tunnel ahead and squeezed into a hole in the wall, two feet wide, near the floor.

Radiant dropped to her knees, spotting the thing as it wriggled out the other side of the hole. Not that thick, she thought, standing. “Pattern!” she demanded, thrusting her hand to the side.

She attacked the wall with her Shardblade, slicing chunks free, dropping them to the floor with a clatter. The strata ran all the way through the stone, and the pieces she carved off had a forlorn, broken beauty to them.

Engorged with Light, she shoved up against the sliced wall, finally breaking through into a small room beyond.

Much of its floor was taken up by the mouth of a pit. Circled by stone steps with no railing, the hole bored down through the rock into darkness. Radiant lowered her Shardblade, letting it slice into the rock at her feet. A hole. Like her drawing of spiraling blackness, a pit that seemed to descend into the void itself.

She released her Shardblade, falling to her knees.

“Shallan?” Pattern asked, rising up from the ground near where the Blade had vanished.

“We’ll need to descend.”

“Now?”

She nodded. “But first… first, go and get Adolin. Tell him to bring soldiers.”

Pattern hummed. “You won’t go alone, will you?”

“No. I promise. Can you make your way back?”

Pattern buzzed affirmatively, then zipped off across the ground, dimpling the floor of the rock. Curiously, the wall near where she’d broken in showed the rust marks and remnants of ancient hinges. So there was a secret door to get into this place.

Shallan kept her word. She was drawn toward that blackness, but she wasn’t stupid. Well, mostly not stupid. She waited, transfixed by the pit, until she heard voices from the hallway behind her. He can’t see me in Veil’s clothing! she thought, and started to reawaken. How long had she been kneeling there?

She took off Veil’s hat and long white coat, then hid them behind the debris. Stormlight enfolded her, painting the image of a havah over her trousers, gloved hand, and tight buttoned shirt.

Shallan. She was Shallan again—innocent, lively Shallan. Quick with a quip, even when nobody wanted to hear it. Earnest, but sometimes over-eager. She could be that person.

That’s you, a part of her cried as she adopted the persona. That’s the real you. Isn’t it? Why do you have to paint that face over another?

She turned as a short, wiry man in a blue uniform entered the room, grey dusting his temples. What was his name again? She’d spent some time around Bridge Four in the last few weeks, but still hadn’t learned them all.

Adolin strode in next, wearing Kholin blue Shardplate, faceplate up, Blade resting on his shoulder. Judging from the sounds out in the hallway— and the Herdazian faces that peeked into the room—he had brought not only soldiers, but the entirety of Bridge Four.

That included Renarin, who clomped in after his brother, clad in slate-colored Shardplate. Renarin looked far less frail when fully armored, though his face didn’t seem like a soldier’s, even if he had stopped wearing his spectacles.

Pattern approached and tried to slide up her illusory dress, but then stopped, backing away and humming in pleasure at the lie. “I found him!” he proclaimed. “I found Adolin!”

“I see that,” Shallan said.

“He came at me,” Adolin said, “in the training rooms, screaming that you’d found the killer. Said that if I didn’t come, you’d probably—and I quote—‘go do something stupid without letting me watch.’ ”

Pattern hummed. “Stupidity. Very interesting.”

“You should visit the Alethi court sometime,” Adolin said, stepping over to the pit. “So…”

“We tracked the thing that has been assaulting people,” Shallan said. “It killed someone in the market, then it came here.”

“The… thing?” one of the bridgemen asked. “Not a person?”

“It’s a spren,” Shallan whispered. “But not like one I’ve ever seen. It’s able to imitate a person for a time—but it eventually becomes something else. A broken face, a twisted shape…”

“Sounds like that girl you’ve been seeing, Skar,” one of the bridgemen noted.

“Ha ha,” Skar said dryly. “How about we toss you in that pit, Eth, and see how far down this thing goes?”

“So this spren,” Lopen said, approaching the pit, “it, sure, killed Highprince Sadeas?”

Shallan hesitated. No. It had killed Perel in copying the Sadeas murder, but someone else had murdered the highprince. She glanced at Adolin, who must have been thinking the same thing, for how solemn his expression was.

The spren was the greater threat—it had performed multiple murders. Still, it made her uncomfortable to acknowledge that her investigation hadn’t taken them a single step closer to finding who had killed the highprince.

“We must have passed by this point a dozen times,” a soldier said from behind. Shallan started; that voice was female. Indeed, she’d mistaken one of Dalinar’s scouts—the short woman with long hair—for another bridgeman, though her uniform was diff rent. She was inspecting the cuts Shallan had made to get into this room. “Don’t you remember scouting right past that curved hallway outside, Teft?”

Teft nodded, rubbing his bearded chin. “Yeah, you’re right, Lyn. But why hide a room like this?”

“There’s something down there,” Renarin whispered, leaning out over the pit. “Something… ancient. You’ve felt it, haven’t you?” He looked up at Shallan, then the others in the room. “This place is weird; this whole tower is weird. You’ve noticed it too, right?”

“Kid,” Teft said, “you’re the expert on what’s weird. We’ll trust your word.”

Shallan looked with concern toward Renarin at the insult. He just grinned, as one of the other bridgemen slapped him on the back—Plate notwithstanding—while Lopen and Rock started arguing over who was truly the weirdest among them. In a moment of surprise, she realized that Bridge Four had actually assimilated Renarin. He might be the lighteyed son of a highprince, resplendent in Shardplate, but here he was just another bridgeman.

“So,” one of the men said, a handsome, muscled fellow with arms that seemed too long for his body, “I assume we’re heading down into this awful crypt of terror?”

“Yes,” Shallan said. She thought his name was Drehy.

“Storming lovely,” Drehy said. “Marching orders, Teft?”

“That’s up to Brightlord Adolin.”

“I brought the best men I could find,” Adolin said to Shallan. “But I feel like I should bring an entire army instead. You sure you want to do this now?”

“Yes,” Shallan said. “We have to, Adolin. And… I don’t know that an army would make a difference.”

“Very well. Teft, give us a hefty rearguard. I don’t fancy having something sneak up on us. Lyn, I want accurate maps—stop us if we get too far ahead of your drawing. I want to know my exact line of retreat. We go slowly, men. Be ready to perform a controlled, careful retreat if I command it.”

Some shuffling of personnel followed. Then the group finally started down the staircase, single file, Shallan and Adolin near the center of the pack. The steps jutted right from the wall, but were wide enough that people would be able to pass on their way up, so there was no danger of falling off She tried to keep from brushing anyone, as it might disturb the illusion that she was wearing her dress.

The sound of their footsteps vanished into the void. Soon they were alone with the timeless, patient darkness. The light of the sphere lanterns the bridgemen carried didn’t seem to stretch far in that pit. It reminded Shallan of the mausoleum carved into the hill near her manor, where ancient Davar family members had been Soulcast to statues.

Her father’s body hadn’t been placed there. They had lacked the funds to pay for a Soulcaster—and besides, they’d wanted to pretend he was alive. She and her brothers had burned the body, as the darkeyes did.

Pain…

“I have to remind you, Brightness,” Teft said from in front of her, “you can’t expect anything… extraordinary from my men. For a bit, some of us sucked up light and strutted about like we were Stormblessed. That stopped when Kaladin left.”

“It’ll come back, gancho!” Lopen said from behind her. “When Kaladin returns, we’ll glow again good.”

“Hush, Lopen,” Teft said. “Keep your voice down. Anyway, Brightness, the lads will do their best, but you need to know what—and what not—to expect.”

Shallan hadn’t been expecting Radiant powers from them; she’d known about their limitation already. All she needed were soldiers. Eventually, Lopen tossed a diamond chip into the hole, earning him a glare from Adolin.

“It might be down there waiting for us,” the prince hissed. “Don’t give it warning.”

The bridgeman wilted, but nodded. The sphere bounced as a visible pinprick below, and Shallan was glad to know that at least there was an end to this descent. She’d begun to imagine an infinite spiral, like with old Dilid, one of the ten fools. He ran up a hillside toward the Tranquiline Halls with sand sliding beneath his feet—running for eternity, but never making progress.

Several bridgemen let out audible sighs of relief as they finally reached the bottom of the shaft. Here, piles of splinters scattered at the edges of the round chamber, covered in decayspren. There had once been a banister for the steps, but it had fallen to the effects of time.

The bottom of the shaft had only one exit, a large archway more elaborate than others in the tower. Up above, almost everything was the same uniform stone—as if this whole tower had been carved in one go. Here, the archway was of separately placed stones, and the walls of the tunnel beyond were lined with bright mosaic tiles.

Once they entered the hall, Shallan gasped, holding up a diamond broam. Gorgeous, intricate pictures of the Heralds—made of thousands of tiles— adorned the ceiling, each in a circular panel.

The art on the walls was more enigmatic. A solitary figure hovering above the ground before a large blue disc, arms stretched to the side as if to embrace it. Depictions of the Almighty in his traditional form as a cloud bursting with energy and light. A woman in the shape of a tree, hands spreading toward the sky and becoming branches. Who would have thought to find pagan symbols in the home of the Knights Radiant?

Other murals depicted shapes that reminded her of Pattern, windspren… ten kinds of spren. One for each order?

Adolin sent a vanguard a short distance ahead, and soon they returned. “Metal doors ahead, Brightlord,” Lyn said. “One on each side of the hall.”

Shallan pried her eyes away from the murals, joining the main body of the force as they moved. They reached the large steel doors and stopped, though the corridor itself continued onward. At Shallan’s prompting, the bridgemen tried them, but couldn’t get them open.

“Locked,” Drehy said, wiping his brow.

Adolin stepped forward, sword in hand. “I’ve got a key.”

“Adolin…” Shallan said. “These are artifacts from another time. Valuable and precious.”

“I won’t break them too much,” he promised.

“But—”

“Aren’t we chasing a murderer?” he said. “Someone who is likely to, say, hide in a locked room?”

She sighed, then nodded as he waved everyone back. She tucked her safehand, which had brushed him, back under her arm. It was so strange to feel like she was wearing a glove, but to see her hand as sleeved. Would it really have been so bad to let Adolin know about Veil?

A part of her panicked at the idea, so she let go of it quickly.

Adolin rammed his Blade through the door just above where the lock or bar would be, then swept it down. Teft tried the door, and was able to shove it open, hinges grinding loudly.

The bridgemen ducked in first, spears in hand. For all Teft’s insistence that she wasn’t to expect anything exceptional of them, they took point without orders, even though there were two Shardbearers at the ready.

Adolin rushed in after the bridgemen to secure the room, though Renarin wasn’t paying much attention. He’d walked a few steps farther down the main corridor, and now stood still, staring deeper into the depths, sphere held absently in one gauntleted hand, Shardblade in the other.

Shallan stepped up hesitantly beside him. A cool breeze blew from behind them, as if being sucked into that darkness. The mystery lurked in that direction, the captivating depths. She could sense it more distinctly now. Not an evil really, but a wrongness. Like the sight of a wrist hanging from an arm after the bone is broken.

“What is it?” Renarin whispered. “Glys is frightened, and won’t speak.”

“Pattern doesn’t know,” Shallan said. “He calls it ancient. Says it’s of the enemy.”

Renarin nodded.

“Your father doesn’t seem to be able to feel it,” Shallan said. “Why can we?”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe—”

“Shallan?” Adolin said, looking out of the room, his faceplate up. “You should see this.”

The wreckage inside the room was more decayed than most they’d found in the tower. Rusted clasps and screws clung to bits of wood. Decomposed heaps ran in rows, containing bits of fragile covers and spines.

A library. They’d finally found the books Jasnah had dreamed of discovering.

They were ruined.

With a sinking feeling, Shallan moved through the room, nudging at piles of dust and splinters with her toes, frightening off decayspren. She found some shapes of books, but they disintegrated at her touch. She knelt between two rows of fallen books, feeling lost. All that knowledge… dead and gone.

“Sorry,” Adolin said, standing awkwardly nearby.

“Don’t let the men disturb this. Maybe… maybe there’s something Navani’s scholars can do to recover it.”

“Want us to search the other room?” Adolin asked.

She nodded, and he clanked off. A short time later, she heard hinges creak as Adolin forced open the door.

Shallan suddenly felt exhausted. If these books here were gone, then it was unlikely they’d find others better preserved.

Forward. She rose, brushing off her knees, which only reminded her that her dress wasn’t real. You aren’t here for this secret anyway.

She stepped out into the main hallway, the one with the murals. Adolin and the bridgemen were exploring the room on the other side, but a quick glance showed Shallan that it was a mirror of the one they’d left, furnished only with piles of debris.

“Um… guys?” Lyn, the scout, called. “Prince Adolin? Brightness Radiant?”

Shallan turned from the room. Renarin had walked farther down the corridor. The scout had followed him, but had frozen in the hallway. Renarin’s sphere illuminated something in the distance. A large mass that reflected the light, like glistening tar.

“We shouldn’t have come here,” Renarin said. “We can’t fight this. Stormfather.” He stumbled backward. “Stormfather…”

The bridgemen hastened into the hallway in front of Shallan, between her and Renarin. At a barked order from Teft, they made a formation spanning from one side of the main hallway to the other: a line of men holding spears low, with a second line behind holding more spears higher in an overhand grip.

Adolin burst out of the second library room, then gaped at the undulating shape in the distance. A living darkness.

That darkness seeped down the hallway. It wasn’t fast, but there was an inevitability about the way it coated everything, flowing up the sides of the walls, onto the ceiling. On the ground, shapes split from the main mass, becoming figures that stepped as if from the surf. Creatures that had two feet and soon grew faces, with clothing that rippled into existence.

“She’s here,” Renarin whispered. “One of the Unmade. Re-Shephir… the Midnight Mother.”

“Run, Shallan!” Adolin shouted. “Men, start back up the hall.” Then—of course—he charged at the flood of things.

The figures… they look like us, Shallan thought, stepping back, farther from the line of bridgemen. There was one midnight creature that looked like Teft, and another that was a copy of Lopen. Two larger shapes seemed to be wearing Shardplate. Except they were made of shiny tar, their features blobby, imperfect.

The mouths opened, sprouting spiny teeth.

“Make a careful retreat, like the prince ordered!” Teft called. “Don’t get boxed in, men! Hold the line! Renarin!”

Renarin still stood out in front, holding forth his Shardblade: long and thin, with a waving pattern to the metal. Adolin reached his brother, then grabbed his arm and tried to tow him back.

He resisted. He seemed mesmerized by that line of forming monsters.

“Renarin! Attention!” Teft shouted. “To the line!”

The boy’s head snapped up at the command and he scrambled—as if he weren’t the cousin of the king—to obey his sergeant’s order. Adolin retreated with him, and the two fell into formation with the bridgemen. Together, they pulled backward through the main hall.

Shallan backed up, staying roughly twenty feet behind the formation. Suddenly, the enemy moved with a burst of speed. Shallan cried out, and the bridgemen cursed, turning spears as the main mass of darkness swept up along the sides of the corridor, covering the beautiful murals.

The midnight figures dashed forward, charging the line. An explosive, frantic clash followed, bridgemen holding formation and striking at creatures who suddenly began forming on the right and left, coming out of the blackness on the walls. The things bled vapor when struck, a darkness that hissed from them and dissipated into the air.

Like smoke, Shallan thought.

The tar swept down from the walls, surrounding the bridgemen, who circled to keep themselves from being attacked at the rear. Adolin and Renarin fought at the very front, hacking with Blades, leaving dark figures to hiss and gush smoke in pieces.

Shallan found herself separated from the soldiers, an inky blackness between them. There didn’t seem to be a duplicate for her.

The midnight faces bristled with teeth. Though they thrust with spears, they did so awkwardly. They struck true now and then, wounding a bridgeman, who would pull back into the center of the formation to be hastily bandaged by Lyn or Lopen. Renarin fell into the center and started to glow with Stormlight, healing those who were hurt.

Shallan watched all this, feeling a numbing trance settle over her. “I… know you,” she whispered to the blackness, realizing it was true. “I know what you’re doing.”

Men grunted and stabbed. Adolin swept before himself, Shardblade trailing black smoke from the creatures’ wounds. He chopped apart dozens of the things, but new ones continued forming, wearing familiar shapes. Dalinar. Teshav. Highprinces and scouts, soldiers and scribes.

“You try to imitate us,” Shallan said. “But you fail. You’re a spren. You don’t quite understand.”

She stepped toward the surrounded bridgemen.

“Shallan!” Adolin called, grunting as he cleaved three figures before him. “Escape! Run!”

She ignored him, stepping up to the darkness. In front of her—at the closest point of the ring—Drehy stabbed a figure straight through the head, sending it stumbling back. Shallan seized its shoulders, spinning it toward her. It was Navani, a gaping hole in her face, black smoke escaping with a hiss. Even ignoring that, the features were off. The nose too big, one eye a little higher than the other.

It dropped to the floor, writhing as it deflated like a punctured wineskin.

Shallan strode right up to the formation. The things fled her, shying to the sides. Shallan had the distinct and terrifying impression that these things could have swept the bridgemen away at will—overwhelming them in a terrible black tide. But the Midnight Mother wanted to learn; she wanted to fight with spears.

If that was so, however, she was growing impatient. The newer figures forming up were increasingly distorted, more bestial, spiny teeth spilling from their mouths.

“Your imitation is pathetic,” Shallan whispered. “Here. Let me show you how it’s done.”

Shallan drew in her Stormlight, going alight like a beacon. Things screamed, pulling away from her. As she stepped around the formation of worried bridgemen—wading into the blackness at their left flank—figures extended from her, shapes growing from light. The people from her recently rebuilt collection.

Palona. Soldiers from the hallways. A group of Soulcasters she’d passed two days ago. Men and women from the markets. Highprinces and scribes. The man who had tried to pick up Veil at the tavern. The Horneater she’d stabbed in the hand. Soldiers. Cobblers. Scouts. Washwomen. Even a few kings.

A glowing, radiant force.

Her figures spread out to surround the beleaguered bridgemen like sentries. This new, glowing force drove the enemy monsters back, and the tar withdrew along the sides of the hall, until the path of retreat was open. The Midnight Mother dominated the darkness at the end of the hall, the direction they had not yet explored. It waited there, and did not recede farther.

The bridgemen relaxed, Renarin muttering as he healed the last few who had been hurt. Shallan’s cohort of glowing figures moved forward and formed a line with her, between darkness and bridgemen.

The creatures formed again from the blackness ahead, growing more ferocious, like beasts. Featureless blobs with teeth sprouting from slit mouths.

“How are you doing this?” Adolin asked, voice ringing from within his helm. “Why are they afraid?”

“Has someone with a knife—not knowing who you were—ever tried to threaten you?”

“Yeah. I just summoned my Shardblade.”

“It’s a little like that.” Shallan stepped forward, and Adolin joined her. Renarin summoned his Blade and took a few quick steps to reach them, his Plate clicking.

The darkness pulled back, revealing that the hallway opened up into a room ahead. As she approached, Shallan’s Stormlight illuminated a bowl-like chamber. The center was dominated by a heaving black mass that undulated and pulsed, stretching from floor to ceiling some twenty feet above.

The midnight beasts tested forward against her light, no longer seeming as intimidated.

“We have to choose,” Shallan said to Adolin and Renarin. “Retreat or attack?”

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know. This creature… she’s been watching me. She’s changed how I see the tower. I feel like I understand her, a connection I cannot explain. That can’t be a good thing, right? Can we even trust what I think?”

Adolin raised his faceplate and smiled at her. Storms, that smile. “Highmarshal Halad always said that to beat someone, you must first know them. It’s become one of the rules we follow in warfare.”

“And… what did he say about retreat?”

“ ‘Plan every battle as if you will inevitably retreat, but fight every battle like there is no backing down.’”

The main mass in the chamber undulated, faces appearing from its tarry surface—pressing out as if trying to escape. There was something beneath the enormous spren. Yes, it was wrapped around a pillar that reached from the floor of the circular room to its ceiling.

The murals, the intricate art, the fallen troves of information… This place was important.

Shallan clasped her hands before herself, and the Patternblade formed in her palms. She twisted it in a sweaty grip, falling into the dueling stance Adolin had been teaching her.

Holding it immediately brought pain. Not the screaming of a dead spren. Pain inside. The pain of an Ideal sworn, but not yet overcome.

“Bridgemen,” Adolin called. “You willing to give it another go?”

“We’ll last longer than you will, gancho! Even with your fancy armor.”

Adolin grinned and slammed his faceplate down. “At your word, Radiant.”

She sent her illusions in, but the darkness didn’t shy before them as it had previously. Black figures attacked her illusions, testing to find that they weren’t real. Dozens of these midnight men clogged the way forward.

“Clear the way for me to the thing in the center,” she said, trying to sound more certain than she felt. “I need to get close enough to touch her.”

“Renarin, can you guard my back?” Adolin asked.

Renarin nodded.

Adolin took a deep breath, then charged into the room, bursting right through the middle of an illusion of his father. He struck at the first midnight man, chopping it down, then began sweeping around him in a frenzy.

Bridge Four shouted, rushing in behind him. Together, they began to form a path for Shallan, slaying the creatures between her and the pillar.

She walked through the bridgemen, a rank of them forming a spear line to either side of her. Ahead, Adolin pushed toward the pillar, Renarin at his back preventing him from being surrounded, bridgemen in turn pushing up along the sides to keep Renarin from being overwhelmed.

The monsters no longer bore even a semblance of humanity. They struck Adolin, too-real claws and teeth scraping his armor. Others clung to him, trying to weigh him down or find chinks in the Shardplate.

They know how to face men like him, Shallan thought, still holding her Shardblade in one hand. Why then do they fear me?

Shallan wove Light, and a version of Radiant appeared near Renarin. The creatures attacked it, leaving Renarin for a moment—unfortunately, most of her illusions had fallen, collapsing into Stormlight as they were disrupted again and again. She could have kept them going, she thought, with more practice.

Instead, she wove versions of herself. Young and old, confident and frightened. A dozen different Shallans. With a shock, she realized that several were pictures she’d lost, self-portraits she’d practiced with a mirror, as Dandos the Oilsworn had insisted was vital for an aspiring artist.

Some of her selves cowered; others fought. For a moment Shallan lost herself, and she even let Veil appear among them. She was those women, those girls, every one of them. And none of them were her. They were things she used, manipulated. Illusions.

“Shallan!” Adolin shouted, voice straining as Renarin grunted and ripped midnight men off him. “Whatever you’re going to do, do it now!”

She’d stepped up to the front of the column the soldiers had won for her, right near Adolin. She tore her gaze away from a child Shallan dancing among the midnight men. Before her, the main mass—coating the pillar in the center of the room—bubbled with faces that stretched against the surface, mouths opening to scream, then submerged like men drowning in tar.

“Shallan!” Adolin said again.

That pulsing mass, so terrible, but so captivating.

The image of the pit. The twisting lines of the corridors. The tower that couldn’t be completely seen. This was why she’d come.

Shallan strode forward, arm out, and let the illusory sleeve covering her hand vanish. She pulled off her glove, stepped right up to the mass of tar and voiceless screams.

Then pressed her safehand against it.

 


 

Chapter 30
Mother of Lies

Listen to the words of a fool.

—From Oathbringer, preface

 

Shallan was open to this thing. Laid bare, her skin split, her soul gaping wide. It could get in.

It was also open to her.

She felt its confused fascination with humankind. It remembered men— an innate understanding, much as newborn mink kits innately knew to fear the skyeel. This spren was not completely aware, not completely cognizant. She was a creation of instinct and alien curiosity, drawn to violence and pain like scavengers to the scent of blood.

Shallan knew Re-Shephir at the same time as the thing came to know her. The spren tugged and prodded at Shallan’s bond with Pattern, seeking to rip it free and insert herself instead. Pattern clung to Shallan, and she to him, holding on for dear life.

She fears us, Pattern’s voice buzzed in her head. Why does she fear us?

In her mind’s eye, Shallan envisioned herself holding tightly to Pattern in his humanoid form, the two of them huddled down before the spren’s attack. That image was all she could see at the moment, for the room— and everything in it—had dissolved to black.

This thing was ancient. Created long ago as a splinter of the soul of something even more terrible, Re-Shephir had been ordered to sow chaos, spawning horrors to confuse and destroy men. Over time, slowly, she’d become increasingly intrigued by the things she murdered.

Her creations had come to imitate what she saw in the world, but lacking love or affection. Like stones come alive, content to be killed or to kill with no attachment or enjoyment. No emotions beyond an overpowering curiosity, and that ephemeral attraction to violence.

Almighty above… it’s like a creationspren. Only so, so wrong.

Pattern whimpered, huddled against Shallan in his shape of a man with a stiff robe and a moving pattern for a head. She tried to shield him from the onslaught.

Fight every battle… as if there is… no backing down.

Shallan looked into the depths of the swirling void, the dark spinning soul of Re-Shephir, the Midnight Mother. Then, growling, Shallan struck.

She didn’t attack like the prim, excitable girl who had been trained by cautious Vorin society. She attacked like the frenzied child who had murdered her mother. The cornered woman who had stabbed Tyn through the chest. She drew upon the part of her that hated the way everyone assumed she was so nice, so sweet. The part of her that hated being described as diverting or clever.

She drew upon the Stormlight within, and pushed herself farther into Re-Shephir’s essence. She couldn’t tell if it was actually happening—if she was pushing her physical body farther into the creature’s tar—or if this was all a representation of someplace else. A place beyond this room in the tower, beyond even Shadesmar.

The creature trembled, and Shallan finally saw the reason for its fear. It had been trapped. The event had happened recently in the spren’s reckoning, though Shallan had the impression that in fact centuries upon centuries had passed.

Re-Shephir was terrified of it happening again. The imprisonment had been unexpected, presumed impossible. And it had been done by a Lightweaver like Shallan, who had understood this creature.

It feared her like an axehound might fear someone with a voice similar to that of its harsh master.

Shallan hung on, pressing herself against the enemy, but realization washed over her—the understanding that this thing was going to know her completely, discover each and every one of her secrets.

Her ferocity and determination wavered; her commitment began to seep away.

So she lied. She insisted that she wasn’t afraid. She was committed. She’d always been that way. She would continue that way forever.

Power could be an illusion of perception. Even within yourself.

Re-Shephir broke. It screeched, a sound that vibrated through Shallan. A screech that remembered its imprisonment and feared something worse.

Shallan dropped backward in the room where they’d been fighting. Adolin caught her in a steel grip, going down on one knee with an audible crack of Plate against stone. She heard that echoing scream fading. Not dying. Fleeing, escaping, determined to get as far from Shallan as it could.

When she forced her eyes open, she found the room clean of the darkness. The corpses of the midnight creatures had dissolved. Renarin quickly knelt next to a bridgeman who had been hurt, removing his gauntlet and infusing the man with healing Stormlight.

Adolin helped Shallan sit up, and she tucked her exposed safehand under her other arm. Storms… she’d somehow kept up the illusion of the havah.

Even after all of that, she didn’t want Adolin to know of Veil. She couldn’t.

“Where?” she asked him, exhausted. “Where did it go?”

Adolin pointed toward the other side of the room, where a tunnel extended farther down into the depths of the mountain. “It fled in that direction, like moving smoke.”

“So… should we chase it down?” Eth asked, making his way carefully toward the tunnel. His lantern revealed steps cut into the stone. “This goes down a long ways.”

Shallan could feel a change in the air. The tower was… different. “Don’t give chase,” she said, remembering the terror of that conflict. She was more than happy to let the thing run. “We can post guards in this chamber, but I don’t think she’ll return.”

“Yeah,” Teft said, leaning on his spear and wiping sweat from his face. “Guards seem like a very, very good idea.”

Shallan frowned at the tone of his voice, then followed his gaze, to look at the thing Re-Shephir had been hiding. The pillar in the exact center of the room.

It was set with thousands upon thousands of cut gemstones, most larger than Shallan’s fist. Together, they were a treasure worth more than most kingdoms.

 

Oathbringer: The Stormlight Archive Book 3 copyright © 2017 Dragonsteel Entertainment, LLC

Bitter Grounds

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We hope you enjoy this reprint, which first appeared in the Mojo: Conjure Stories anthology and subsequently in the collection Fragile Things.

1. “Come back early or never come”

In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside, another person who had no access to the face and lips and mouth and head, so on the surface I just shrugged and smiled and kept moving. If I could have physically passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life as easily as walking through a door, I would have done. But I was going to sleep at night and waking in the morning, disappointed to be there and resigned to existence.

Sometimes I telephoned her. I let the phone ring once, maybe even twice, before I hung up.

The me who was screaming was so far inside that nobody knew he was even there at all. Even I forgot that was there, until one day I got into the car?I had to go to the store, I had decided, to bring back some apples?and I went past the store that sold apples and I kept driving, and driving. I was going south, and west, because if I went north or east I would run out of world too soon.

A couple of hours down the highway my cell phone started to ring. I wound down the window and threw the cell phone out. I wondered who would find it, whether they would answer the phone and find themselves gifted with my life.

When I stopped for gas I took all the cash I could on every card I had. I did the same for the next couple of days, ATM by ATM, until the cards stopped working.

The first two nights I slept in the car.

I was halfway through Tennessee when I realized I needed a bath badly enough to pay for it. I checked into a motel, stretched out in the bath and slept in it until the water got cold and woke me. I shaved with a motel courtesy kit plastic razor and a sachet of foam. Then I stumbled to the bed, and I slept.

Awoke at 4:00 AM, and knew it was time to get back on the road.

I went down to the lobby.

There was a man standing at the front desk when I got there: silver-gray hair although I guessed he was still in his thirties, if only just, thin lips, good suit rumpled, saying “I ordered that cab an hour ago. One hour ago.” He tapped the desk with his wallet as he spoke, the beats emphasizing the words.

The night manager shrugged. “I’ll call again,” he said. “But if they don’t have a car, they can’t send it.” He dialed a phone number, said “This is the Night’s Out Inn front desk again.… Yeah, I told.… Yeah, I told him.”

“Hey,” I said “I’m not a cab, but I’m in no hurry. You need a ride somewhere?”

For a moment the man looked at me like I was crazy, and for a moment there was fear in his eyes. Then he looked at me like I’d been sent from Heaven. “You know, by God, I do,” he said.

“You tell me where to go,” I said. “I’ll take you there. Like I said, I’m in no hurry.”

“Give me that phone,” said the silver-gray man to the night clerk. He took a handset and said, “You can cancel your cab, because God just sent me a Good Samaritan. People come into your life for a reason. That’s right. And I want you to think about that.”

He picked up his briefcase?like me he had no luggage?and together we went out to the parking lot.

We drove through the dark. He’d check a hand-drawn map on his lap, with a flashlight attached to his key ring, then he’d say, left here, or this way.

“It’s good of you,” he said.

“No problem. I have time.”

“I appreciate it. You know, this has that pristine urban legend quality, driving down country roads with a mysterious Samaritan. A Phantom Hitchhiker story. After I get to my destination, I’ll describe you to a friend, and they’ll tell me you died ten years ago, and still go round giving people rides.”

“Be a good way to meet people.”

He chuckled. “What do you do?”

“Guess you could say I’m between jobs,” I said. “You?”

“I’m an anthropology professor.” Pause. “I guess I should have introduced myself. Teach at a Christian college. People don’t believe we teach anthropology at Christian colleges, but we do. Some of us.”

“I believe you.”

Another pause. “My car broke down. I got a ride to the motel from the highway patrol, as they said there was no tow truck going to be there until morning. Got two hours of sleep. Then the highway patrol called my hotel room. Tow truck’s on the way. I got to be there when they arrive. Can you believe that? I’m not there, they won’t touch it. Called a cab. Never came. Hope we get there before the tow truck.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I guess I should have taken a plane. It’s not that I’m scared of flying. But I cashed in the ticket. I’m on my way to New Orleans. Hour’s flight, four hundred and forty dollars. Day’s drive, thirty dollars. That’s four hundred and ten dollars’ spending money, and I don’t have to account for it to anybody. Spent fifty dollars on the motel room, but that’s just the way these things go. Academic conference. My first. Faculty doesn’t believe in them. But things change. I’m looking forward to it. Anthropologists from all over the world.” He named several, names that meant nothing to me. “I’m presenting a paper on the Haitian coffee girls.”

“They grow it, or drink it?”

“Neither. They sold it, door-to-door in Port-au-Prince, early in the morning, in the early years of the last century.”

It was starting to get light now.

“People thought they were zombies,” he said. “You know The walking dead. I think it’s a right turn here.”

“Were they? Zombies?”

He seemed very pleased to have been asked. “Well, anthropologically, there are several schools of thought about zombies. It’s not as cut-and-dried as popularist works like The Serpent and the Rainbow would make it appear. First we have to define our terms: are we talking folk belief, or zombie dust, or the walking dead?”

“I don’t know,” I said. I was pretty sure The Serpent and the Rainbow was a horror movie.

“They were children, little girls, five to ten years old, who went door-to-door through Port-au-Prince selling the chicory coffee mixture. Just about this time of day, before the sun was up. They belonged to one old woman. Hang a left just before we go into the next turn. When she died, the girls vanished. That’s what the book tells you.”

“And what do you believe?” I asked.

“That’s my car,” he said, with relief in his voice. It was a red Honda Accord, on the side of the road. There was a tow truck beside it, lights flashing, a man beside the tow truck smoking a cigarette. We pulled up behind the tow truck.

The anthropologist had the door opened before I’d stopped; he grabbed his briefcase and was out of the car.

“Was giving you another five minutes, then I was going to take off,” said the tow truck drive. He dropped his cigarette into a puddle on the tarmac. “Okay, I’ll need your triple-A car and a credit card.”

The man reached for his wallet. He looked puzzled. He put his hands in his pockets. He said, “My wallet.” He came back to my car, opened the passenger-side door and leaned back inside. I turned on the light. He patted the empty seat. “My wallet,” he said again. His voice was plaintive and hurt.

“You had it back in the motel,” I reminded him. “You were holding it. It was in your hand.”

He said, “God damn it. God fucking damn it to Hell.”

“Everything okay there?” called the tow truck driver.

“Okay,” said the anthropologist next to me, urgently. “This is what we’ll do. You drive back to the motel. I must have left the wallet on the desk. Bring it back here. I’ll keep him happy until then. Five minutes, it’ll take you five minutes.” He must have seen the expression on my face. He said, “Remember. People come into your life for a reason.”

I shrugged, irritated to have been sucked into someone else’s story.

Then he shut the car door and gave me a thumbs up.

I wished I could have just driven away and abandoned him, but it was too late, I was driving to the hotel. The night clerk gave me the wallet, which he had noticed on the counter, he told me, moments after we left.

I opened the wallet. The credit cards were all in the name of Jackson Anderton.

It took me half an hour to find my way back, as the sky grayed into full dawn. The tow truck was gone. The rear window of the red Honda Accord was broken, and the driver’s-side door hung open. I wondered if it was a different car, if I had driven the wrong way to the wrong place; but there were the tow truck driver’s cigarette stubs crushed on the road, and in the ditch nearby I found a gaping briefcase, empty, and beside it, a manilla folder containing a fifteen-page typescript, a prepaid hotel reservation at a Marriott in New Orleans in the name of Jackson Anderton, and a packet of three condoms, ribbed for extra pleasure.

On the title page of the typescript was printed:

“‘This was the way Zombies are spoken of: They are the bodies without souls. The living dead. Once they were dead, and after that they were called back to life again.’ Hurston. Tell My Horse.”

I took the manilla folder but left the briefcase where it was. I drove south under a pearl-colored sky.

People come into your life for a reason. Right.

I could not find a radio station that would hold its signal. Eventually I pressed the scan button on the radio and just left it on, left it scanning from channel to channel in a relentless quest for signal, scurrying from gospel to oldies to Bible talk to sex talk to country, three seconds a station with plenty of white noise in between.

…Lazarus, who was dead, you make no mistake about that, he was dead, and Jesus brought him back to show us, I say to show us…

What I call a Chinese dragon, can I say this on the air? Just as you, y’know, get your rocks off, you whomp her round the backatha head, it all spurts outta her nose, I damn near laugh my ass off…

If you come home tonight I’ll be waiting in the darkness for my woman with my bottle and my gun…

When Jesus says you will be there will you be there? No man knows the day or the hour so will you be there…

President unveiled an initative today…

Fresh-brewed in the morning. For you, for me. For every day. Because every day is freshly ground…

Over and over. It washed over me, driving through the day, on the backroads. Just driving and driving.

They become more personable as you head south, the people. You sit in a diner and, along with your coffee and your food, they bring you comments, questions, smiles, and nods.

It was evening, and I was eating fried chicken and collard greens and hush puppies, and a waitress smiled at me. The food seemed tasteless, but I guessed that might have been my problem, not theirs.

I nodded at her, politely, which she took as an invitation to come over and refill my coffee cup. The coffee was bitter, which I liked. At least it tasted of something.

“Looking at you,” she said. “I would guess that you are a professional man. May I inquire as to your profession?” That was what she said, word for word.

“Indeed you may,” I said, feeling almost possessed by something, and affably pompous, like W.C. Fields or the Nutty Professor (the fat one, not the Jerry Lewis one, although I am actually within pounds of my optimum weight for my height), “I happen to be… an anthropologist, on my way to a conference in New Orleans, where I shall confer, consult, and otherwise hobnob with my anthropologists.”

“I knew it,” she said. “Just looking at you. I had you figured for a professor. Or a dentist, maybe.”

She smiled at me one more time. I thought about stopping forever in that little town, eating in that diner every morning and every night. Drinking their bitter coffee and having her smile at me until I ran out of coffee and money and days.

Then I left her a good tip, and went south and west.

 


2. “Tongue brought me here”

There were no hotel rooms in New Orleans, or anywhere in the New Orleans sprawl. A Jazz Festival had eaten them, every one. It was too hot to sleep in my car, and, even if I’d cranked a window and been prepared to suffer the heat, I felt unsafe. New Orleans is a real place, which is more than I can about most of the cities I’ve lived in, but it’s not a safe place, not a friendly one.

I stank, and itched. I wanted to bathe, and to sleep, and for the world to stop moving past me.

I drove from fleabag motel to fleabag motel, and then, at the last, as I had always known I would, I drove into the parking lot of the downtown Marriott on Canal Street. At least I knew they had one free room. I had a voucher for it in the manilla folder.

“I need a room,” I said to one of the women behind the counter.

She barely looked at me. “All rooms are taken,” she said. “We won’t have anything until Tuesday.”

I needed to shave, and to shower, and to rest. What’s the worst she can say? I thought. I’m sorry, you’ve already checked in?

“I have a room, prepaid by my university. The name’s Anderton.”

She nodded, tapped a keyboard, said “Jackson?” then gave me a key to my room, and I initialed the room rate. She pointed me to the elevators.

A short man with a ponytail and a dark, hawkish face dusted with white stubble cleared his throat as we stood besides the elevators. “You’re the Anderton from Hopewell,” he said. “We were neighbors in the Journal of Anthropological Heresies.” He wore a white T-shirt that said “Anthropologists Do It While Being Lied To.”

“We were?”

“We were. I’m Campbell Lakh. University of Norwood and Streatham. Formerly North Croydon Polytechnic. England. I wrote the paper about Icelandic spirit-walkers and fetches.”

“Good to meet you,” I said, and shook his hand. “You don’t have a London accent.”

“I’m a Brummie,” he said. “From Birmingham,” he added. “Never seen you at one of these things before.”

“It’s my first conference,” I told him.

“Then you stick with me,” he said. “I’ll see you’re all right. I remember my first one of these conferences, I was scared shitless I’d do something stupid the entire time. We’ll stop on the mezzanine, get our stuff, then get cleaned up. There must have been a hundred babies on my plane over, Isweartogod. They took it in shifts to scream, shit, and puke, though. Never less than ten of them screaming at a time.”

We stopped on the mezzanine, collected our badges and programs. “Don’t forget to sign up for the ghost walk,” said the smiling woman behind the table. “Ghost walks of Old New Orleans each night, limited to fifteen people in each party, so sign up fast.”

I bathed, and washed my clothes out in the basin, then hung them up in the bathroom to dry.

I sat naked on the bed and examined the former contents of Anderton’s briefcase. I skimmed through the paper he had intended to present, without taking in the content.

On the clean back of page five he had written, in a tight, mostly legible, scrawl, “In a perfect perfect world you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glittering kiss and every touch of flesh is another shard of heart you’ll never see again.

“Until walking (waking? Calling?) on your own is unsupportable.”

When my clothes were pretty much dry I put them back on and went down to the lobby bar. Campbell was already there. He was drinking a gin and tonic, with a gin and tonic on the side.

He had out a copy of the conference program and had circled each of the talks and papers he wanted to see. (“Rule one, if it’s before midday, fuck it unless you’re the one doing it,” he explained.) He showed me my talk, circled in pencil.

“I’ve never done this before,” I told him. “Presented a paper at a conference.”

“It’s a piece of piss, Jackson,” he said. “Piece of piss. You know what I do?”

“No,” I said.

“I just get up and read the paper. Then people ask questions, and I just bullshit,” he said. “Actively bullshit, as opposed to passively. That’s the best bit. Just bullshitting. Piece of utter piss.”

“I’m not really good at, um, bullshitting,” I said. “Too honest.”

“Then nod, and tell them that that’s a really perceptive question, and that it’s addressed at length in the longer version of the paper, of which the one you are reading is an edited abstract. If you get some nut job giving you a really difficult time about something you got wrong, just get huffy and say that it’s not about what’s fashionable to believe, it’s about the truth.”

“Does that work?”

“Christ, yes, I gave a paper a few years back about the origins of the Thuggee sects in Persian military troops?it’s why you could get Hindus and Muslims equally becoming Thuggee, you see, the Kali worship was tacked on later. It would have begun as some sort of Manichaean secret society?”

“Still spouting that nonsense?” She was a tall, pale woman with a shock of white hair, wearing clothes that looked both aggressively, studiedly Bohemian, and far too warm for the climate. I could imagine her riding a bicycle, the kind with a wicker basket in the front.

“Spouting it? I’m writing a fucking book about it,” said the Englishman. “So, what I want to know is, who’s coming with me to the French Quarter to taste all that New Orleans can offer?”

“I’ll pass,” said the woman, unsmiling. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Jackson Anderton, from Hopewell College.”

“The Zombie Coffee Girls paper?” She smiled. “I saw it in the program. Quite fascinating. Yet another thing we owe Zora, eh?”

“Along with The Great Gatsby,” I said.

“Hurston knew F. Scott Fitzgerald?” said the bicycle woman. “I did not know that. We forget how small the New York literary world was back then, and how the color bar was often lifted for a Genius.”

The Englishman snorted. “Lifted? Only under sufferance. The woman died in penury as a cleaner in Florida. Nobody knew she’d written any of the stuff she wrote, let alone that she’d worked with Fitzgerald on The Great Gatsby. It’s pathetic, Margarent.”

“Posterity has a way of taking these things into account,” said the tall woman. She walked away.

Campbell started after her. “When I grow up,” he said. “I want to be her.”

“Why?”

He looked at me. “Yeah, that’s the attitude. You’re right. Some of us write the bestsellers, some of us read them, some of us get the prizes, some of us don’t. What’s important is being human, isn’t it? It’s how good a person you are. Being alive.”

He patted me on the arm.

“Come on. Interesting anthropological phenomenon I’ve read about on the Internet I shall point out to you tonight, of the kind you probably don’t see back in Dead Rat, Kentucky. Id est, women who would, under normal circumstances, not show their tits for a hundred quid, who will be only too pleased to get ’em out for the crowd for some cheap plastic beads.”

“Universal trading medium,” I said. “Beads.”

“Fuck,” he said. “There’s a paper in that. Come on. You ever had a Jell-O shot, Jackson?”

“No.”

“Me neither. Bet they’ll be disgusting. Let’s go and see.”

We paid for our drinks. I had to remind him to tip.

“By the way,” I said. “F. Scott Fitzgerald. What was his wife’s name?”

“Zelda? What about her?”

“Nothing,” I said.

Zelda. Zora. Whatever. We went out.

 


3. “Nothing, like something, happens anywhere”

Midnight, give or take. We were in a bar on Bourbon Street, me and the English anthropology prof, and he started buying drinks?real drinks, this place didn’t do Jell-O shots?for a couple of dark-haired women at the bar. They looked so similar they could have been sisters. One wore a red ribbon in her hair, the other wore a white ribbon. Gauguin could have painted them, only he would have painted them bare-breasted and without the silver mouse skull earrings. They laughed a lot.

We had seen a small party of academics walk past the bar at one point, being led by a guide with a black umbrella. I pointed them out to Campbell.

The woman with the red ribbon raised an eyebrow. “They go on the Haunted History tours, looking for ghosts, you want to say, dude, this is where the ghosts come, this is where the dead stay. Easier to go looking for the living.”

“You saying the tourists are alive?” said the other, mock-concern on her face.

“When they get here,” said the first, and they both laughed at that.

They laughed a lot.

The one with the white ribbon laughed at everything Campbell said. She would tell him, “Say fuck again,” and he would say it, and she would say, “Fook! Fook!” trying to copy him, and he’d say, “It’s not fook, it’s fuck,” and she couldn’t hear the difference, and would laugh some more.

After two drinks, maybe three, he took her by the hand and walked her into the back of the bar, where music was playing, and it was dark, and there were a couple of people already, if not dancing, then moving against each other.

I stayed where I was, beside the woman with the red ribbon in her hair.

She said, “So you’re in the record company, too?”

I nodded. It was what Campbell had told them we did. “I hate telling people I’m a fucking academic,” he had said, reasonably, when they were in the ladies’ room. Instead he had told them that he had discovered Oasis.

“How about you? What do you do in the world?”

She said, “I’m a priestess of Santeria. Me, I got it all in my blood, my papa was Brazilian, my momma was Irish-Cherokee. In Brazil, everybody makes love with everybody and they have best little brown babies. Everybody got black slave blood, everybody got Indian blood, my poppa even got some Japanese blood. His brother, my uncle, he looks Japanese. My poppa, he just a good-looking man. People think it was my poppa I got the Santeria from, but no, it was my grandmomma, she said she was Cherokee, but I had her figgered for mostly high yaller when I saw the old photographs. When I was three I was talking to dead folks, when I was five I watched a huge black dog, size of a Harley Davidson, walking behind a man in the street, no one could see it but me, when I told my mom, she told my grandmomma, they said, she’s got to know, she’s got to learn. There’s people to teach me, even as a little girl.

“I was never afraid of dead folk. You know that? They never hurt you. So many things in this town can hurt you, but the dead don’t hurt you. Living people hurt you. They hurt you so bad.”

I shrugged.

“This is a town where people sleep with each other, you know. We make love to each other. It’s something we do to show we’re still alive.”

I wondered if this was a come-on. It did not seem to be.

She said, “You hungry?”

I said, a little.

She said, “I know a place near here they got the best bowl of gumbo in New Orleans. Come on.”

I said, “I hear it’s a town you’re best off not walking on your own at night.”

“That’s right,” she said. “But you’ll have me with you. You’re safe, with me with you.”

Out on the street college girls were flashing their breasts to the crowds on the balconies. For every glimpse of nipple the onlookers would cheer and throw plastic beads. I had known the red-ribbon woman’s name earlier in the evening, but now it had evaporated.

“Used to be they only did this shit at Mardi Gras,” she said. “Now the tourists expect it, so it’s just tourists doing it for the tourists. The locals don’t care. When you need to piss,” she added, “you tell me.”

“Okay. Why?”

“Because most tourists who get rolled, get rolled when they go into the alleys to relieve themselves. Wake up an hour later in Pirate’s Alley with a sore head and an empty wallet.”

“I’ll bear that in mind.”

She pointed to an alley as we passed it, foggy and deserted. “Don’t go there,” she said.

The place we wound up in was a bar with tables. A TV on above the bar showed the Tonight Show with the sound off and subtitles on, although the subtitles kept scrambling into numbers and fractions. We ordered the gumbo, a bowl each.

I was expecting more from the best gumbo in New Orleans. It was almost tasteless. Still, I spooned it down, knowing that I needed food, that I had had nothing to eat that day.

Three men came into the bar. One sidled, one strutted, one shambled. The sidler was dressed like a Victorian undertaker, high top hat and all. His skin was fishbelly pale; his hair was long and stringy; his beard was long and threaded with silver beads. The strutter was dressed in a long black leather coat, dark clothes underneath. His skin was very black. The last one, the shambler, hung back, waiting by the door. I could not see much of his face, nor decode his race: what I could see of his skin was a dirty gray. His lank hair hung over his face. He made my skin crawl.

The first two men made straight to our table, and I was, momentarily, scared for my skin, but they paid no attention to me. They looked at the woman with the red ribbon, and both of the men kissed her on the cheek. They asked about friends they had not seen, about who did what to whom in which bar and why. They reminded me of the fox and the cat from Pinocchio.

“What happened to your pretty girlfriend?” the woman asked the black man.

He smiled, without humor. “She put a squirrel tail on my family tomb.”

She pursed her lips. “Then you better off without her.”

“That’s what I say.”

I glanced over at the one who gave me the creeps He was a filthy thing, junkie-thin, gray-lipped. His eyes were downcast. He barely moved. I wondered what the three men were doing together: the fox and the cat and the ghost.

Then the white man took the woman’s hand and pressed it to his lips, bowed to her, raised a hand to me, in a mock salute, and the three of them were gone.

“Friends of yours?”

“Bad people,” she said. “Macumba. Not friends of anybody.”

“What was up with the guy by the door? Is he sick?”

She hesitated, then shook her head. “Not really. I’ll tell you when you’re ready.”

“Tell me now.”

On the TV, Jay Leno was talking to a thin, blonde woman. IT&S NOT .UST T½E MOVIE said the caption. SO H. VE SS YOU SE¾N THE ACT ION F!GURE? He picked up a small toy from his desk, pretended to check under its skirt to make sure it was anatomically correct. [LAUGHTER], said the caption.

She finished her bowl of gumbo, licked the spoon with a red, red tongue, and put it down by the bowl. “A lot of kids they come to New Orleans. Some of them read Anne Rice books and figure they learn about being vampires here. Some of them have abusive parents, some are just bored. Like stray kittens living in drains, they come here. They found a whole new breed of cat living in a drain in New Orleans, you know that?”

“No.”

SLAUGHTER S ] said the caption, but Jay was still grinning, and the Tonight Show went to a car commercial.

“He was one of the street kids, only he had a place to crash at night. Good kid. Hitchhiked from L.A. To New Orleans. Wanted to be left alone to smoke a little weed, listen to his Doors cassettes, study up on Chaos magick and read the complete works of Aleister Crowley. Also get his dick sucked. He wasn’t particular about who did it. Bright eyes and bushy tail.”

“Hey,” I said. “That was Campbell. Going past. Out there.”

“Campbell?”

“My friend.”

“The record producer?” She smiled as she said it, and I thought, She knows. She knows he was lying. She knows what he is.

I put down a twenty and a ten on the table, and we went out onto the street, to find him, but he was already gone.

“I thought he was with your sister,” I told her.

“No sister,” she said. “No sister. Only me. Only me.”

We turned a corner and were engulfed by a crowd of noisy tourists, like a sudden breaker crashing onto the shore. Then, as fast as they had come, they were gone, leaving only a handful of people behind them. A teenaged girl was throwing up in a gutter, a young man nervously standing near her, holding her purse and a plastic cup half full of booze.

The woman with the red ribbon in her hair was gone. I wished I had made a note of her name, or the name of the bar in which I’d met her.

I had intended to leave that night, to take the interstate west to Houston and from there to Mexico, but I was tired and two-thirds drunk, and instead I went back to my room, and when the morning came I was still in the Marriott. Everything I had worn the night before smelled of perfume and rot.

I put on my T-shirt and pants, went down to the hotel gift shop, picked out a couple more T-shirts and a pair of shorts. The tall woman, the one without the bicycle, was in there, buying some Alka-Seltzer.

She said, “They’ve moved your presentation. It’s now in the Audubon Room, in about twenty minutes. You might want to clean your teeth first. Your best friends won’t tell you, but I hardly know you, Mister Anderton, so I don’t mind telling you at all.”

I added a traveling toothbrush and toothpaste to the stuff I was buying. Adding to my possessions, though, troubled me. I felt I should be shedding them. I needed to be transparent, to have nothing.

I went up to the room, cleaned my teeth, put on the Jazz Festival T-shirt. And then, because I had no choice in the matter, or because I was doomed to confer, consult, and otherwise hobnob, or because I was pretty certain Campbell would be in the audience and I wanted to say good-bye to him before I drove away, I picked up the type-script and went down to the Audubon Room, where fifteen people were waiting. Campbell was not one of them.

I was not scared. I said hello, and I looked up at the top of page one.

It began with another quote from Zora Neale Hurston:

Big Zombies who come in the night to do malice are talked about. Also the little girl Zombies who are sent out by their owners in the dark dawn to sell little packets of roasted coffee. Before sun-up their cries of ’Café Grillé’ can be heard from dark places in the streets and one can only see them if one calls out for the seller to come with the goods. Then the little dead one makes herself visible and mounts the steps.

Anderton continued on from there, with quotations from Hurston’s contemporaries, several extracts from old interviews with older Haitians, the man’s paper leaping, as far as I was able to tell, from conclusion to conclusion, spinning fancies into guesses and suppositions and weaving those into facts.

Halfway through, Margaret, the tall without the bicycle, came in and simply stared at me. I thought, She knows I’m not him. She knows. I kept reading though. What else could I do?

At the end, I asked for questions.

Somebody asked me about Zora Neale Hurston’s research practices. I said that was a very good question, which was addressed at greater length in the finished paper, of which what I had read was essentially an edited abstract.

Someone else, a short, plump woman, stood up and announced that the zombie girls could not have existed: Zombie drugs and powders numbed you, induced deathlike trances, but still worked fundamentally on belief?the belief that you were now one of the dead and had no will of your own. How, she asked, could a child of four or five be induced to believe such a thing? No. The coffee girls were, she said, one with the Indian Rope Trick, just another of the urban legends of the past.

Personally I agreed with her, but I nodded and said that her points were well made and well taken. And that, from my perspective?which was, I hoped, a genuinely anthropological perspective?what mattered was not what it was easy to believe, but, much more importantly, the truth.

They applauded, and afterward a man with a beard asked me whether he might be able to get a copy of the paper for a journal he edited. It occurred to me that it was a good thing I had come to New Orleans, that Anderton’s career would not be harmed by his absence from the conference.

The plump woman, whose badge said her name was Shanelle Gravely-King, was waiting for me at the door. She said, “I really enjoyed that. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t.”

Campbell didn’t turn up for his presentation. Nobody ever saw him again.

Margaret introduced me to someone from New York, and mentioned that Zora Neal Hurston had worked on The Great Gatsby. The man said yes, that was pretty common knowledge these days. I wondered if she had called the police, but she seemed friendly enough. I was starting to stress, I realized. I wished I had not thrown away my cell phone.

Shanelle Gravely-King and I had an early dinner in the hotel, at the beginning of which I sad, “Oh, let’s not talk shop,” and she agreed that only the very dull talked shop at the table, so we talked about rock bands we had seen live, fictional methods of slowing the decomposition of a human body, and about her partner, who was a woman older than she was and who owned a restaurant, and then we went up to my room, and her naked skin was clammy against mine.

Over the next couple of hours I used two of the three condoms. She was sleeping by the time I returned from the bathroom, and I climbed into the bed next to her. I thought about the words Anderton had written, hand-scrawled on the back of the typescript page, and I wanted to check them, but I fell asleep, a soft-fleshed jasmine-scented woman pressing close to me.

After midnight I woke from a dream, and a woman’s voice was whispering in the darkness.

She said, “So he came into town, with his Doors cassettes and his Crowley books, and his handwritten list of the secret URLs for Chaos magick on the Web, and everything was good, he even got a few disciples, runaways like him, and he got his dick sucked whenever he wanted, and the world was good.

“And then he started to believe his own press. He thought he was the real thing. That he was the dude. He thought he was a big mean tiger cat, not a little kitten. So he dug up… something… someone else wanted.

“He thought the something he dug up would look after him. Silly boy. And that night, he’s sitting in Jackson Square, talking to the Tarot readers, telling them about Jim Morrison and the kabbalah, and someone taps him on the shoulder, and he turns, and someone blows powder into his face, and he breathes it in.

“Not all of it. And he is going to do something about it, when he realizes there’s nothing to be done, because he’s all paralyzed, there’s fugu fish and toad skin and ground bone and everything else in that powder, and he’s breathed it in.

“They take him down to emergency, where they don’t do much for him, figuring him for a street rat with a drug problem, and by the next day he can move again, although it’s two, three days until he can speak.

“Trouble is, he needs it. He wants it. He knows there’s some big secret in the zombie powder, and he was almost there. Some people say they mixed heroin with it, some shit like that, but they didn’t even need to do that. He wants it.

“And they told him they wouldn’t sell it to him. But if he did jobs for them, they’d give him a little zombie powder, to smoke, to sniff, to rub on his gums, to swallow. Sometimes they’d give him nasty jobs to do no one else wanted. Sometimes they just humiliate him because they could—make him eat dog shit from the gutter, maybe. Kill for them, maybe. Anything but die. All skin and bones. He do anything for his zombie powder.

“And he still thinks, in the little bit of his head that’s still him, that he’s not a zombie. That he’s not dead, that there’s a threshold he hasn’t stepped over. But he crossed it long time ago.”

I reached out a hand, and touched her. Her body was hard, and slim, and lithe, and her breasts felt like breasts that Gauguin might have painted. Her mouth, in the darkness, was soft and warm against mine.

People come into your life for a reason.

 


4. “Those people ought to know who we are and tell that we are here”

When I woke, it was still almost dark, and the room was silent. I turned on the light, looked on the pillow for a ribbon, white or red, or for a mouse-skull earring, but there was nothing to show that there had ever been anyone in the bed that night but me.

I got out of the bed and pulled open the drapes, looked out of the window. The sky was graying in the east.

I thought about moving south, about continuing to run, continuing to pretend I was alive. But it was, I knew now, much too late for that. There are doors, after all, between the living and the dead, and they swing in both directions.

I had come as far as I could.

There was a faint tap-tapping on the hotel room door. I pulled on my pants and the T-shirt I had set out in and, barefoot, I pulled the door open.

The coffee girl was waiting for me.

Everything beyond the door was touched with light, and open, wonderful predawn light, and I heard the sound of birds calling on the morning air. The street was on a hill, and the houses facing me were little more than shanties. There was mist in the air, low to the ground, curling like something from an old black-and-white film, but it would be gone by noon.

The girl was thin and small; she did not appear to be more than six years old. Her eyes were cobwebbed with what might have been cataracts, her skin was as gray as it had once been brown. She was holding a white hotel cup out to me, holding it carefully, with one small hand on the handle, one hand beneath the saucer. It was half-filled with a steaming mud-colored liquid.

I bent to take I from her, and I sipped it. It was a very bitter drink, and it was hot, and it woke me the rest of the way.

I said, “Thank you.”

Someone, somewhere, was calling my name.

The girl waited, patiently, while I finished the coffee. I put the cup down on the carpet, then I put out my hand and touched her shoulder.

She reached up her hand, spread her small gray fingers, and took hold of my hand. She knew I was with her. Wherever we were headed now, we were going there together.

I remembered something somebody had once said to me. “It’s okay. Every day is freshly ground,” I told her.

The coffee girl’s expression did not change, but she nodded, as if she had heard me, and gave my arm an impatient tug. She held my hand tight with her cold cold fingers, and we walked, finally, side by side into the misty dawn.

 

Copyright © 2006 Neil Gaimain
Art copyright © 2010 Rick Berry, Neil Gaiman, and Ekaterina Slepicka
Originally published on Tor.com in September 2010, as part of Zombie Week.

Absinthe with the Devil: “Enoch Soames” is the Best Story You’ve Never Read

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Remember the nineties? Remember how we wanted to be writers, and painters and filmmakers, musicians—wanted it so badly like an anguished constant hunger? And maybe it was the eighties or the aughts but you remember what it was like, don’t you? Desperate to know if we had “talent,” aching for just an atom of recognition.

And then as that first decade of adulthood plays out a few people you know start to get somewhere; the book deal, the column, the attention. And then some don’t, and the differences become more and more obvious, it cuts like broken glass and nobody wants to talk about it but talking about it is what gives the farce of “Enoch Soames: a Memory of the Eighteen-Nineties” its glass-sharp edge, its twist of the knife.

Enoch Soames is—you know it’s coming—the best science fiction story you’ve never read. It was published in 1916, early 20th century Golden Age of British science fiction and fantasy, a moment (not so different from right now) when genre was a place where literary writers went to play and genre writers brought their A game and there wasn’t quite so much fuss about the distinction—writers like H. G. Wells and G. K. Chesterton and Max Beerbohm.

Enoch Soames is a hundred years old but doesn’t read like it—it’s all about ambition, all about vanity and what it takes to make art, and in all these things it hasn’t dated a second. I should mention it features both time travel and a pact with the Devil, so if that doesn’t get you at least a little intrigued then I’m saddened. And also—should we meet later on—there is no reason for us to become further acquainted.

Beerbohm’s recollection starts in 1893 at Oxford (throughout he is clear with us that this is not a story but a personal recollection and a factual account. Which of course it is). This is the moment Beerbohm gets his very first taste of the kind of life he wants, when a glamorous young upstart painter visits the campus, full of promise and charisma. They become friends and Beerbohm is taken up to bohemian London—a would-be writer, of course.

That’s where he meets Enoch Soames. Beerbohm sketches with merciless precision what we recognize as a hipster of the day. “He wore a soft black hat of clerical kind, but of Bohemian intention, and a gray waterproof cape which, perhaps because it was waterproof, failed to be romantic.” He’s written a book of poetry called Negations, he preens himself on being a “diabolist.” He drinks absinthe because of course he does.

(Sidebar: I wish I could tell you that in the nineties I never wore an outfit as stupid as Soames’s. I wish I never tried to drink absinthe for effect. I wish a lot of things.)

Beerbohm is equally precise about what happens over the next three years, as he rises in the world. He parses for us the exact millimeter-level changes in status that mark him for success:

“I was a—slight, but definite—‘personality.’ Frank Harris had engaged me to kick up my heels in ‘The Saturday Review,’ Alfred Harmsworth was letting me do likewise in ‘The Daily Mail.’” He renders exactly the tone of the young literary man unable to repress the smugness of early success—he stops barely short of letting you know he’s “kind of a big deal.”

Meanwhile, Soames is sinking, disappearing even from his momentary fractional elevation on the scene. His odd little books are ignored. He used to drink absinthe for show; now he just drinks it. “Sinking” is too kind a word: he’s drowning. It’s the unspeakable time we remember so keenly; the slow recognition that by this time some of one’s contemporaries are marked to move upwards; others are not. (If this time is still ahead of you in your life, well, bonne chance as Soames might say.)

Beerbohm and his chums avoid Soames and snicker behind his back but he’s honest enough to admit a little discomfort—the ineradicable truth that there’s something very slightly vulgar about success, and an inevitable portion of dignity in failure. He avoids Soames because “I was just what Soames wasn’t. And he shamed my gloss.”

It’s something, at least that Soames keeps a little pride, his faux-intellectual swagger—“he kept his dingy little flag flying.” But finally even that pride fades, if it was there at all—perhaps “Soames’s dignity was an illusion of mine. One day, in the first week of June, 1897, that illusion went. But on the evening of that day Soames went, too.”

Soames’s doom arrives. Beerbohm comes on him in a dingy restaurant and there they meet a stranger—tall, black hair, close-set eyes, something a little off about that scarlet waistcoat. The Devil, of course—and the self-proclaimed “diabolist” has met up with the real thing. Soames makes his deal in a flash of his old arrogance: He will travel a hundred years forward in time and sees what posterity has made of him. He does it; he returns to the present and departs to serve his sentence—I won’t spoil that scene, but you won’t see a better final exit from an innately ridiculous character.

And as for what he found in that strange dystopia of 1997, well… before pitching this story I searched for his name on Tor.com and got a single perfect result: “Enoch Soames, a character from a Max Beerbohm story. I have no idea who that is.” Let that stand.

I’m spoiling some of Enoch Soames here, but only because I’m not giving away all the good parts and because more than half the reason to read it is Beerbohm’s wit on the page and the way he anatomizes tiny details of status and posturing, the minutia of social interactions among the young and full of themselves.

Reading it is pure pleasure but however lovely it feels to idle in 1890s Bohemia and Max Beerbohm’s wit and invention, this is a hilarious and bruisingly accurate portrait of the bloodsport of art and ambition; the truth, now just as then, that the mass of its practitioners are invisibly eating their hearts out at least part of the time, and the only difference is that Soames isn’t checking Instagram. The day I quit pushing this story is the day I read anything remotely as good from the writers of the present day or the moment I quit eating my own heart out just as Soames did.

A coda: it happens that Max Beerbohm’s account is very specific about where and when Soames goes to when he travels: his destination is the reading room of the British Museum in London, England on June 3, 1997, 2:10pm in the afternoon. The story has enough of a following that a dozen or so pilgrims made the trip to meet him there. We are told that Enoch Soames did arrive and looked exactly as described – a tall pale figure, wispy facial hair, black clerical hat and grey cape, somewhat ridiculous. He proceeded to the card catalogue, and then the relevant reference volume. He left the reading room and vanished without a trace. The magician Teller happened to witness the event in question but maybe that was just a coincidence.

The lesson is—well, there are several. That writers are not always pretty creatures, and art is not always a pretty game. And for those in that particular line, the Devil may be watching you with special attention, looking for that breaking point when you forget why you started doing this in the first place, and you just want some fucking attention after all, after all this work, just for once in your life, and why can’t it be now?

It’s better to know the Devil for what he is. Remember what happened to Enoch Soames.

Austin Grossman is a novelist and game designer.  His novels include Soon I Will Be InvincibleYOU: a novel, and Crooked. He’s working on something new. Sometimes he’s on Twitter.

The Candy of Friendship: When Kids Befriend the Unknown With Treats

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Stranger Things, Halloween

It’s Halloween, which means that children and adults alike are going to load up on their high fructose corn syrup quotient for the year. But candy isn’t just delicious—it’s also a powerful manner of bonding with creatures and people you might not otherwise meet. Kids instinctively understand this… which is why some of the most moving friendships in SFF have been made over a shared love of sweet stuff.

Here are some of the greatest of those friendships.

 

Sloth and Chunk (The Goonies)
Treat of Choice: Baby Ruth

Sloth and Chunk, The Goonies

Being a Goonie isn’t easy, particularly when your friends’ shenanigans really aren’t your speed. Lawrence Cohen (nicknamed “Chunk” by his pals) has this problem in spades—his first instinct when stuck in the hideout of a homicidal crime family is to raid their ice cream freezer. Chunk clearly enjoys most sweets, but it’s the Baby Ruth he’s carrying in his pocket that leads to a friendship that literally saves his life. Sloth is a member of the Fratelli family, but he’s kept like an animal chained to the wall. When he finds out that Chunk has a Baby Ruth on him, he breaks his chains to get his hands on the candy bar, and becomes fast friends with his captured cellmate. They go on to rescue Chunk’s friends, confront the Fratelli family, and save the town from becoming a country club. Chunk then tells Sloth that he’ll be coming to live with his family, where he’ll be loved and cared for. All because they both happen to love peanuts and caramel coated in chocolate.

 

WALL-E and Hal (WALL-E)
Treat of Choice: Twinkies

WALL-E and Hal

In a future where humanity has abandoned its trash-covered home planet, WALL-E lives alone, compacting the garbage and arranging it into towers for incineration. (While not a kid, WALL-E does display a certain childlike wonder and lack of experience, so he totally counts here.) He doesn’t know that his primary purpose is out of date, that no one is coming back to recolonize the planet and thank him for all his hard work. But he does have one friend—a coackroach that’s survived the trash-pocalypse, and might be the only living creature left on earth. WALL-E’s roach friend (whose name happens to be Hal, a reference to both the film’s producer and to HAL 9000) can’t subsist on the usual trash that WALL-E is compacting, so our robot hero makes sure to have treats handy, providing a twinkie for his pal to burrow in while he sorts his own collection of oddities on that truck he calls home.

 

Harry and Ron (Potter Series)
Treat of Choice: Wizard Sweets

Harry and Ron, Hogwarts Express, candy

The beginning of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley’s friendship starts sweetly over a pile of wizard candy. Harry is an orphan who was mistreated by his family, so he never really got to enjoy frivolous things like sweets; Ron’s family is quite poor, so he is not accustomed to bounty. But Harry has recently learned that he has a fair bit of wizard money inherited from his family, so he walks onto the Hogwarts Express with enough pocket change to get a bit of everything on the train trolley. He shares the pile with his compartment-mate, instantly ingratiating himself to Ron and learning a great deal about wizard culture in the process (the jumping chocolate frogs, the every flavor beans, collectable cards with pictures that move). Candy is an easy way of making the introduction, and Harry and Ron are basically inseparable from then on. Years later, Harry’s son Albus becomes friends with Scorpius Malfoy for the same reason—Scorpius comes with a lot of sweets in his pockets and insists that they share.

 

E.T. and Elliott (E.T. the Extraterrestrial)
Treat of Choice: Reese’s Pieces

ET, Elliott, Reese's Pieces

Perhaps the most famous instance of bonding over candy, E.T. and Elliott’s love of Reese’s Pieces. It’s not just the shared love of a tasty treat, though—that bit of movie magic has a history that fans love to cackle over. Originally, Steven Spielberg had planned to use M&Ms in the movie, but Mars wasn’t having it. So the studio went to Hershey instead and got permission to use the peanut butter candies, leading to a 65% uptick in sales for the candy company after the movie hit big. That little alien and his small human friend had power, y’all. Everyone needed to understand how these brown, yellow, and orange morsels cemented a friendship so seismic that hurting one of the pair caused the other physical pain. Always share your Reese’s Pieces, is the moral of the story. That, and make certain that you have a basket on your bike for small passengers.

 

The Eleventh Doctor and Amelia Pond (Doctor Who)
Treat of Choice: Fish Fingers and Custard

The Doctor, Amy Pond, fish fingers and custard

Speaking of befriending aliens, little Amelia Pond made a rather large one when he crashed a blue box in her backyard and told her he had a craving for apples. She proceeded to let said alien into her kitchen and made him a veritable feast of foods that he vetoed in disgust one by one, until he came across the perfect pairing—fish fingers and custard. The two of them noshed together, and Amy Pond imprinted on the newly minted Eleventh Doctor so strongly that he refused to leave her behind… even after mucking everything up so badly that he returned to her home years after the mere five minutes he promised to be gone. This feeling of belonging to that little girl who fed him upon regeneration remained with him until the very end, long after she was trapped in an unreachable area of the time stream by some nasty Weeping Angels. Sharing your fish and custard with floppy-haired weirdos is a must if you plan to make alien friends.

 

Lilo and Stitch (Lilo & Stitch)
Treat of Choice: Cake and Shave Ice

 

Experiment 626 was designed to create chaos and destruction wherever he went. So when he was adopted by a little girl named Lilo and renamed Stitch, it was understandably difficult for him to roll over and play the part of a “good pet.” Still Lilo’s attempts to make him feel at home often revolved around sustenance; she supplies him with a bottle of coffee (which turns out to be a mistake), she takes him out for shave ice (it’s like a snow cone, but way better). But perhaps the most memorable test of Stitch’s palette is when Lilo requests “desserts!” for her troubled dog at her sister Nani’s place of employment. Stitch proceeds to eat both slices of their cake, decides he hates it, then spits them both back up and tries to reassemble them on the plate. Stitch went through a major transformation as a result of his time with Lilo and eventually learned to appreciate the finer things that planet Earth had to offer. By the end montage of the film, we see him baking Lilo a cake that’s big enough to fill their entire oven… so he’s clearly learned to love desserts.

 

Dustin and Dart (Stranger Things)
Treat of Choice: 3 Musketeers

Dustin and Dart, Stranger Things

[Spoilers for Stranger Things Season 2.] A clear homage to E.T., Dustin comes across a funny-looking creature in his trashcan, and decides to adopt it. Not knowing what weird lizard-slugs subsist on, he decides to give the little fella some of his favorite candy, a 3 Musketeers bar. (The candy bar’s quality is disputed amongst Dustin and his friends—Dustin is right, it is delicious.) Taking inspiration from said candy, he names his new friend D’Artagnan, or Dart for short. But Dart quickly outgrows his new surroundings, slurps down the family cat, and makes a great escape from the family cellar. Eventually, Dustin has to own up to the fact that his little pal was a baby demogorgon all along. But Dart doesn’t forget the boy who hand-fed him secretly in a turtle tank… and it turns out that raising a tiny monster can have surprising advantages when the world is seemingly coming to an end.


Sleeps With Monsters: On the Question of Quality

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There’s a comment that anyone who writes articles, columns, or even tweets about representation and inclusion will read eventually. If you write about queer people, if you write about people of colour (not that these groups are separate), or even if you write about women alone. This comment comes in many variations, but it usually comes from self-described straight white (cisgender, though they usually don’t add that part) men.

“But what about the quality?” is what this comment—in essence, over its many variations—boils down to. “When you talk about the books by all these (queer, non-white) people, are you really considering their QUALITY?”

Frequently, one’s interlocutor will frame this interjection as though it is a helpful one. He—sometimes, though more rarely, she—will worry that you are alienating your (presumably straight, white, cis, male) audience by an over-emphasis on representation; will chide that you’re focusing on diversity over the quality of the storytelling, characterisation, plot, ideas.

I’ve had more people than I can count deliver a variation on this theme.

It’s not helpful.

Here’s why.

Let’s take the idea that all people judge on the same criteria of quality. They don’t. Past a certain level of prose and structural competence*, “quality” is a nebulous concept. Books speak to certain people, and don’t speak to others. Their success as a work of art is entirely subjective. As I write this, I am overwhelmingly aware of that fact: I’ve just finished, and been underwhelmed by, a novel by John Crowley. Though pretty at the prose level, it did not speak to me at all.

(*Which, to be fair, is not always found in the small press romance offerings where traditionally one has been most likely to find queer protagonists. As an aside: there is a whole other discussion to be had about that, and the pattern of pigeonholing queer books as romances, too.)

But there’s something that happens with people who’re used to being catered to. Men in particular, but white women (I speak as one) too. When things have usually been FOR you, it’s easy to forget that things being for OTHER PEOPLE TOO doesn’t take anything away from you.

But I want to circle back to the question of quality, the subjectivity of it. There’s an implication that’s plain in the question “But what about the quality?” when you ask it of inclusive books, queer books, books that centre people of colour. An implication, and an assumption.

The assumption that LBGTQ+ works (for example) are poorly written. And that these works are only under discussion because of the identity (identities) of their protagonists, or of their authors.

This is an implication that we frequently encounter with straight cis white men who have found their narrative centrality challenged. The implication that certain books are only discussed or valued because of politics and identity. Not because of their focus and their quality, but because of “identity politics” alone.

We have seen this before in, for example, discussions of recent award lists, particularly the nominations and wins of Ann Leckie and N.K. Jemisin.

It is a pernicious implication. It is also an insulting one. It conflates queerness (and/or non-whiteness) with… well, badness. It implies that works that feature (queer) protagonists (of colour) require special pleading. This implication, this assumption (which at times rises to automatic dismissal) is prejudice in action.

Are books by cis white heterosexual men only valued because of who wrote them? Because of who they’re about? Their politics, their worldview? Are they “quality”?

Are they routinely asked to justify themselves in the same way? Or are they generally assumed to be the default from which all else, instead, must justify its deviation?

I wrote a column in September about the utter shock of feeling catered to, of feeling seen, of feeling centred in books as a queer person. It was a shock that brought home to me that this is how straight white cis men can rely on feeling when they come to a narrative. After a lifetime like that, it must be disconcerting to experience narratives in which you are present but not central.

It must be alienating to come to narratives where you are an afterthought, or not there at all.

Sit with that for a minute. Just sit with it.

I’m not judging you. Not for having this experience, not for feeling these feelings. But sit with that for a minute, and then ask yourself: what are you really asking for, when you ask about “quality” according to your standards? What are you really trying to say?

Then tell me if you still want to say it.

Postscript: Let us also address in passing the frequent assumption that the white cisgender heterosexual man is a highly attractive audience. Sure, he’s likely to have disposable income, but women read significantly more than men, and according to at least one Pew Research Centre study, in the USA, college-educated black women read more than anyone else on a per-capita basis. I have no access to any data that would suggest that inclusion and representation are likely to alienate more people than they attract, among the people who comprise the majority of the Anglophone book-buying public. (If there have been any studies or surveys done on this issue, please bring them to my attention. It would be useful data.) White straight cis men are an audience, it’s true. But they’re not all the audience there is: they’re not even the biggest audience.

Liz Bourke is a cranky queer person who reads books. She holds a Ph.D in Classics from Trinity College, Dublin. Her first book, Sleeping With Monsters, a collection of reviews and criticism, is out now from Aqueduct Press. Find her at her blog, where she’s been known to talk about even more books thanks to her Patreon supporters. Or find her at her Twitter. She supports the work of the Irish Refugee Council and the Abortion Rights Campaign.

Mime from Hell — The Crow, The Crow: City of Angels, The Crow: Salvation, and The Crow: Wicked Prayer

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James O’Barr’s black-and-white comic book The Crow was one of the great success stories of the indie comics market of the 1980s and 1990s. A touchstone for Goth culture, the four-part miniseries—originally written as a way for O’Barr to work through the death of his girlfriend at the hands of a drunk driver—was a massive hit for Caliber Comics, and it spawned an impressive collection of spinoffs in comics, prose, and screen form.

The comics continued to be published by a variety of publishers, most recently IDW, while a few novels and a short story anthology were also put out. When the film rights were sold, Alex Proyas, who had directed many music videos, shorts, and an independent science fiction feature, was tapped to direct.

The first film gained a particular notoriety due to its star, Brandon Lee (son of Bruce Lee), dying during filming. (His father also died while making a film, though the elder Lee died of a cerebral edema.) With only three days of filming left, Lee was shot by an improperly maintained prop gun loaded with blanks.

Several scenes were rewritten and reshot (the new rewrite was uncredited, but performed by Law & Order staffers Walon Green, René Balcer, and Michael S. Chernuchin), using Lee’s stunt double and computer trickery.

Rather than re-cast the role for the sequel, City of Angels, they decided to make the new film with a different person being resurrected by a crow to avenge his own death. Vincent Pérez was cast in the role, though early drafts of the script had a female Crow and also brought back Top Dollar, the bad guy from the first film. Director Tim Pope and writer David Goyer dropped both those elements, bringing in a new bad guy and having a male Crow.

This template was followed for the other two sequels, which were direct-to-video, Salvation and Wicked Prayer, with, respectively, Eric Mabius and Edward Furlong in the title roles. Each film has had a director with minimal feature film experience prior to helming a Crow movie: Proyas and Pope both got started in music videos, while Salvation‘s Bharat Nalluri has mostly directed television, while Wicked Prayer‘s Lance Mungia had just directed two independent projects. (Wicked Prayer is also that rare beast, a movie based on a tie-in novel, as the film was adapted from a Crow novel by Norman Partridge.)

There was also a television series, subtitled Stairway to Heaven, starring Mark Dacascos, which aired on Canadian TV in the 1998 season. That series was a direct spinoff of the first movie, with Dacascos playing Eric Draven.

 

“Caw-caw! Bang! Fuck, I’m dead!”

The Crow
Written by David J. Schow and John Shirley
Directed by Alex Proyas
Produced by Edward R. Pressman and Jeff Most
Original release date: May 13, 1994

It’s “devil’s night,” the 30th of October, when tons of arsons tend to happen in downtown Detroit. On top of that, we’ve got a double murder, as an apartment was broken into and trashed, its two occupants killed. The couple was about to be married the next day on Hallowe’en. Shelly Webster was assaulted, raped, and stabbed, and is taken to the hospital. Her fiancé Eric Draven was shot and stabbed and thrown out the window. Draven is DOA, while Webster hangs on for 30 hours in the hospital before she dies.

One year later, a crow lands on Draven’s grave and he then crawls out of it. He returns to his apartment, which inexplicably still has crime-scene tape on it. Nobody has touched a thing—the window’s even still broken. And their cat is still there, perfectly healthy, er, somehow. Draven puts white-face mime makeup on his face, and also has flashbacks to the attack. Four guys—T-Bird, Tin Tin, Funboy, and Skank—broke in, assaulted Webster and trashed the apartment. When Draven came home to this, Tin Tin stabbed him and Funboy shot him, with Skank throwing him out the window.

Webster galvanized the tenants of the building to sign a petition, which pissed off Top Dollar, the immaculately coiffed gangster who apparently owns the building. T-Bird’s gang works for him, and they were tasked with scaring her off the petition. It got out of hand when Draven showed up.

Funboy is sleeping with a waitress named Darla, who also is the mother of Sarah. Darla is a sufficiently awful mother that Sarah spent most of her time with Webster and Draven—at least until they died. Sergeant Albrecht—the first uniform on the scene of the double murder—keeps an eye on Sarah.

Tin Tin sells some stolen merchandise at Gideon’s Pawn Shop, then is attacked by Draven, who cannot be permanently harmed or killed. Every wound heals instantly. Tin Tin finds this out the hard way, and then is on the receiving end of every knife he threw at Draven. After drawing an image of a crow in blood near Tin Tin’s corpse, he goes to Gideon’s. Once he locates the engagement ring that T-Bird’s gang pawned after taking it from their apartment, he beats up Gideon and stabs him in the hand, tells him to tell the rest of T-Bird’s gang that death is coming for them, then torches the shop. Albrecht sees him, but is distracted by looters of the pawn shop, and so Draven gets away.

Draven’s next target is Funboy, whom he finds shtupping Sarah’s mother. Funboy shoots him in the hand, which heals instantly; Draven shoots Funboy in the knee, which doesn’t. Before he passes out, he laments that the sheets are stained. After scaring Darla straight, Draven injects several of the needles in the apartment into Funboy’s chest, and he dies of an overdose.

Gideon is brought to Top Dollar, who is skeptical of his story of a clown-faced immortal ghost, and so stabs him in the throat. His right-hand/lover Myca is intrigued, however.

Draven visits Albrecht at home to get the full story of the murder. A former detective, he was demoted to a beat cop due to politics. (As he puts it to one detective, he lost his gold shield because he wasn’t a big enough asshole.) He also stayed with Webster in the hospital until she died. Draven receives that memory when he touches Albrecht, and it just reinforces his desire to seek out vengeance.

Draven also saves Sarah from being run down by a cab, and Sarah recognizes him, but he disappears before she can talk to him in depth.

Next on the hit parade is T-Bird, who is getting supplies with Skank. Draven kidnaps T-Bird in his muscle car (also a T-Bird) and drives him to the pier. A cop car and Skank (the latter having carjacked someone who had just run him over) give chase through the unrealistically empty streets, but they crash into each other, leaving Draven to take T-Bird to the pier, tie him to the driver’s seat, and set off all the explosives he had for his arson habit in the trunk. They can only identify T-Bird from dental records. Draven also pours gas on the ground in a pattern that allows him to light a fire in the shape of a crow.

Skank, badly hurt from vehicular assault by both his carjacking victim and the police, goes to Top Dollar, scared shitless. Top Dollar’s lieutenant, Grange, has gone to Draven’s grave and found it dug up and opened. (Nobody’s done anything about that? Who’s caretaking this cemetery????) Top Dollar brings Skank to his summit meeting, which T-Bird normally attends. Draven shows up as well, saying he only wants Skank. Top Dollar refuses to turn him over and he orders his people to all shoot Draven. This proves to be a spectacularly bad career move, as they do shoot him, but he doesn’t stay dead, whereas when Draven attacks them, they all die—including Skank, whom he throws out a window.

Draven finds Sarah at Webster’s grave. He gives her his necklace. Shortly thereafter, Top Dollar kidnaps her and takes her to a church. (He probably knew of her connection to Draven from Funboy’s dalliance with Darla.)

Sure enough, Draven comes to her rescue, but at Myca’s urging, Grange shoots the crow that follows Draven everywhere, and with the crow wounded, Draven no longer can heal himself. However, Albrecht shows up, and lots of gunplay ensues. Grange is killed, Albrecht is wounded. Myca grabs the wounded crow, but before she can claim its power for herself, the bird pecks her eyes out and kills her. Draven and Top Dollar confront each other on the church roof in the rain. While Draven is weakened by the crow being wounded, he is able to convey memories with a touch, and he gives Top Dollar Albrecht’s memories of the thirty hours of pain Webster suffered before she died. Then Draven tosses Top Dollar over the side and he is impaled on a gargoyle.

Draven is able to go to his final rest with Webster, and lives happily ever after. Or something. Albrecht is still wounded and suspended, and Sarah still lives with a junkie, but hey, at least Top Dollar’s entire organization is trashed, which should make the city safe for a while…

 

“A murder of crows—think about it.”

The Crow: City of Angels
Written by David S. Goyer
Directed by Tim Pope
Produced by Edward R. Pressman and Jeff Most
Original release date: August 30, 1996

Sarah is all grow’d up now, and has moved to Los Angeles, where she works as a tattoo artist. She also paints, and there’s a giant painting in her unrealistically large apartment that looks like Draven holding the dead Webster in his arms.

Sarah has a nightmare about a man and his son being shot and killed. Sure enough, Ashe Corven and his son Danny witnessed a murder committed by four people who work for Judah Earl, a drug kingpin. That quartet—Curve, Nemo, Spider-Monkey, and Kali—then kill Corven and Danny and toss their bodies into the river.

A crow shows up at Sarah’s place. She follows it to the pier where Corven comes out of the water, back from the dead. Recognizing what’s happening, Sarah leads a very confused Corven back to her apartment, where she paints the mime makeup on his face and gives him a duster so he looks appropriately Crow-ish. Corven wails and screams and gesticulates a lot, then he gets on a motorcycle and drives off to get his revenge.

First victim is Spider-Monkey. Corven gets the names of all the killers from him, then blows him up along with one of Earl’s drug labs. When Curve reports this to Earl, the latter is much more concerned about the lab. Earl has a woman named Sybil working for him who can see the future.

Corven’s next target is Nemo, who loves to spend his leisure time at a peep show. He jerks off to a woman, but his time elapses before he can finish off, so he struggles to get out another token. But after he inserts it, the window opens to reveal, not the woman, but Corven, who breaks through the glass and kills him, poking his eyes out. Before dying, Nemo insisted that they were acting under Earl’s orders and had no choice. Corven leaves a piece of origami shaped like a crow in Nemo’s mouth and then departs.

Sarah gave Curve a tattoo in the shape of a crow, and Earl thinks she may be connected to Corven, which Sybil confirms. Curve and Kali torture Sarah’s boss to get the location of her apartment and then they kidnap her. Kali stays behind to confront Corven when he arrives, and they fight. Kali is the one who shot and killed Danny, so Corven draws things out with her, before finally breaking her leg and tossing her out a window. The blood from her head wound forms the shape of a crow, because of course it does.

Even though he knows that Sarah is missing and Kali was in her apartment, Corven decides that her fate is less important than his vengeance, so he tracks Curve to a party and then chases him through the unrealistically empty streets before blowing up his motorcycle with a shotgun and then drowning his wounded self in the river.

The crow then reminds him that Sarah is a prisoner of the boss who ordered his death, so Corven heads to Earl’s skyscraper, which is overlooking a Day of the Dead parade. Corven pushes through the crowd and then climbs the outside of the skyscraper for whatever reason. (I guess going in the front door isn’t cool enough.)

The crow flies into the room where Sarah is being held, and Sarah tries to warn the bird away. Sybil predicted where the crow would be standing, so Earl sets a trap for that spot that cages the crow. Earl then kills the crow and drinks its blood. Corven plummets to the ground, his fall broken by an awning and some flowers.

Earl now has the crow’s powers, and he goes outside and confronts Corven, wrapping a rope around his neck and then hanging him from a lamppost. He’s interrupted by Sarah, who was freed by Sybil. Sarah stabs Earl in the forehead, which saves Corven, but doesn’t kill Earl. Earl stabs Sarah right back, and she collapses. Corven impales Earl on a pipe and then summons a whole bunch of crows, er, somehow, and they get rid of Earl, er, somehow. Sarah also dies in Corven’s arms (looking just like the painting!), and Corven goes to his final rest.

 

“She fought for her life because life is worth living!”

The Crow: Salvation
Written by Chip Johannessen
Directed by Bharat Nalluri
Produced by Edward R. Pressman and Jeff Most
Original release date: January 23, 2000

Alex Corvis has been convicted of murdering his girlfriend, Lauren Randall, by stabbing her 53 times. Corvis has insisted that he’s innocent, but the only person who believes him is his lawyer, Peter Walsh. Certainly the victim’s father, Nathan Randall, and Lauren’s sister Erin believe that Corvis is guilty. Four cops testified against Corvis, as did a witness who saw them fight shortly before she went missing. Corvis insisted a man with a series of scars on his left arm planted the knife that killed her in his truck.

Corvis is put in the electric chair. (Allegedly, this movie takes place in Salt Lake City, though it’s never specified on screen. Utah has never actually used electrocution as a method of capital punishment. By 1980, they mostly had converted to lethal injections, though Utah is also the last state to have allowed death by firing squad.) A lightning strike causes a surge, and the death takes much longer and is much more painful than it usually is. His face is completely burned.

After being taken to the morgue, Corvis is resurrected by a crow. The burns on his face peel off, revealing a face that looks very much like the mime-like makeup of the previous two Crows. His first stop is the police evidence control room, where he finds the knife that killed Lauren, which he takes with him, along with the witness list from the trial.

He pays a visit to Lauren’s grave. Erin shows up also, and she is still convinced that Corvis is guilty. Corvis says he will prove his innocence.

First he talks to the witness, Tommy Leonard, who admits that he only saw the fight, not the murder. The cops told him to testify that he saw the stabbing because Corvis would walk otherwise.

Corvis’s next stop is Dutton, whom he interrupts in the midst of an attempted statutory rape. Corvis shoots him in the head. Another corrupt cop, Madden, goes to a strip joint called the Key Club, which is owned and operated by Madden and the four cops who testified against Corvis. Madden informs the others—Erlich, Toomey, and Roberts—of Dutton’s death.

Erlich is no longer on active duty, as he was shot in the line of duty. Using the psychometry that the Crows sometimes have, Corvis has learned that the quartet of cops kidnapped Lauren and raped her. She fought back and managed to get Erlich’s gun and shoot him in the foot. Angered, the cops then stabbed her and set up Corvis.

Corvis kills Erlich by driving his car into a wall. Said car is owned by Erlich but registered to D.E.R.T., a company whose address is the same as that of the Randall family. Corvis shares this with a still-pissed-off Erin, who only very reluctantly looks at the registration card Corvis gives her, and then goes into her father’s files. She soon realizes that D.E.R.T. is in fact owned by her father and the cops who testified against Corvis were working with Randall. Erin now believes that Corvis was set up and her father was involved. Randall tries to deny it, but since he’s played by William Atherton, it’s impossible to believe he’s anything but corrupt and evil, and so he kills himself, possibly goaded on by the captain, who is the ringleader of the corrupt cops.

The witness list (with a bloodstain in the shape of, of course, a crow) was left behind in Erlich’s car, and Toomey and Roberts see it and panic, as they’re the next two names on the list, after the two corpses. They go to Leonard to find out what he said, and throw him out the window and shoot his wife. (It’s unclear what they do, if anything, to their infant son.)

Erin goes to Walsh, only to be kidnapped by the captain and Madden, who also shoot and kill Walsh. However, Walsh has already informed Corvis about some dirt he dug up on D.E.R.T. (ahem), including that they own the Key Club. Corvis goes to the Key Club, where his psychometry reveals that Lauren witnessed our gaggle of corrupt cops killing someone in the club’s back room, which is why she was targeted for kidnapping and rape. Killing her wasn’t part of the original plan, but her shooting Erlich changed things.

Roberts, Toomey, and several cops open fire on Corvis, which naturally does no good whatsoever. Roberts is impaled by a rebar, and everyone else is blown up when Madden shows up and shoots an automatic weapon after Toomey had broken a gas line. (It’s never made clear how Madden survived the explosion.) Among the remains, Corvis finds a left arm with the scar he remembers.

Corvis thinks his work is done, but Erin and Walsh are both missing, so he goes to the captain to find them. However, his powers are failing because he believes his vengeance is complete. The captain takes advantage of this and stabs him 53 times. However, Erin—who has been bound and her mouth sewn shut—manages to get the locket that she and Lauren had matching sets of into the hands of the crow, who drops it next to Corvis. That’s enough to resurrect him again, and he kills Madden and the captain’s secretary. For her part, Erin manages to use a scalpel to stab the captain, cut off her stitches, and shoot the captain in the ear. Corvis notices Walsh’s corpse is missing the left arm, and the captain himself has the scars. Erin and Corvis bring the captain to the prison and break into it, er, somehow, and electrocute him the same way Corvis was electrocuted.

Now Corvis can move on to the afterlife with Lauren. And hey, Erin just inherited a fortune!

 

“Get off me, you damn hallucination!”

The Crow: Wicked Prayer
Written by Lance Mungia and Jeff Most and Sean Hood
Directed by Lance Mungia
Produced by Edward R. Pressman and Jeff Most
Original release date: June 3, 2005

In the mining town of Lake Ravasu, there is constant conflict between the miners and the members of the Raven Aztec tribe, who are building a casino. Jimmy Cuevo has just been paroled; he was imprisoned for beating a young man to death. Said young man was in the midst of raping a woman, but that doesn’t seem to matter as much as the murder. Cuevo is also in love with a Native girl, Lilly Ignites the Dawn. Lilly’s father is the local priest and her brother is the sheriff of the tribal police, and neither of them like or approve of Cuevo.

Four local guys have taken on the personas of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, with an animus against either the Raven Aztecs, the mining company, or both. They’re led by Luc Crash, who fancies himself to be Death. His girlfriend Lola Byrne is part of the crew, too, and they plan to raise Satan.

Cuevo is en route to propose to Lilly. He’s stopped first by the sheriff, who doesn’t want him anywhere near his sister, and then he walks in on Crash and the rest, who have tied her up and cut her eyes out. Byrne now has the gift of prophecy, thanks to taking Lilly’s eyes. Crash cuts Cuevo’s heart out and it dissolves, giving him the power of Satan.

The Horsemen head to a dump, toss the two corpses in an old freezer, toss that into the oily water, and then set it afire. However, Cuevo is resurrected by the crow. He isn’t thrilled with being brought back to life, and even tries to kill himself—which is how he finds out that he can’t be hurt. He leaves Lilly’s body for her brother to find, but the sheriff just thinks that Cuevo is responsible.

Almost reluctantly, Cuevo goes on his mission of vengeance, after burning down his trailer (and leaving his dog homeless, which is just mean), and changing into the outfit he wore for a party at the reservation years ago that looks just like the other stars of the Crow movies!!!! He finds Pestilence in a bar, getting a batch of peyote for Crash and the gang. The gang, meanwhile, has gone off to take vengeance on the priest who killed Crash’s father, and is now atoning for it by being a priest. That same priest’s son is the guy that Cuevo killed. Because Lake Ravasu apparently only has ten people in it.

After killing Pestilence, Cuevo goes to the priest, but Crash is long gone. Cuevo does heal the priest of his gunshot wound, which is enough to keep his wife from shooting their son’s killer, but not enough for her to forgive him. (Not that shooting him would’ve worked, but she doesn’t know that.) Cuevo also steals the hearse that has Lilly’s body and buries it, leaving the coroner on the side of the road.

Cuevo tracks down Crash, Byrne, War, and Famine at the casino. Cuevo kills Famine, but Crash wounds the crow, which leaves Cuevo vulnerable. War shoots him (and most of the casino guests) and they all leave. The sheriff finds Cuevo and thinks he’s responsible for the massacre, but Cuevo is able to touch him and show his memories to reveal what has actually happened.

Crash and Byrne need to perform a ritual involving sacrificing a virgin and getting married and having sex on a burial ground, which will bring Satan to Earth. They have trouble locating a virgin, but they do eventually track one down on the side of the road: the coroner. They go to El Niño, their mentor, to perform the wedding. Byrne was one of Niño’s prostitutes until she ran away, stealing the spellbook they’ve been using from him, but given that Crash is now channeling Satan’s power, Niño is willing to forgive and forget.

He performs the wedding, which ends with Byrne stabbing Crash. He dies, and then is resurrected as Lucifer his own self. Byrne then kills Niño in long-desired revenge.

Lilly’s father and brother and a posse show up, as do Cuevo. Cuevo takes out War, but Lucifer takes out Cuevo, stringing him up and then driving off in the hearse to find a burial ground to have sex on. The priest and sheriff look on in shock, especially when Byrne casually confesses to murdering Lilly. Crash and Byrne must consummate their marriage before sunrise in order for Lucifer to fully manifest. The priest performs the Crow Dance to resurrect the crow and give Cuevo his invulnerability back. Cuevo interrupts Crash and Byrne in mid-coitus to fight.

In the end, Cuevo triumphs, mostly by holding out until sunrise. Cuevo impales Crash on a rock and Lucifer is sent back to hell. The sheriff stops his father from killing Byrne, and instead he arrests her for Lilly’s murder.

Cuevo goes to the afterlife where he finally gets to propose to Lilly and live happily ever after.

 

“Can’t rain all the time.”

There’s an AM radio station here in New York called WINS. Their motto is “You give us 22 minutes, we’ll give you the world.” The first car I owned was a 1977 Ford Pinto, and the FM radio died at some point when I owned it, and so all I had to listen to was AM radio. I tried listening to WINS, figuring I may as well be informed, but doing so, I discovered the implied second part of the slogan: “You give us 44 minutes, we’ll give you the world twice.” Listening to news radio for more than 20 minutes is not a good use of one’s time, as you just get the same stuff over and over again.

Watching the four Crow movies in a row is very much like listening to news radio. The four movies all have basically the same plot, and the variations between them are minor and irrelevant. It’s all the same damn plot: man and person man loves both die at the hands of four people, plus a few extra others. Man comes back as spirit of vengeance thanks to a crow. Man takes super-powered vengeance on the killers, taking them on one at a time, culminating in the big boss. Lather, rinse, repeat.

When I first saw The Crow in the theatre in 1994, I was impressed. I loved the visuals, and I was absorbed by the plot. It helped that it was on a big screen and that it had some excellent talent in supporting roles—Tony Todd, Jon Polito, and especially Ernie Hudson as Albrecht.

When I saw it again on video a few years later, I wondered what I was smoking when I saw it the first time. All I saw was a pretentious piece of claptrap.

And that’s all I saw this time, only it just kept getting worse with each movie. Brandon Lee at least brought a certain energy to the role, but Draven’s love for Webster is just a bunch of quick-cut flashbacks that don’t give enough context. (Some of this is due to Lee’s untimely death, which happened before he could finish filming the scenes with Webster.) The character of Sarah was important in the original (she’s named Sherri in the comics), but she’s utterly superfluous here except as a hostage. Draven’s relationship with Albrecht has more verve, mostly due to Ernie Hudson, who is the movie’s one true saving grace.

City of Angels has no such relief. Vincent Pérez counts on his arm gestures and brooding to do the acting work for him. Corven’s love for his son is much more clear and emotionally binding to the viewer than Draven’s love for Webster was, but the killers are just Top Dollar’s gang only in Los Angeles, down to having an Asian woman as part of the inner circle. Richard Brooks as Earl is a much more interesting villain than Michael Wincott as Top Dollar, but that’s mostly because almost anything would be better than Wincott doing his third-rate Clancy-Brown-as-the-Kurgan act.

Salvation takes a different tack by giving the main character a redemption arc to go with the vengeance arc. Corvis is accused of the murder of his true love, and after suffering capital punishment he comes back to wreak revenge on the real killers. Eric Mabius doesn’t really do the don’t-hate-me-because-I’m-beautiful broody Goth thing the way Lee and Pérez did, and unfortunately, he’s not snarky enough to really embrace the snotty dialogue he’s been given, so his Crow turns out to be kinda lifeless.

The Goth aesthetic is pretty much tossed aside here for a straight-up corrupt-cop storyline. It’s fun to see a younger Walton Goggins and Tim DeKay as two of the corrupt cops. It’s less fun to see Fred Ward and William Atherton in roles that turn out to be bad guys, which is a total non-surprise due to the casting choice. I mean, c’mon, Ward and Atherton aren’t likely to play good guys now, are they? Kirsten Dunst does the best she can given absolutely nothing to work with in a tiresomely generic grieving-sister role—as it is, she’s the only person who manages to get higher billing than the title character. Our villains come across as actual bad guys you’d find in real life, at least. Top Dollar and Judah Earl are the type of gangsters you only actually see in fiction; a real gangster got that weird, he’d probably get his ass shot inside a few weeks. Corrupt cops, though, are a bit more straightforward. Overall, though, the third movie removes what made the first two stand out: the Goth aesthetic, the visuals, and the soundtrack. (Also, D.E.R.T. for the name of an organization that supports dirty cops? Real subtle there, folks…)

Amusingly, I actually liked Cuevo in Wicked Prayer best of the four protagonists. Edward Furlong looked absurd in the mime-from-hell Crow look, but of the four leads, he’s the one who most provided a character. Jimmy Cuevo was a person whom I could identify with and understand and feel sorry for. Part of it is that Cuevo so totally doesn’t want to be a vengeance spirit. He just wants to die, and this stupid crow won’t let him. His reluctance is a nice twist on the story we’ve already gotten way too many times before.

Sadly, the movie around him is a disaster. The script is laughably bad, the plot inane. While Salvation gave us slightly more realistic bad guys, Wicked Prayer goes all the way in the other direction, as the Four Horsemen are ridiculously over the top and absurd. The movie introduces a conflict between miners and Natives that goes precisely nowhere.

David Boreanaz is the type of actor who usually got cast in the title role of a Crow movie. In fact, he was on the tail end of that broody, dark, oh-god-I’m-so-tortured phase that he was starting to age out of on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, and about to transition into his current mode as action/procedural dude on Bones and now Navy SEALs. He chews lots of scenery here, but the role is a dud.

He’s not the only one wasted. While it’s to the filmmakers’ credit that Danny Trejo is not the villain as you’d expect because, well, Danny Trejo, it’s to their lack of credit that his role is so very nowhere. And Dennis Hopper practically is checking his watch while reading his lines wondering when he can go get a drink somewhere. His line readings are that of someone who is slumming and knows it and really just hopes the check clears.

The Crow reminds me of another black-and-white independent comic book, Sin City. The first Sin City miniseries was fantastic, great fun to read. But with each passing miniseries it got less and less interesting, and tremendously repetitive, and it soon became clear that there was only one story to tell, and it was being repeated constantly. (This is also why the second Sin City movie failed.) It’s true with The Crow as well. There’s only so far vengeance will take you, and so many ways you can do it. The first movie, frankly, exhausted most of them—in each case, the punishment fit the crime, as it were, as each death was appropriate to each character’s MO. By hewing so close to a formula (four killers! man must claim vengeance while woman gets to just stay dead! The Crow must blow up a building at some point! a bad guy must be impaled!), the films are straitjacketed.

In the end, if you give The Crow two hours, they’ll give you a stylistic, somewhat dumb story of vengeance and true love. If you give them eight hours, they’ll give you the same stylistic, somewhat dumb story of vengeance and true love four times.

After this little Hallowe’en diversion, we’ll be back in our usual slot on Friday with a look at the first three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies.

Keith R.A. DeCandido wishes everyone a Happy Hallowe’en! He will be the special guest at the Providence Literary Festival in Providence, Kentucky this weekend. Come on by and say hi!

The Medieval Roots of Halloween

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We’ve been knee-deep in pumpkin spice for weeks, now, which means (1) Starbucks may be part of a secret cabal intent on world domination through tasty means, and (2) Halloween is nigh. We all know what Halloween is these days—costumes and candy, pumpkins and fright nights—but that doesn’t mean the holiday makes sense. Sure, it’s fun to play dress-up and eat buckets of candy, but how did such a strange tradition start? Why do we do it on the same day every year? In short, where did this whole Halloween thing come from?

Well, like most awesome things (the medievalist said with all the bias), it begins in the Middle Ages.

How? Let’s start with the word and see: Halloween.

It’s a funny-looking word when you think about it, and it’s been spelled that way since at least 1785, when it appears as such in the poem “Halloween,” by celebrated Scottish poet Robert Burns. Not long before that, though, the word was regularly spelled as Hallowe’en. Part of the reason Halloween looks a bit odd, therefore, is that it is a contraction (like don’t from do not or ’twas from it was). So what letter is missing from Hallowe’en?

We can find the missing bit in any number of places, but let’s go ahead and ride with the Bard. In his 1603 play Measure for Measure, Shakespeare references Halloween by calling it All-Hallond Eve (2.1.30). Our word Halloween, it seems, is multiply contracted: it’s really All-Hallows Evening. Like Christmas Eve, it’s an evening festivity prior to a holiday, which in this case is All Hallows’ Day, November 1.

Good, right? Except now you’re probably wondering what All Hallows’ Day is, and what any of this has to do with costumes. Well, this is where things get gloriously medieval…

"The Forerunners of Christ with Saints and Martyrs" by Fra Angelico (c.1423-4)

“The Forerunners of Christ with Saints and Martyrs” by Fra Angelico (c.1423-4)

Our word hallow comes from the Old English word halga, which means here a holy man—or, to be more precise, a saint. All Hallows’ Day is All Saints’ Day, a day to have a celebratory feast to honor the saints. And, yes, it is on November 1. As the prolific Aelfric of Eynsham says of November in his remarkable Old English grammar around the year 1000: “se monað ongynð on ealra halgena mæssedæg” [the month begins on the day of the mass for All Saints].

There is a reason All Saints’ Day is when it is. Like many other Christian holidays, the day is an attempt to redirect “pagan” beliefs. In this case, All Saints Day sits atop the old Celtic “New Year”—November 1, remember—which in Old Irish is called Samhain (pronounced “sow-in”), which literally translates as “summer’s end.” Samhain sets off three days of celebrations and feasts—because the Irish know how to party, amirite?—that mark the end of the (hopefully successful) harvest and another year passed.

And this is where things get really interesting. Because Samhain is also a festival to honor the dead.

For Celtic celebrants, summer was the “light” part of the year—think life—while winter was the “dark” part of the year—think death. And Samhain sits right there at the point that light turns to darkness, and life turns to death. (In case you’re curious, the holiday at the opposite end of the Celtic calendar was Beltane.) It is no surprise, then, that within this culture Samhain became associated with the “thinning” of the borders between the worlds of the living and the dead. On Samhain, the spirits of the other world were thought to roam more freely, which was a positively frightening prospect.

Luckily, if you disguise yourself as one of these spirits—perhaps even acting out the supernatural—you might be able to prevent them from harming you.

And it works on zombies, too!

And it works on zombies, too!

For obvious reasons, much of this imagery was related to death: skeletons and ghosts, pale faces and big eyes. All the same stuff you see in “Day of the Dead” celebrations, which occurs at the same time in Mexican and some Latin American cultures.

Dia de Muertas.

Dia de Muertos.

Anyway, in 1048 the Christian Church placed All Souls’ Day, the day to pray for the dead, on November 2 (right in the middle of those three days of Samhain). After Purgatory became a thing, prayers for release of the dead from purgation became a regularity, and a tradition soon developed in which children would sing such prayers at the doors to homes in exchange for small cakes (“souls”). Christmas Carols, in other words, but with yummy treats at the end.

Mmmmmm … soul cakes!

Mmmmmm … soul cakes!

The Church succeeded in taking over the name of the holiday and putting a Christian overlay upon it, but cultural practices are much harder to squash. The older Samhain traditions of otherworldly tricksters and disguises persisted and ultimately remain the reason I’ll be dressing up as a barbarian again this year. Rawr.

As it happens, purgatorial prayers are also part of the reason we have jack o’lanterns at Halloween. It was an existing tradition at harvest celebrations to carve vegetables (usually turnips, as it happens) and place lit candles in them. At the same time, the Church would commemorate (or pray for) souls in Purgatory by lighting candles. Wrap it up with Celtic otherworld imagery, and you have that grinning jack o’lantern.

Semi-skeletal, no?

Happy Halloween!

So there you have it. The pumpkin spiced origins of Halloween, a holiday most medieval.

This article was originally published in October 2016 as part of our Medieval Matters series.

Michael Livingston is a Professor of Medieval Culture at The Citadel who has written extensively both on medieval history and on modern medievalism. His historical fantasy trilogy set in Ancient Rome, The Shards of HeavenThe Gates of Hell, and the newly released The Realms of God, is available from Tor Books.

Engineering Mysteries! Murderous AIs! Pirates! Barbary Station by R.E. Stearns

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Let me get this out up front: from the moment back in January 2017 that I first heard about Barbary Station, debut science fiction novel by R.E. Stearns, I knew I wanted to read it. Saga’s Navah Wolfe announced it on Twitter with “lesbian pirates (of colour) vs. murderous AI in SPAAAAAACE”—or words to that effect, and this is a sentiment to conjure my interest. I developed high expectations and much anticipation.

High expectations can be a terrible thing with which to saddle a first novel. But Barbary Station, by and large, managed to live up to mine.

Barbary Station is set in a future where the solar system is being colonised, but for ordinary people, the economic conditions are kind of shit. New engineers graduate into what’s basically indentured servitude, if they can find a job at all. And if you want to stay with your partner, the odds aren’t great you can find a job close together. Not unless you choose a life of crime, anyway.

Iridian and Adda are freshly-graduated engineers, Adda specialising in AI, and Iridian in more mechanical areas. Iridian used to be a soldier: she fought secessionists on behalf of the Near Earth Union. Adda’s less experienced in the wider world, but skilled in her discipline. They’ve hatched a cunning plan to make their fortunes (and not incidentally, stay together): hijacking a colony ship and bringing it, sans safely evacuated passengers, to the famous pirate crew led by Captain Sloane that operates out of Barbary Station—an abandoned, difficult-to-access, former ship-breaking station on the fringes of the solar system. If they impress Captain Sloane, maybe they can win a place on the pirate crew, as well as access to wealth and the security of knowing they can stay together. And Adda’s little brother Pel, now with Sloane’s crew, has all but invited them to come.

The colony ship hijack goes off pretty well. The real trouble starts when they arrive at Barbary Station. The pirate crew aren’t living the high life: they’re squatting in a makeshift habitat attached to the station’s exterior. The station’s AI is violently hostile to anyone inside the station. And there’s no way out: apart from three small ships whose pilots won’t communicate to anyone (or take passengers away), the station shoots down any ship that tries to leave. With environmental resources at a premium in the pirates’ habitat, Sloane gives Adda and Iridian an ultimatum: disable the AI and earn a place on the crew, or fail, and… well, “leave under their own power” isn’t really an option. But the last team to go up against the AI’s security ended up dead…

As Adda tries various ways and means to gain access to the AI and Iridian makes friends (and some enemies) among the pirate crew and makes herself useful in other ways, their peril increases. The AI isn’t reacting positively to being poked to see how it works: its hostility mounts, putting Adda, Iridian, and the crew in ever greater danger. Time’s running out for their survival—and then Adda conceives of a desperate plan. A plan that will involve Iridian, nuclear fuel, and a last-ditch effort to access the AI’s core processors in order to get Adda administrator privileges and shut things down.

There are explosions and strange diseases and refugees and people with guns and people with knives and people with knives and guns. There are incomprehensible AI(s) and engineering mysteries and competent people trying really hard to get things right under pressure. There are unapproachable ungendered pirate captains with excellent fashion sense, crew factions, and tension both quiet and explosive.

Barbary Station is an excellent debut, well-characterised, juicy, and full of INCOMPRENSIBLE AI DANGER. Adda and Iridian, the main characters, are a delight: very different people with very different ways of interacting with the world, their relationship is nonetheless both touching and believable. More than that, it’s an established relationship, one that’s threatened by death and external circumstances but not by internal tensions or angst that an honest conversation could clear up. It’s refreshing to see that kind of healthy and sustained relationship between main characters in a science fiction novel—I’ve nothing against romantic tension, but the will-they-won’t-they of early attraction has a disproportionate share of attention, when it comes to couples in books. It’s rare and, honestly, really fun to come across a healthy and established couple as a novel’s main characters. It makes for a different set of tensions: less familiar, and in consequence, more intriguing.

Adda’s relationship with her brother Pel is deftly sketched, as are the consequences of an injury to his eyes and thus partial blindness. We see less of the other characters, but they are deftly drawn in their turns. (I really believe in Captain Sloane, as a charismatic pirate captain.) And let’s not forget that this is a book in which engineering is important—vital, even. Engineering is cool.

The only criticism I can levy at Barbary Station is that its pacing at times is a little rocky, not quite as smoothly put together as I would like. But in the grand scheme of things, that’s pretty minor when it comes to a novel that’s SPACE MYSTERY PIRATE CHARACTER AI ACTION FUN, like this one is. (Yep, I’m letting loose the Capslock Of Enthusiasm. Beware!)

Barbary Station is precisely the kind of science fiction (with pirates!) that I want to read. It’s an immensely enjoyable ride, and I found it really satisfying. I expect Stearns’ next efforts to be even better.

Go and get a copy. You know you want to.

PS: It would make a great film or eight-episode television series, too, not that Hollywood cares what I think. But it really would.

Barbary Station is available now from Saga Press.
Read an excerpt here.

Liz Bourke is a cranky queer person who reads books. She holds a Ph.D in Classics from Trinity College, Dublin. Her first book, Sleeping With Monsters, a collection of reviews and criticism, is out now from Aqueduct Press. Find her at her blog, where she’s been known to talk about even more books thanks to her Patreon supporters. Or find her at her Twitter. She supports the work of the Irish Refugee Council and the Abortion Rights Campaign.

Unearthing the Perfect Horror Movies for Halloween

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The best day of the year is upon us—oh, Horror Christmas, how I love you. There is no better time to watch horror movies than October, and also no better time to try some new ones. Horror cinema has been quietly producing brilliant gems for decades now and Halloween is a perfect time to unearth a few of them.

Oh, before we get to the unearthing—see Get Out if you haven’t already. It’s the best horror movie made so far this century. And just a great movie, period.

Now! Who’s up for a classic?

You should watch every version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, preferably in quick succession. Seriously, with the possible exception of the Rocky movies, there is no starker, better example of why sometimes reboots are actually a good thing.

The original, from 1956, is the best known film. Famously, the original version ended with Kevin McCarthy running towards the camera screaming “YOU’RE NEXT!” before the studio stepped in and mandated a happy ending. The 1978 version stars Veronica Cartwright, Leonard Nimoy, Jeff Golblum, and Donald Sutherland in a ridiculously stacked cast, with an atmosphere of eerie, post-Watergate paranoia. It is very different in tone and has the single best ending to a horror movie I’ve ever seen.

The 2007 Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig version, renamed The Invasion, also happened. What the hell, watch it for completeness’ sake.

Then there are the not-quite Body Snatchers movies. The Faculty, which is basically a love letter to the concept, and The Puppet Masters, which is an adaptation of Heinlein’s take on the concept (also starring Donald Sutherland!). Basically, you can get about six or seven solid movies out of the whole creepy alien invaders/impersonators idea pretty easily.

But my favorite is the 1993 version.

If the original is about communism and/or conformity, and the 1978 version about political cynicism, then the 1993 Body Snatchers is about the loss of personal identity in the face of monolithic nationalistic and cultural forces.

So, obviously completely irrelevant these days.

Anyhoo, its strength lies in the constant ramping-up of tensions and the collision between the family dynamic and the soldiers at its heart. This version centers on Gabrielle Anwar as Marti Malone, the daughter of Steve Malone, an EPA inspector played by the always excellent Terry Kinney. He’s remarried, and Marti is far from happy about that, or the fact that she has a brother now. Worst of all, they’re relocating to a military base for dad’s job. And that base is not in good shape at all…

The combination of kitchen sink drama, forbidden love, and the collision between clashing ideologies drives the first hour of the movie. Director Abel Ferrara tells us upfront that something has gone terribly wrong but holds off on revealing all until the middle of the movie. There, in a scene that’s surely a series highlight, Meg Tilly’s Carol (Marti’s stepmother) explains just what is happening.

Tilly has never really gotten her due as an actress and she is just flat-out brilliant here. The combination of calm sincerity and inhuman affect is the engine that drives the final act and leads to the second best ending out of all the Body Snatcher movies. It’s like a hybrid of the previous movies—the “YOU’RE NEXT!” hysteria of the original mixed with the very real possibility that our heroes have already lost and the sense that even if they haven’t, they’re irreparably broken. It’s grim as hell, fiercely unflinching and non-commercial, and is pretty much the last gasp for one of science fiction’s most interesting concepts. At least until the next version.

Next up, Slither. Do not eat before watching Slither. I mean, at all. Written and directed by James Gunn in his pre-MCU days, it follows the events in the small South Carolina town of Wheelsy after a meteorite crashes on the outskirts. The sentient parasite it contains proceeds to infect local thug and businessman Grant Grant (Michael Rooker) and begins building a new body for itself…

On paper, Slither looks like the sort of body horror that crowded video store shelves back when video stores were a thing. And that’s because it IS the same sort of body horror that crowded video store shelves—only this one was made in the 21st century by people who LOVE their work and maybe drink a little bit too much coffee.

Ranged against the increasingly terrifying Grant are his wife Starla (played by Elizabeth Banks) and Sherriff Bill Pardy (played by Nathan Fillion). And as the creature riding Grant begins to infect the town, they have their work cut out for them.

Slither is a gristly slice of joy. Not just because it’s gross (And IT REALLY IS) but because Banks and Fillion are just ridiculously good fun. Banks has always been one of the best parts of any cast she’s in, but Starla Grant is a standout role for her. She’s no one’s victim and her gradual transformation into the movie’s heroine is earned, funny, and very real.

Fillion has never been better than he is here. Yes, I know—Firefly—but this is him freed from the demands of that show’s very specific rhythm. Better still, this is Fillion playing a hero who is, well, a bit rubbish. Bill doesn’t have special skills or a dark past. He’s a small-town Sherriff. He’s lucky, but not that lucky, and the film’s best moments all come from Bill’s self-image colliding with his reality. Or in this case, getting its ass kicked by a delightfully unconvincing alien-infected deer.

Rounded out by great performances from Tania Saulnier as wily survivor Kylie and Gregg Henry as Jack, the town mayor, Slither is a film that’s joyously unpleasant, massively funny, and can stand next to the likes of Tremors and Grabbers as a modern monster classic.

I’m a horror podcaster, so I’ve always had a soft spot for short stories and anthologies. And that’s why Michael Dougherty’s Trick ’r Treat is close to my heart. It’s a welcome update on the anthology movie genre as a cast full of very familiar faces all have amazingly bad (and in some cases, very short) Halloween nights. All of the stories are tied together by Sam, a mysterious child wearing footie pajamas with a burlap sack over his head…

The stories are all neatly-handled Tales from the Crypt-style affairs. “The Principal” is a blood-soaked comedy as Dylan Baker’s Principal Wilkins tries to get just ONE moment’s peace to bury a body or two. “The School Bus Massacre” is a classic piece of small town gothic, and “Surprise Party” is a well-executed piece of cinematic slight of hand. And then there’s “Meet Sam,” which is worth the price of admission all by itself. Starring the ever brilliant Brian Cox, it’s a one-on-one war between the grumpy old man and Sam the creepy little kid. The payoff, again, is fantastic and it’s made even better by Cox’s wonderful, glowering performance.

So, we’ve looked at a classic (in many versions), a monster movie, and an anthology. How about we end with an all-time great?

Pontypool isn’t just one of my favourite horror movies. It’s one of my favourite movies, ever. Adapted from his own book by Tony Burgess, it stars Stephen McHattie as Grant Mazzy, a former shock jock who has fallen all the way to the tiny town of Pontypool in Canada. Broadcasting from a studio in a crypt beneath a church, Grant, his producer Sydney (Lisa Houle), and their tech Laurel-Ann Drummond (Georgina Reilly) are the sleepy region’s sonic wallpaper.

That is, until the first reports of violence come in. Faced by an outbreak of a virus hiding inside language itself, the three must work out how to communicate when communication can kill you.

This is an amazing piece of cinema. The three leads are all fantastic and the central concept, and logic behind it, are unlike anything else I’ve ever seen. It feels completely alien and unknowable in a way that lazier writers would present as Lovecraftian. Instead, the antagonistic virus here is presented similarly to the massive Lobstrocity glimpsed at the end of The Mist. We only ever see it in passing, we only ever understand a tiny portion of its existence, and that alone almost destroys us.

Everything clicks and connects, every element of the movie serves every other element. There’s the best use of “Here’s Doctor Science to explain the plot” in modern horror history, the deaths have real meaning and weight to them, and the entire story comes down to one voice and the power behind it.

Which as a podcaster, I understandably love.

Pontypool is wilfully esoteric, deeply strange, and very sweet. It’s the most hopeful movie about the end of the world I’ve ever seen and if you watch nothing else this Halloween, watch this. I will be.

Enjoy, and happy Horror Christmas, everyone!

Alasdair Stuart is a freelancer writer, RPG writer and podcaster. He owns Escape Artists, who publish the short fiction podcasts Escape PodPseudopodPodcastleCast of Wonders, and the magazine Mothership Zeta. He blogs enthusiastically about pop culture, cooking and exercise at Alasdairstuart.com, and tweets @AlasdairStuart.

Five Books About Running Away From One’s Problems to Join a Space Pirate Crew

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Disclaimer: If you’re hoping for a hard sci-fi piracy list, know that I chose these novels for the characters and events, although several of them benefit from stellar worldbuilding too. I also want you to know that I almost started this list with I Was Kidnapped by Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space by Megan Rose Gedris, AKA Rosalarian. However, it’s impossible to find the first and last issues of the comic at a reasonable price, and I want to offer you novels to read. So instead, please check out my five favorite books about running away from one’s problems to join a space pirate crew.

Let’s begin with a classic: Jack Crow of Armor by John Steakley (1984), running away from prison and various self-inflicted misfortunes to join a crew planning a research colony heist. I met him as he was plotting to kill somebody who didn’t need to die, and I was worried about the main character at the time, so I was not happy to see him in the book, at first. His alternative courses of action are all terrible, though, and he barely tolerates the legend that humanity has constructed around him. Because he’s an unlikable fellow, it’s fun to watch him suffer through everybody treating him as “Jack Crow, ferocious pirate.” He just wants to have a drink in peace and not be hassled, just once. He’s a fairly good pirate, and an awful person. He also has identifiable qualities. All of us are awful sometimes.

According to United States law, fan favorite and disabled hero Miles Vorkosigan gets his start at being a pirate in The Warrior’s Apprentice (Lois McMaster Bujold, 1986). Extend all of the “aircraft” terminology to “spacecraft,” here. The problem he was running from: flunking out of a military academy during wartime, because he wasn’t physically fit. In what is basically a military-based caste system, that’s a lot to escape from. What he ends up doing instead is creating his very own mercenary fleet, through wartime smuggling and other acts of necessary violence. This story may be chronologically first, but you can jump into the Vorkosigan Saga at any book. They’re all excellent.

Speaking of starting a space piracy career early in life, every kid fantasizes about escaping their parents to go on an Adventure. Unfortunately for Jos Musey of Warchild by Karin Lowachee (2002), his chance to do that comes long before he’s ready for it. And after the pirates raid his family’s merchant vessel, there’s no home to go back to and the adventure doesn’t end. Jos has a hard life aboard his new home, the Gengis Khan, but eventually he accepts to become what is basically a tattooed space pirate assassin-priest. There’s no doubt that the kid is in an Inigo Montoya situation here, but he owns it eventually, and goes through a hell of a lot, and I love the story for it.

I also love James S. A. Corey’s Expanse series. Its hero has a habit of making galaxy-wide proclamations which everybody around him wishes he wouldn’t make. This is a line in the 2016 installment of the series, Babylon’s Ashes: “James Holden has just declared piracy legal.” That’s it. That’s the series. Holden and his crew are always sailing from one disaster to the next, and this is no exception. There’s been a radical change to the galactic political landscape, and Holden has backed the losing side because he has history with them. So, what to do when you’ve got a few good friends, a solar system menaced by pirates (among other things), and less than your usual political backing? When good people can’t do good legally, they become pirates. Not like those other pirates, of course. Holden always has to be different. The many points of view in this book will be more meaningful if you’ve read the previous stories, but as a person who’s been known to start reading 20-book serieses on book 7, I say go for it.

Finally, I first heard of Neptune’s Brood (2013) as Charles Stross’s blog post titled “Books I will not write #4: Space Pirates of KPMG.” I am so glad he wrote it anyway. Aside from the economics, which are very interesting, the protagonist, Krina Alizond-114, is venturing forth to find her missing sister when one Count Rudi and his crew attack her ship. Rudi obviously recognizes skeletons in closets because he’s running from several in his own, despite his claims to being an “honest privateer.” I mean, he is a space pirate bat accountant, and have you read about bats? Arguably he is also running from a lost love, which didn’t so much drive Rudi into space as keep him there, in my opinion. You don’t have to read Stross’s other books in the same universe to appreciate this one. Come for the futuristic economics. Stay for Count Rudi and his crew.

What I like most about these novels is less the idea that one’s problems can be escaped by committing space crimes alongside one’s most dangerous friends, although that is delightful. I like the people who make that decision, consciously or unconsciously. Those characters looked around, assessed their options, and said “You know what? I could steal this ship, or maybe acquire it legally, and use it to steal, con, rob, and cause mayhem (including the literal definition thereof). That’s my best option right now.” Those are the kind of people I wrote about in Barbary Station, and those are the people whose stories I love to read.

R.E. Stearns wrote her first story on an Apple IIe computer and still kind of misses green text on a black screen. She went on to annoy all of her teachers by reading books while they lectured. Eventually she read and wrote enough to earn a master’s degree in curriculum and instruction from the University of Central Florida. She is hoping for an honorary doctorate. When not writing or working, R.E. Stearns reads, plays PC games, and references Internet memes in meatspace. She lives near Orlando, FL with her husband/computer engineer and a cat. Her novel Barbary Station is now available from Saga Press.

Celebrating Sincerity with It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

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It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown first aired on October 27th, 1966, meeting CBS’s demand for another Peanuts holiday-themed special that could run annually, like the previous year’s A Charlie Brown Christmas. CBS reportedly went so far as to say that if Charles Schulz and Bill Melendez couldn’t deliver a hit, they wouldn’t order any future Peanuts specials. Luckily The Great Pumpkin was a success, and even added a new holiday figure to the American pantheon, as many people assumed the Great Pumpkin must be a real folk tradition.

I revisited the special recently, and found a much weirder, darker world than I remembered…

Allow me to be briefly autobiographical: I spent a large portion of my life in Florida. Now while I’ll grudgingly admit that Florida has some good aspects, as a pale goth-ish person who hated being in direct sunlight, didn’t like the beach, and never developed a taste for meth, there wasn’t much there for me. Worst of all, since I spent the first few years of my childhood in Pennsylvania, I missed seasons. I liked the way the year turned, the way weather followed a predictable cycle that tied you to life in a visceral, subconscious way. Because of this I attached an unhealthy importance to holiday specials. (That may be clear to anyone who’s read my exhaustive takes on Christmas specials each year.) But the two autumn-based Charlie Brown specials hold a special place for me, because what I missed most living in Florida was FALL. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown gives us autumn leaves, enormous pumpkins, and sunsets so vibrant I’d just pause the tape and stare at the screen for a while, and the muted palette of the Thanksgiving special impressed me so much I think it’s part of why I love Wes Anderson.

I mean, look at this at that glowing sun perfectly mirroring Linus’ pumpkin:

Pumpkin Patch

And look at that sky! And the variety of colors in the scattered leaves! And the soft, inviting glow of that light in the window!

Pumpkin Patch

Great Pumpkin gives you an autumn you can taste. But for all that I didn’t really remember the story as much—I just remembered the visuals and the weird spooky mood. And when I went back and watched the special this week, I realized why. The special does a couple of interesting things with two of the lead female characters of the Peanuts universe, but overall I think I can say that this is the most depressing of all the Peanuts specials. (Just kidding. It’s this one.)

So let’s look at the highlights and weirdness of this classic.

 

Sally Brown: Unlikely Feminist Icon

Sally and Linus

Sally is excited to take an important step into adulthood by participating in tricks or treats, but she has some moral checkpoints to consider—she doesn’t want to do anything illegal, and she doesn’t want to take part in a rumble. We see right away that she’s an independent young woman—after all, she successfully makes a ghost costume for herself when her big brother botches his. When Linus first weaves his tale of the great pumpkin, he expects her to buy it:

Linus: He’ll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity.

Sally Brown: Do you really think he will come?

Linus: Tonight the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. He flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world.

But no.

Sally Brown: That’s a good story.

Linus: You don’t believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.

Sally Brown: Welcome to the 20th century!

I think Sally has a bright future ahead of her. She loves her Sweet Babboo, yes, but she’s still her own person. She chooses her iconoclastic love over the pack mentality of the other children, but it’s her choice. Linus doesn’t pressure her. (He proselytizes a little, but that’s kind of his jam.) And when Sally realizes that she’s been screwed out of candy, she doesn’t just mope like her brother does: she demands restitution.

 

What’s the Deal with the World War I Flying Ace?

nomansland4

Snoopy is the Peanuts universe’s escape valve. He’s weird, adventurous, whimsical, and doesn’t care what the children think of him. He walks freely into peoples’ homes, and has both his own rich inner life, and his own home, which seems to be TARDIS-like in interior space. He is their Tigger, their Toad, their Huck Finn. In this special, far from the fun romp of winning a Christmas decoration contest, Snoopy imagines himself as the Great World War I Flying Ace. Fine. But rather than having a grand adventure, he is almost immediately shot down by his nemesis the Red Baron.

On the one hand this is great—it taps into the power of a kid’s imagination, the animation is gorgeous, and Guaraldi provides a score that, to this day, fills me with existential dread whenever I hear it.

But on the other hand… what the hell? What does this have to do with Halloween? Who thought children in 1966 were going to be invested in a weird subplot about a war that was fought two generations earlier? Who thought it was a good idea to send Snoopy the Dog through an absurdly realistic No-Mans-Land, crawling through barbed wire, fording a stream, and passing signs for real cities in France, all while fearfully looking around, waiting for enemy Germans to appear? Who decided to send him creeping through a shelled-out barn where, oh yeah, the walls are riddled with bulletholes?

Snoopy in No Man's Land

Stay low, Snoopy! Serpentine! Serpentine!

What the hell, Charles Schulz? And even once he gets into the safety of Violet’s house, his costume inspires Schroeder to play World War I-era songs, which is fine until Snoopy begins sobbing during “Roses of Picardy” and finally leaves the party in tears.

Happy Halloween, everybody!

 

Umm… Rocks?

Rocks

OK seriously why the hell are the adults in this town giving Charlie Brown rocks? Are they all participating in some weird adaptation of “The Lottery” that the kids don’t know about?

…shit, it’s that, isn’t it? Charlie Brown’s going to be murdered at the harvest festival.

And speaking of that…

 

The Unsettling Religious Implications of The Great Pumpkin

Snoopy as The Great Pumpkin

When A Charlie Brown Christmas aired in December ’65, it did two things that were unheard of on TV: it used actual children for voice actors, and it openly espoused a very particular religious viewpoint. This was just after the peak of 1950s Americana, the idea that Protestants, Catholics, and Jews could work together to form a bland coalition of faith and morality. While Charlie Brown embraced an avante garde jazz soundtrack courtesy of Vince Guaraldi, it did not embrace the Beats’ interest in Buddhism, and the wave of Eastern religions and New Age beliefs had not yet been popularized by the hippie movement. So for Linus to walk out and recite verse from Luke was shocking. This was no Ghost of Christmas Future here to make vague threats, or an angel either dashing (The Bishop’s Wife) or bumbling (It’s a Wonderful Life) come to earth to represent a benevolent but unnamed hierarchy: this was straight up Gospel, and the animators fought the network to keep it in the show. I hop holidays and mention this only to say that between this and Schulz’ public role as a Presbyterian youth pastor Methodist Sunday School teacher, the religious bent was firmly in the Peanuts universe.

What’s even more more interesting is the inversion happening here. If you’re a druid or a Wiccan, or just really really into being Irish-American (clears throat) you might claim the religious significance of Halloween, carve turnips, and celebrate this as a new year. Obviously if you celebrate Dia de los Muertos you commune with your loved ones, of if you’re Catholic you can observe All Saints and All Souls days with special services at church. However, U.S. Halloween, taken by itself, is an aggressively secular holiday, in which only candy and ironic “Sexy Fill-in-the-Blank” costumes are held sacred. But here’s our Matthew-quoting prophet professing his faith in a Great Pumpkin? An icon he just made up? What gives?

Charles Schulz answered this question in an interview in 1968: “Linus is a youngster to whom everything must have significance—nothing is unimportant,” Schulz told the Schenectady Gazette. “Christmas is a big holiday, and it has Santa Claus as one of its symbols. Halloween is also a special kind of day, so it ought to have some sort of a Santa Claus also. This is what bothered Linus.” Which makes sense to me—I remember being confused as a kid by the boundaries between holidays. Why did Christmas equal presents, but Easter and Halloween equaled candy? Why wasn’t there any gift-giving component to Thanksgiving? Why did New Years suck so much, and why did adults seem to like it? So making a central figure for Halloween (as Tim Burton and Henry Selick would do again a few decades later) works. What’s interesting is that Schulz creates an obvious allegory of religious faith, and unlike in A Charlie Brown Christmas, with its moments of blaring sincerity and the salvation of the tree, there is no reward for Linus’ faith. The Great Pumpkin, at its core, is a tale of disappointed religious faith. Linus receives no reward, no balm in Gilead, no candy in the Pumpkin Patch.

The show adheres closely to a classic Early Christian martyrdom narrative, except without the happy ending. When the other children mock and berate Linus for his belief in the Great Pumpkin, he remains calm. When Lucy threatens him with physical pain, he shrugs it off. He never threatens them with any sort of pumpkin spice wrath, hails of toasted, cinnamon-sprinkled seeds raining down upon his tormentors, scarecrows appearing at crossroads to castigate them for their lack of faith. He genuinely wants everyone to join in the bounty of toys. When even Sally abandons him, he calls after her, “If the Great Pumpkin comes, I’ll still put in a good word for you!” Linus is truly good.

But it’s here that the special turns.

Linus: “Good grief! I said “if”! I meant, “when” he comes! …I’m doomed. One little slip like that could cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by. Oh, Great Pumpkin, where are you?”

Has there ever been a neater, more concise exploration of doubt? Within three sentences, Linus doubts the Great Pumpkin, berates himself for his lack of faith, and supplicates his orange deity for some special dispensation… and doesn’t get it. People may find it silly (it is a bit of fictional folk lore created for a cartoon special, after all), but I would hazard a guess that plenty of kids over the years have identified with Linus, and felt less alone because of this moment. And since, again, this special revolves around Linus’ own personally dreamed-up Pumpkin, there’s no reason for non-Christian kids to feel alienated the way they might be while watching A Charlie Brown Christmas. They can enter into this story, feel Linus’ doubt and guilt, and be just as disappointed as he is when the Great Pumpkin declines to appear.

 

Man Does This One Ever Stick the Landing

Lucy in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

After all the melancholy, this special ends on an even more warm and humanistic note than the Christmas special. Lucy normally spends her time in both the comics and the cartoons being an utter jerk. Even in this one—she won’t let Charlie Brown kick the football, she tells him his invitation to Violet’s party is a mistake, she interrupts the other kids at the party to strong-arm them into bobbing for apples (and then claims the first turn, ugh) and, worst of all, is seriously cruel to Linus over his Great Pumpkin worship.

But as angry and annoying as Lucy is, she gets extra candy for Linus when she goes trick-or-treating, and since no parents seem to exist in this universe, we can assume that she did this on her own initiative. But best of all, she’s the one who realizes Linus never came home from the pumpkin patch. It’s Lucy who gets up at 4 in the morning, finds her brother, and leads him back home. She even takes his shoes off when she puts him to bed. It’s the perfect end to the special. The Great Pumpkin doesn’t come, Linus doesn’t get what he wants, but he does learn that his sister will be there even when deities fail.

And then he spends the credits ranting about how he still has faith in the Great Pumpkin because he’s Linus, and he’s got to believe in something.

This article was originally published in October 2016, for the 50th anniversary of It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

Leah Schnelbach is going to find a sincere pumpkin patch one of these days, she just knows it. Come, sing “Roses of Picardy” with her on Twitter!


The Tablet of Scaptur

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In the 23rd century, there is a radiant world of endless summer where peace is maintained through emotional surveillance performed by a peculiar device called the Intercept. When Violet Crowley, the sixteen-year-old daughter of New Earth’s Founding Father, is smuggled an artifact covered mysterious markings, it’s up to her and her friends to decipher the message. “The Tablet of Scaptur” is a standalone story set before the events of The Dark Intercept (available now from Tor Teen).

 

 

October 2293
New Earth

 

The rock was about the size of a coffee cup. Its surface was rough and its color varied between vivid red and dusky rust, split at intervals by what looked to be short fissures of ashy gray.

“But they’re not really fissures,” Violet pointed out. “I thought so at first—but I was wrong. They’re markings. Like—like some kind of language.”

Her friends stood all around her. They leaned in toward the object she held in her hand. They, too, could now see that something strange and mysterious had been chiseled deliberately and painstakingly onto the rock. The more times she turned it over, the more the tiny carved symbols seemed to proliferate, almost as if the very act of observing them was prompting more to be born—which was, Violet knew, a ridiculous, preposterous, totally impossible notion.

And yet.

“Here—let me see it.”

She handed the rock to Rez, who had made the request in his usual impatient tone. Steve Reznik was a genius—he would tell you so himself if you didn’t pick up on it right away—and geniuses apparently didn’t have to bother with silly trifles such as politeness.

Rez examined the rock with a pinched, diligent focus, a rigorous attention that caused the skin on his forehead to crumple up and his lips to make a thin tight line. He shifted the rock from one palm to the other, and then back to the original palm.

He grimaced. He grunted. He returned the rock to Violet. He didn’t say so—he would never admit such a thing—but he was stumped, too.

“My turn,” Shura said. “I’ve already looked at it about a million times, but there’s no harm in trying again.”

Violet passed the rock to Shura.

They had gathered in Danny’s living room. The room was awash in the muted light of fall—a moody, melancholy shade that was created by the Color Corps in Farraday, one of the six cities of New Earth. The inside of Danny’s apartment, like the apartments all around it, and the apartments around those apartments, was a square white box. Space was carefully rationed on New Earth, for the same reason that recycling was mandatory. This was a world that hovered in the sky above the ruins of Old Earth, a world requiring constant calibrations and crucial, orbit-sustaining balances.

Danny’s home was clean and neat, but it had no personality, no soul, no distinguishing characteristics, nothing to indicate that he cared at all about putting his individual stamp on it. Violet couldn’t blame him. He was a cop with New Earth Security Services, and he didn’t spend much time here. Today was a rare day off.

Everyone wanted a turn with the rock. Present were Violet, Shura, Danny, Rez, and Rez’s seven-year-old sister, Rachel. Violet had only been around Rachel once or twice before, but she’d heard lots of stories about how smart she was. Scary-smart, in fact. Rez had been taking her to school that morning when he received Violet’s group text on his wrist console, coded URGENT:

MTG @ DANNY’S NOW

Rez had known right away that it was important. Violet never summoned them that way. And so he’d grabbed Rachel’s small hand and hopped off the tram two stops before the one nearest to her school.

Rachel didn’t ask any questions; she was too excited. She had long dreamed of hanging out with her big brother’s friends, but had never been allowed to. This was her golden chance. She knew that Rez would somehow cover for her with the school authorities. He’d either come up with a clever story, or maybe he’d hack into the Attendance Center and change the notation beside her name for today’s date from “Absent” to “Present.” It would be a snap for her brilliant big brother. She had overheard someone say that Rez had a “once-in-a-generation mind.” Rez, of course, had corrected her when she told him about it: They should have called his intellectual capacity “dazzling, astonishing, and world-transforming” and left it at that.

Shura dug at the rock with a pink-painted fingernail.

“Hey, watch it,” Danny protested. “You might chip off a marking or something.”

Shura shook her head vigorously. Her straight black hair swished back and forth across her narrow shoulders. “It’s way too hard for that,” Shura said, a bit defensively. She handed the rock to Danny. “See for yourself.”

He accepted it in his joined-up palms with a careful reverence, as if he were being trusted with a religious relic. Instead of moving the rock, he moved his head from side to side, examining the facets. Then he, too, tried to scratch at it with a thumbnail.

“You’re right,” Danny said. “Nothing’s flaking off at all. Not a single grain. That’s the hardest rock I’ve ever felt. And those marks—I don’t have a clue what they mean.”

He turned to Rachel, having noticed her eager face and small, outstretched hand, and passed her the rock. She looked intently at it for a second or so, then reached up and deposited it back into Violet’s waiting palm. It had traveled all the way around the circle.

Like the rock itself, they were right back where they started from:

They had no idea what the symbols meant. They only knew that in the few minutes that had elapsed since they had all arrived here, something about the rock and its markings tugged at them, individually and collectively. The mystery was like a fever they had all caught on contact. They shared a fierce desire to tunnel below the surface of things and dig out the why.

Even here on New Earth, where most people kicked back and relaxed, reveling in the good fortune of having escaped the danger and tumult of Old Earth, content to let the Intercept keep them safe, the four of them couldn’t sit still.

Well, five, Violet corrected herself, looking down at Rachel.

Violet had been absolutely right about her friends. The moment they glimpsed the rock, they had to know what the symbols meant. They had to figure it out. It didn’t matter if Rachel missed a day of school, or if Violet and Rez were late for their afternoon shift at Protocol Hall, or if Danny got no rest on his off-duty day, or if Shura’s mother kept sending her constant texts asking where she was.

They had to solve the riddle of the rock.

 * * *

“I know you don’t want to go over the story again, but Rachel and I were the last ones to get here,” Rez said. “How’d you find this thing?”

Danny and Shura sat on the battered brown couch. Rez called dibs on the shabby green armchair, which meant Violet and Rachel were stuck with the carpeted floor. Violet didn’t mind. She preferred the floor. First she stretched out on her stomach, balancing her chin on a fist, and then she crunched up into a cross-legged crouch, and then she leaned languidly along one side of her body, propping herself on an elbow. Violet liked to change positions frequently. She needed to move while she was solving a problem. Sitting still was like thinking the same thought over and over again.

Before she retold the story of how she came to possess the rock bearing the peculiar symbols, Violet took a second to savor the fact that she had friends like these, friends who dropped everything when she needed help, friends who were smart and resourceful and up for an adventure, friends who didn’t judge her.

The non-judging part was important because she came with what might politely be described as “baggage.” Her father, Ogden Crowley, was president of New Earth and some people didn’t like him, which apparently meant they couldn’t like her, either. Politics divided people, Violet had learned. Not everybody thought it was a good idea to create a new civilization high above the decaying surface of Old Earth, no matter what the advantages were, and no matter how dark and dangerous Old Earth had become by the twenty-third century.

There was even more trouble when he installed the Intercept, a technology that kept the population of New Earth secure.

Violet looked at the people in the room, one by one, and remembered all over again how much they meant to her. And as she remembered, she saw the little blue flash in the crook of her left elbow. The Intercept had just scooped up her affection, in the same way that it could scoop up her fear or her hate.

There was Shura, a painter who planned to go to medical school. She and Violet had been best friends since they were little girls.

There was Rez, who worked with Violet at Protocol Hall. The two of them were part of the large team that monitored New Earth twenty-four/seven. Through the chips implanted in the crook of everyone’s left elbow, the Intercept harvested emotions; those emotions were then filed away in the vast humming archive beneath the streets of New Earth.

There was Rachel, who seemed to be a lot nicer than her brother, Rez.

Then there was Danny Mayhew. He was eighteen—three years older than Violet, Shura, and Rez. He was the only one who had his own apartment; the others still lived with their parents.

Violet’s attention returned to the rock. She had placed it in the center of the coffee table. It seemed to throb with the fierce force of its mystery.

“Okay,” she said. “Here’s how we got it.”

 * * *

“Shura and I were hanging out,” Violet went on, “and we were going out of our minds with boredom. First we went to the park.” Perey Park was a beautiful green square in the middle of Hawking, capital city of New Earth. “But we were still pretty bored. Hardly anybody else was there and nothing much was going on. So I said we should check out the Old Earth History Museum. I hadn’t been there since third grade. And there’s always a bunch of new exhibits.”

“My class went there once,” Rachel cut in. “It’s great.”

Rez shot her a dark look.

“Sorry,” Rachel muttered. She’d forgotten the Rez Rule: She could tag along but she could not, under any circumstances, participate in the conversation. She was a kid. Not equal to him and his friends.

“So we took the tram over to Higgsville,” Violet continued. She didn’t want to override Rez and tell Rachel that it was okay to talk—Rachel was his sister, and his responsibility—but she felt sorry for the little girl and so she gave her a quick nod. The nod was her way of saying: That’s just Rez.

“It was almost closing time,” Violet said, resuming her story, “and Shura and I had to be quick. We raced around the first three floors to see everything we possibly could. There’s tons of new stuff.” She took a deep breath, then plunged headlong into delighted recollection. “They’ve updated the interactive timeline and it’s great—it shows what happened to Old Earth, starting with the rise of the oceans at the end of the twenty-first century, and then it explains the Water Wars and the Mineral Wars. Terrible, sure—but fascinating. They’ve got this cool thing where they change the temperature in the spot where you’re standing, so you think you’re actually feeling the ozone layer being shredded from greenhouse gases, molecule by molecule. I mean—right on your own skin. And then there’s this new exhibit on how New Earth was built. A hologram of the Chief Engineer takes you through all the steps and explains how they keep New Earth suspended above the planet—and how they create an atmosphere without having a dome that covers the whole thing, which everybody was afraid they’d have to have. Can you imagine how creepy that would be? Living inside a dome? I mean, we’d probably feel like bugs caught in a jar. My dad said that’s what he and his friends used to do back on Old Earth when they were kids—catch bugs in jars and poke holes in the lids to let some air in.” She shivered. “Even if we could breathe, we’d probably feel like we couldn’t.”

Violet paused. As her excitement grew, she spotted the telltale blue flash in the crook of her elbow—which meant that the chip was communicating her excitement to the Intercept, and the Intercept was adding it to her file. Annoying.

“Anyway,” Violet went on, “we hear the closing chimes so we start back down the staircase. It’s this ginormous swooping thing—really wide, with this fancy wood and—” Another blue flash. She swallowed hard and counted to three. When she started talking again, she used a calm, even tone. She didn’t like giving the Intercept any more information about her than it already had. “We’d just gotten down to the main floor when we hear a click. A door in the wall next to the staircase sort of falls open. Just an inch or so. The door is marked ‘Authorized Personnel Only.’ It looks like maybe somebody’s gone in and hasn’t pulled it shut behind them. And so—”

“Let me guess,” Danny said, interrupting her. “You ignore your big chance to go somewhere you’re not supposed to go and instead you turn right around and leave the building. Just like they told you to.”

He laughed. Everybody else did, too, including Violet herself. There was about as much chance of her passing up the opportunity to snoop as there was of Rez getting less than one hundred percent on a math quiz.

“Um—no,” Violet said. “So I sneak in. Shura’s right beside me—like a best friend should be.” Shura nodded and gave her a thumbs up. Violet grinned and continued. “We’re in this long, long corridor. All the doors are closed—except for the one we slip through. The doors say things like, ‘Archives’ and ‘Metallurgy Lab’ and ‘Communication Technology of Late Twentieth Century’ and ‘Planetary Artifacts.’ It’s pretty clear this is the backstage of the museum—the place where the scientists and the curators and the researchers hang out. Most people never get to see this—which is exactly why I had to stay and explore.”

“Right,” Danny said. “Like we all know—if you want Violet to do something, just tell her she’s not supposed to do it. That’ll guarantee she does it.”

He was still teasing her, and Violet knew it, and she didn’t mind. Not one bit. In fact, she kind of liked it. She didn’t know very much about Danny, but sometimes she found herself . . . thinking about him. So far, her Intercept chip hadn’t registered when she heard his name or saw him across a room. But she had a funny feeling that it was only a matter of time before it did. She just hoped that if it happened in public, she’d have a chance to pull down her sleeve. Otherwise—awkward.

“And so,” Violet said, reaching up and giving Danny a playful whack on the knee, “we walk along for a while longer, hoping we’ll come across an open door so we can see what’s going on in there. Suddenly a door slams. We whirl around. A woman’s rushing past us. She’s wearing a white lab coat. She’s got this white hair flying all over the place. She looks scared. And just before she gets to the door at the end of the corridor—where we came in—a bunch of cops come running out of another door. They grab her and start pulling her back. She’s like, ‘No, no, no! Let me go! I won’t say a word! I promise!’ This cop tells Shura and me to mind our own business. They just keep dragging the woman away from the door and—”

“They couldn’t have been cops,” Danny said. “No way. Cops would’ve identified themselves. Told her what she’d done wrong. And they wouldn’t have roughed her up. If she didn’t cooperate, the Intercept would have interceded. They must’ve been private security for the museum.”

“Whatever.” Violet shrugged. “Anyway, while they’re trying to get her under control—there’s a lot of flailing and shouting and confusion—and I realize that she’s making a big fuss to distract them, so they won’t see her reaching for something in her lab coat. Next thing I know she’s pushing something into my hand and I stuff it in my pocket. I start to say something to her, but Shura pokes me with her elbow. And she’s right. Best policy is to keep my mouth shut.”

“So that’s when you first saw it,” Rez said.

Violet nodded. “Yeah. The cops—” She stopped, giving Danny an obliging nod. “Okay, the museum guards—don’t see her give it to me. They’re too focused on not letting her escape, I guess. We’re like, kind of invisible. Anyway, the moment they clear the corridor, we get out of there as fast as we can. We run out the front door. Down the long steps. We’re halfway to the tram stop by the time we even take a breath.”

“And then,” Rez said, “you did a thorough examination of the rock.”

“Yeah.”

“And what did you think?”

“I thought, ‘Why did I just smuggle a dirty rock out of a museum because a crazy person wanted me to?’ And then I looked more closely at the cuts. Saw they were marks. So maybe it’s art, right? And the marks are some kind of abstract expression. That was my first instinct.” She made a face, discounting her own theory. “Right. So a scientist as renowned as Dr. Vivian Terrell would risk her career and her freedom over some artwork.”

“Wait,” Danny said. “How’d you find her name?”

Shura answered his question. “I checked the museum employee roster on the tram ride back to Hawking. Wrist consoles are good for more than just texting, right? Anyway, her picture was right there on the website. Dr. Vivian Terrell specializes in Martian geology. Unmanned trawlers go to Mars all the time to get the minerals we need here. She’s in charge of analyzing whatever they bring back.”

“Cool job,” Rachel broke in. This time, she was oblivious to Rez’s cold stare. Instinctively, Violet’s eyes glanced at the crook of Rachel’s elbow. She saw a small blue flash. Proof positive of just how excited the little girl was at the thought of Mars.

“I read,” Rachel said, “that there’s evidence of a lost civilization there. An underground colony, maybe, that disappeared billions of years ago, in the same way that the dinosaurs had vanished from Old Earth a long, long time before human beings showed up.”

“That whole Martian colony business—it’s pure speculation,” Rez said. His tone had a kind of sneering dismissal in it. From anybody else, the tone would’ve seemed mean, but they knew it was just Rez being Rez. He was focused, and a focused Rez was a formidable force. He wanted to get back to the rock. “So what do we know for sure?”

Violet replied, “Well, we know that somebody at the museum really, really wants to keep the rock a secret. But why?”

“Right—why?” Shura said. “I mean, trawlers bring minerals back from Mars all the time. Tons and tons of them. Why the fuss over this little thing?”

Rez summed it up. “Yeah. What’s the big deal about one rock?”

Danny stared at the rusty red object in the center of his coffee table. The markings covered every inch of it, traveling up and down and sideways. They looked as if they were trying to say something.

“It can’t be just the rock,” he said. “It’s gotta be what’s on the rock.”

 * * *

They spent the rest of the morning trying to decipher the message. Using the TranslatePro app that Rez had created the year before for their wrist consoles, they ran the markings through every language database they could find. There were 26,347 languages and dialects available on the app. The languages came from the misty history of Old Earth as well as from the quirky new languages created in the early years of New Earth, including exotic computer codes.

Nothing worked.

The markings were not part of any known system of communication.

At noon they decided to take a break. They were tired and frustrated. Violet carefully placed the rock in her backpack, and she and Rez left for Protocol Hall. They stopped on their way to deposit Rachel at school. Rez’s story about a delayed tram transfer seemed to satisfy Rachel’s teachers, but the truth was, the teachers didn’t ask too many questions—probably because Rez was still admired at the school as the smartest student they’d ever had, with Rachel now running a close second, and the teachers still called him when they had technical issues with their consoles. Shura finally answered her mother’s texts and headed home. And Danny left his apartment right behind them. A mandatory meeting for all hands had been called at the police station.

It was night now. Violet had walked home from Protocol Hall through the dark, warm streets of New Earth. Her backpack, slung across one shoulder, had thumped rhythmically against her hip the whole way, keeping time with her steps. She had felt the rock’s presence close to her, buried securely in the backpack. She had stopped only once, to pick up a rock she saw by the side of the street. She looked at it, and she thought about the vast difference between this average, ordinary rock in her hand and the one in her backpack that had come all the way from Mars.

She and Rez hadn’t talked about the rock during their shift that afternoon. They needed to focus on their jobs. But they had all agreed to meet again tomorrow morning and bring any new ideas.

Violet stepped into the front hall of the apartment she shared with her father. She realized she had a choice to make. She hesitated in the threshold, fingering the strap of her backpack where it looped over her shoulder.

Should she tell him about what had happened at the museum?

Ogden Crowley shifted in his chair. He hadn’t heard her come in—his work always took his total attention—but all at once he sensed her presence. He looked up, turning his head so that he could see her.

“Violet—hello, sweetheart. How was work?” That was always the first thing he said.

“It was okay.” That was what she always said back to him.

And in the next instant, she made her decision. She wouldn’t tell her father about the rock. The omission created a sort of queasiness inside her. She wasn’t lying, exactly, but neither was she telling him the truth. Which was a kind of lie.

Wasn’t it?

If her mother were still alive, it would all be different. She could tell her mother the truth about anything. Her mother would understand. Lucretia Crowley had been a rebel, too. She’d followed her conscience, even when that decision took her away from her family—and even, Violet thought, as the familiar lump formed in her throat, when it caused her mother’s death.

“Violet? You’re frowning, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Dad. Just tired. Long day at work.”

“Okay,” her father said. “Well, get a good night’s sleep.” He held up a sheaf of papers and rattled it. “I’ll be working for a few more hours.”

Violet knew from experience that “a few more hours” really meant “all night.” He hardly ever slept these days.

“Good night, Dad.”

 * * *

Before she got in bed, Violet checked her console one last time. There was a message from Shura, telling her about a new painting she had started working on that night, and messages from two other friends, minor ones, passing along small tidbits of gossip: a breakup, a new job, an argument with parents that resulted in a weeklong grounding. Violet didn’t bother to answer those. Shura, Rez, and Danny were her core friends. Other people came and went in her life. And gossip bored her, especially when she had a delicious mystery to solve.

There was no message from Danny. Disappointing, but not surprising. You never get the message you are hoping for the most.

The most? The thought took Violet by surprise. A more intense version of her feelings for Danny had sort of sneaked up on her. She dared herself to check the crook of her left elbow.

And there it was: a very tiny, very brief, but still visible flash of blue.

I’m in trouble now, Violet thought. But the notion wasn’t altogether unpleasant. She had no idea what to do about it, and so she switched off the lamp next to her bed and turned on her side and scrunched up the pillow under her ear.

She didn’t close her eyes right away. At night her room glowed, but not from lamps. It glowed with the power of Shura’s paintings, six of which Violet had arranged around the edges of the room, leaning against the walls. Shura had given them to Violet as birthday and Christmas gifts over the years.

She couldn’t see the paintings, because there was no light, but she could feel them. And feeling, Violet had come to learn ever since she’d started living with her best friend’s art, was another kind of seeing.

Her thoughts returned to the rock, to those bizarre marks that didn’t match any existing language. Part of her wondered if maybe the marks meant nothing at all. Maybe it was just gibberish.

Maybe there really had been a civilization on Mars. And maybe a kid who lived there—somebody like me, Violet thought—had been bored one day, just as bored as she and Shura were last night. And so to pass the time, maybe this Martian kid had sat down and carved a bunch of nonsense syllables on the side of a rock. Maybe that was it. And now, a few billion years later, Violet and her friends were trying to figure out something that couldn’t be figured out because it was . . . nothing. Some long-dead Martian kid’s idea of a joke.

She turned over on her other side and brought her knees up to her chest, trying to find a comfortable position so that sleep would come.

Somehow the Martian-kid-with-a-chisel-and-a-lousy-sense-of-humor theory didn’t sound right. The writing on the rock had to have a meaning. It just had to.

She flopped onto her back again. She couldn’t settle down. Her thoughts were spinning too quickly.

She’d checked her console earlier, and found out that Mars might have had an atmosphere four billion years ago, give or take a few million years. An atmosphere could mean life. And life could mean—people. But if it was a four-billion-year-old language, how would she and her friends ever be able to translate the—

Her console beeped.

She sat up in bed and snatched it off her nightstand. Maybe it’s Danny, she thought. The excitement made her feel like she’d swallowed a hyperactive butterfly.

Her heart sank a little when she saw the caller ID:

It was Rez.

“Hey,” Violet said.

He didn’t bother with a greeting, which was Pure Rez. Greetings were for lesser minds.

“She did it.”

“What?”

She did it.” Rez was practically shouting. Violet turned down the volume level on her console. She didn’t want her father to know she was still up.

“Who did what?” Violet said.

“Rachel. She solved it. She knows what the rock is all about.”

“What? How did a kid—”

“I don’t know. But she did it. She cracked the code.”

“So what do the marks mean?”

“I don’t know that, either.”

“You don’t—”

I said I don’t know!” Rez’s voice sounded hoarse with frustration. “She won’t tell me.”

Now Violet was thoroughly confused, but she was still elated. Somebody had translated the writing on the rock—even if it was a seven-year-old.

Wait. A seven-year-old?

“Um, Rez?” Violet said, trying to keep the skepticism out of her tone. “How do you know if—well, if Rachel is telling you the truth? I mean—kids lie sometimes. And this is pretty farfetched. How do you know she really did it?”

Rez snorted into the phone. “Because,” he said, “she’s my sister. And that means she’s brilliant.”

Pure Rez.

But he had a point.

“So what do we do?” she asked. “How do we get Rachel to talk?”

“Oh, she’ll talk. Just not to me.” Rez sighed deeply. “She says she’ll only tell one person.”

“Who?”

“You.”

“Why me?” Violet said.

“She said you were nice to her this morning. When we were at Danny’s. Nice.” He made a noise in the back of his throat, scoffing at the word.

“And she won’t change her mind.”

Rez laughed. He didn’t laugh often—Violet could only recall two other times when he’d done so much as chuckle—and it surprised her. She liked his laugh.

“Hey—one more time, she’s my sister. Given that fact, what do you think the chances are she’ll change her mind?”

“Zero.”

“Bingo.”

“So what do we do next?”

“There’s no ‘we’ here, Violet. Rachel wants to meet with you alone. Can I bring her over to your place?”

“Your parents are okay with you taking her out this late?”

“They’re not home. I’m in charge. My dad’s got a big project over in L’Engletown. And my mom’s doing site work for a new tower in Mendeleev Crossing.”

“Okay,” Violet said. “I’ll think of something to tell my dad. Come on over.”

“He’s still up? It’s almost midnight.”

“Oh, yeah.” She could see, in the line under her closed bedroom door, the light from the living room lamp. “He’s up. Like always.”

 * * *

“So—Dad,” Violet said. “Rez and his little sister need a place to hang out for a few hours. There’s a lot of noise in their building. That’s okay, right?”

Her father murmured an affirmative. He didn’t look up from the massive pile of papers in his lap. Violet could’ve told him that aliens from a zombie planet were making peanut-butter-and-brain sandwiches in the kitchen and he would’ve muttered, Okay, sweetheart, sounds good.

A few minutes later Rez and Rachel arrived. They’d had to get through the gauntlet of guards that protected the presidential residence, an experience that left Rez irked. Violet shrugged. Nothing she could do about it. She led Rez into her father’s library and patted the seat of a big comfy armchair. Rez had already summoned a book on his console and in two seconds was deep into his reading.

Violet and Rachel settled down in Violet’s bedroom. They sat on the bed, in the middle of the messed-up sheets, facing each other with the rock between them. Rachel was in her pajamas; Rez had simply bundled her up in a jacket and hustled her out of their apartment.

“So,” Violet said. She pointed to the rock. “You figured out the message.”

Rachel nodded. Her hair was matted on one side. There was a dried cereal stain on the sleeve of her pajamas. She was clearly tired, but her eyes, while ringed with dark circles, were still bright.

“What I don’t understand,” Violet added, gently probing, “is how you did that without looking at the rock again. I’ve had it since we left Danny’s apartment.”

“Yeah,” Rachel said. “But I’d already seen it.”

“Once.”

“That’s all I needed.”

Right, Violet thought. She’s Rez’s sister. An eidetic memory was a given.

Violet was trying to be patient, but she felt as if she was going to burst wide open unless she got right to it. “Okay, Rachel. So what do the words on the rock mean?”

“They’re not words.”

“They’re not?”

“Nope.” Rachel had pulled up one leg of her pajamas, exposing her knee. She started to pick at a scab there.

Violet could barely contain herself. “If they’re not words—then what are they? And what does the message mean?”

“They’re musical notes. And lyrics. It’s not a message—it’s a song.”

 * * *

Later, Violet would be struck by the exquisite simplicity of it. And by the fact that when you think you know what you’re looking for—like a message made purely out of words—you’re pretty much guaranteed not to find it. You have to look without expectations. And with new eyes.

The eyes of a seven-year-old.

“When I first went to bed tonight,” Rachel said, “I couldn’t sleep. I kept picturing the rock. It was like those markings were stamped on my brain. And then I realized that there were twelve unique symbols—and another twelve that seemed to be slight variations of the original twelve. These twenty-four marks were arranged in different patterns across the rock.

“Twelve and twenty-four. Twelve and twenty-four.” Rachel’s eyes were bright. “The numbers sort of danced around in my head. I knew them from somewhere. I was sure of it. And then it hit me. There are twelve musical notes—A, B, C, D, E, F, G and then five sharps and flats that fit between the five. That makes twelve. You add the minor scale—twelve plus twelve—and that makes twenty-four. Those are the building blocks of all music. It’s the alphabet of song. I don’t know what instrument a Martian would’ve played it on—but it’s a song. Music is music. Notes are notes. Sounds are sounds. Doesn’t matter if they were written down a few billion years ago or last week. Doesn’t matter if they come from Mars or Neptune or Pluto. A song is a song.”

“So it’s just a melody,” Violet said. She was disappointed. “No words.”

Rachel gave her a puzzled frown. “Of course there are words. I’ve been singing the song in my head the whole way over here.”

Violet was now excited beyond belief. She didn’t need to look down at her own left arm to see the quick blue flash. She felt the hot crackle.

“How’d you translate it?” she asked Rachel eagerly. “How’d you figure out what the words mean?”

“The same way people have been cracking codes forever,” Rachel replied. Unlike Rez, she didn’t sound snobby and superior. She sounded earnest. “You look for patterns. Repetitions. For instance, if you see a certain symbol showing up in a certain spot more often than other symbols—and if it’s followed by another symbol more often than by any other symbol, you can start to make words. Deduce meanings. The truth is,” she said, somewhat sheepishly, “code-breaking isn’t really about breaking codes. It’s about probability theory.”

“Not following,” Violet admitted.

“Okay. Let’s take the English language. Once you know the probability of each letter being used in a sentence, you can break pretty much any code. ‘E’ is the letter used most often. So you look for a symbol that’s used a lot. Chances are, it’s an ‘E.’ Then you start factoring in the probabilities of which letters would follow an ‘E.’ And you go from there.”

“But this isn’t English. It’s Martian.”

Rachel shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Math is math. Probability is probability. Clusters and juxtapositions of symbols, points and counterpoints—it all started to make sense. I got the chorus first and then the verses. There are a ton of verses.” She sighed. “If I’d had a computer handy I could’ve figured it out much faster. But my mom doesn’t let me take a computer to bed. She says I won’t be able to settle down. So I had to run the numbers in my head. Thousands of calculations. It took me over an hour.”

“A whole hour? What a slacker.” Violet grinned. Then she picked up the rock. Back to work. “Show me.”

Rachel pointed to a squiggle. “This is the title. Now, it would’ve been easier if she’d just called it ‘The Song of Scaptur,’ but they didn’t call their songs ‘songs.’ They called them ‘tablets.’ She called this one ‘The Tablet of Scaptur.’ ”

“‘She’?”

“Scaptur. I think she was a kid. She lived on Mars four billion years ago. That’s the date on the songbook—four billion years ago. She liked to solve puzzles just like me. It’s all there on the Tablet. She has a little section at the beginning where she sings about herself. And after that,” Rachel said, frowning, “the song gets really serious. I think that doctor at the museum knew what the song said. The one who gave you the rock. The scientist. But she probably made a mistake—she told the other people at her workplace. And they wanted to take the rock from her. So she ran. They caught her—but not before she gave it to you.”

Violet was trying to act casual, but she was so excited that she was almost vibrating. She had to make herself settle down so that she could speak. She didn’t need to look at her left elbow; she knew her chip was sparking like crazy.

“What does the song say?”

The little girl’s frown deepened. She started to pick at the scab again.

“Do I have to tell you? It’s kind of sad.”

Violet tried to tamp down her surging impatience. She’d done a little babysitting, and she knew that dealing with kids could be a pain in the butt.

“I really wish you’d share it with me,” Violet said.

“Okay.” Rachel nodded. “The song is about what happened on Mars. A long, long time ago. The planet was in big trouble. There were wars. All the time. And a lot of people died. But the saddest thing is that they did just what your dad did. They built a city. Up in the sky. Right over the planet.”

“But that’s a good thing. Why would it be sad?”

Rachel’s voice lost its brightness. “Because it didn’t work.”

Violet was stunned. “What do you mean?”

“That’s what the song says. Scaptur wrote it from inside a cave that was way, way, way down below the surface of the planet. Everybody else was gone. She was all alone.” Rachel swallowed hard. “New Mars failed. After a few centuries the whole thing came crashing down onto Old Mars and people were killed. Millions of them. They thought the new world was going to last forever—but it didn’t.” The little girl blinked. “Do you think that’s what will happen to New Earth? Will we go crashing down, too?”

Before Violet could reply, her console chirped. The caller ID made her take a deep breath. She hated to interrupt Rachel, but she had to answer it.

It was Dr. Vivian Terrell.

 * * *

“Violet Crowley?”

“Yeah.”

A long, ragged sigh from the caller. “Good. It’s really you. I’m in hiding, but I’ve been trying to track you down. When I gave you the Tablet yesterday at the museum, I didn’t know who you were. I only knew I couldn’t let them have it. I owed it to Scaptur to keep it out of their hands.”

The Tablet, Violet thought. And Scaptur. So Rachel was right. Dr. Terrell had figured it out, too. She knew that the odd markings weren’t just words. They were song lyrics.

“How did you find me?” Violet asked. She looked at Rachel; the little girl was fiddling with her scab again.

“One of my colleagues—he’s on my side, but they don’t know he is—saw you and your friend as you were running from the museum. He scanned the pictorial data base. My God—you’re Ogden Crowley’s daughter! What are the odds that I’d end up giving the Tablet to the child of my worst enemy?”

Enemy?” Violet said, instantly defensive. “No way. My dad loves the museum. It was his idea to start it.”

“He may love the museum, my dear, but he’s not too crazy about the research division right now.” Terrell gave a low, bitter chuckle. “If he had his way, I’d be on a one-way trip to Old Earth. I ought to hang up—but I can’t. Because you have what I need. I’ve got to trust you.”

“Look, my father isn’t such a bad—”

“Never mind,” Terrell said, cutting her off. “Can you meet me somewhere? Talking on a console isn’t really safe.”

Violet hesitated. She didn’t know this person. And based on what Terrell had said about her father, she wasn’t sure that she wanted to.

But she really, really wanted to know more about the Tablet of Scaptur.

She had to know why people were so afraid of a small red rock.

“Okay,” Violet said. “Where?”

“The foundry,” Terrell said. “And make sure you bring it.”

Terrell had probably chosen that location because it was deserted at night.

“Okay,” Violet said.

“And come alone.”

Violet took less than a second to make her decision. “I can’t do that.” She looked over at Rachel. If anybody deserved to be part of the action, it was this little girl. Yes, it might be perilous. And Violet knew she’d never forgive herself if something bad happened to Rachel. But she’d also never forgive herself if she didn’t take her along. Rachel had figured out the Tablet. She deserved to be part of this adventure, no matter how dangerous it might prove to be.

“What do you mean?” Terrell said.

“I’m bringing a friend.”

 * * *

The road leading to the foundry was wide, dark, and scary. Large shapes hunched ahead of them, spaced out across the night-drenched horizon; these shapes were the giant vats in which super-heated liquid roiled and churned. Violet had visited here a few times with her father, when he was inspecting the infrastructure of New Earth. He had explained to her about the immense heat and how it reduced machine parts to a seething red goo, out of which brand new parts could be created. The foundry, she had often thought, was a perfect symbol of New Earth itself: A place where the old became new again, the physical embodiment of a second chance.

If only it wasn’t so shadowy and bleak.

Violet held Rachel’s hand as they walked. She pretended it was for Rachel’s benefit but it was really for her own. She felt goosebumps popping up along her arms, even though the autumn air wasn’t cold. She wondered if she should’ve called Shura or Danny for backup.

No. She had made the right decision. This was her mission—hers and Rachel’s.

It had been hard enough to keep Rez from coming with them. Before they left she’d sent him a text from her bedroom, explaining that she needed to check something at Protocol Hall. She and Rachel would be back very soon.

I’ll come with u, Rez had texted back. Naturally.

No, Violet had replied, her thumbs flying madly over the console keyboard. Just keep hanging out in the library. Dad can’t know I’m going out this late. Cover for us.

And then she and Rachel had slipped out of the apartment through the side door, Violet in her T-shirt and jeans, Rachel in her pajamas and jacket. Violet had long ago perfected her technique for eluding her father’s security detail.

They boarded a twenty-four-hour tram for Farraday. A few minutes later they arrived at Foundry Road, a wide dirt pathway marked by the crisscrossing tire tracks of enormous vehicles. The road ended at the foot of one of the giant, open-topped vats. The heat from the churning liquid within it seemed to seep out of the sides in invisible tendrils.

The only light came from the uprushing glow of the molten steel as it moved restlessly in the vats. Sometimes an especially big wave heaved and then splashed down in a flurry of red-gold sparks, casting a magnificent radiance that temporarily lit up the foundry yard.

“Over here.”

The whisper startled Violet. She flinched so violently that the backpack she was wearing almost slid off her shoulder.

Dr. Vivian Terrell slipped out of the shadows. She was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing the night before, when Violet first saw her in the corridor of the museum. But those clothes were wrinkled now, and torn in some places. Her hair was even wilder than it had been before—which Violet would have sworn was impossible.

“How did you get away from the guards?” Violet asked.

Terrell smiled. “I’m old, my dear, but I’m nimble. They locked me in my office while they waited for instructions about what to do with me—and I climbed out the window.” Her eyes narrowed. She looked suspiciously at Rachel. “Who’s this?”

“My friend,” Violet said. “She figured out the rock, too. The Tablet of Scaptur.”

Terrell was surprised. “That’s impossible. It took me almost two months of work and a dozen of our most powerful computers to—” She shook her head. “Okay, so it must be true. Otherwise you wouldn’t even know what to call it.” She gave Rachel a rueful smile. “How old are you, kid?”

“Seven.”

Seven.” Terrell sighed. “All right, then. Give me the Tablet.”

Violet made no move to retrieve it from her backpack.

“Come on,” Terrell said impatiently. She held out her hand, palm up. “This has gone on long enough. The Tablet—I need it now.”

“I have some questions first,” Violet said.

“Make it fast. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“How did the Tablet get to New Earth?”

Terrell shrugged. “The best I can figure is that the rock got stuck in the treads of one of the Mars trawlers. All I know is that when the trawler was being unloaded, it fell out. One of the workers saw it and brought it to the museum. Nobody knew what the markings meant. Not until I got hold of it, that is.” Her voices glinted with pride. This was her field of expertise. “Sometimes, objects that are buried very, very deep will gradually work their way up to the planet surface. It can take millions and millions of years.”

“Once you figured out that the marks were a song, and what that song meant,” Violet said, “who did you tell?”

“My supervisor. That’s when all the trouble started,” Terrell declared. “Next thing I knew, my colleague texted me that a bunch of armed guards were coming for me down that corridor. I tried to get away—you saw that part—but they grabbed me. I was lucky to be able to keep the Tablet away from them the way I did. I still can’t believe you happened to be there.” She held out her palm again. “But I want it back. It’s mine.”

“Two more questions.”

Terrell rolled her eyes. “What is it with you, anyway? Your little friend has already told you what the song says. Why does it matter who’s after the Tablet? Or why?”

“Two more. Or no deal.”

“Fine. Two more. But that’s it. I’ve got to get out of here. They’re probably coming closer every minute.”

Violet put an arm around Rachel’s shoulder. The little girl had trembled slightly; Violet had seen the movement of her small body and wanted to comfort her, to gather her in.

“Who did your supervisor tell?” Violet said. She was stalling, reluctant to ask her real question: Did my father know?

“I can’t tell you for sure,” the woman replied, “but given the number of guards they sent—I think it’s a pretty good bet that somebody pretty important knows.”

Maybe somebody as important as my father. It was so disappointing to think about—to imagine her father authorizing a relentless hunt for an old lady. Being part of a cover-up.

“And the last thing I need to know,” Violet went on, “is why.”

“Why what?”

“Why do they want you to hand over the Tablet? Why are they hunting you down? Why don’t they want anybody to know about it?”

Terrell hesitated. She licked her lips. Violet realized that the woman was probably thirsty—and hungry, too—from her effort to elude the security guards.

“To begin with,” Terrell answered, “that’s really three questions, not one—but I’ll let it slide. It’s been a long night.” She licked her lips again. “Look. The authorities have to keep the Tablet a secret. They don’t want the people of New Earth to know about the song. They want us to believe that New Earth marks the very first time anybody has tried this—the experiment of elevating a new civilization over an old, dying one.” She laughed a hard, cold laugh. “Well—guess what? The Martians did try it. Billions of years ago. That’s what Scaptur’s song is all about. It’s about the dream of a new life—a dream that became a nightmare. Because New Mars didn’t work. Oh, it worked for a while—but then it disintegrated. New Mars fell apart. It crumbled from its own weight. The song tells the story.” She took a deep breath. “Shouldn’t the people of New Earth have all the facts? Shouldn’t they know what they’re in for? Shouldn’t they hear the song?”

Violet thought for a moment. “It might just be a fable.”

Terrell frowned. “If it’s just a fable, then why are the New Earth authorities so determined to hush me up? Something tells me they already know—or maybe they just have a good hunch—that somewhere else, right here in our very own solar system, this solution was tried before. Suspending a new world over an existing one. So—look, Violet. I need you to give me the Tablet. Without it, I’m just a nut with a crazy theory. But the Tablet proves my story—that there was once a New Mars. Just like New Earth. And New Earth may suffer the same fate as New Mars.”

A wave of supernova-hot liquid in a nearby vat heaved up in a glittering curl and then fell back again, creating a cloud of steam and a corona of light that hissed and flared against the night sky. Terrell seemed to tremble at the proximity of the heat, a heat that could dissolve human flesh every bit as quickly as it liquefied steel and iron.

“Okay,” she said. “Come on. It’s time. Give me the Tablet.”

Violet didn’t move. The Intercept, she knew, was collecting her emotion and filing it away. Fortunately Terrell didn’t know what that emotion was.

“Give me the Tablet,” the woman repeated.

Violet continued to stand there. She still didn’t reach into her backpack. Instead she shifted the strap further up on her shoulder. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? People deserve to know that New Earth might fail.”

“Anything can fail,” Violet said. “But if the Tablet’s song is made public, people will believe that it has to fail. That it’s somehow ordained. Predestined. That there’s no hope.”

“Give me the Tablet,” Terrell said for a third time. Her voice was harsh and urgent now. “Give me the Tablet.

In a flash, Violet’s hand dived inside her backpack. She pulled out the rock. Gripping it, summoning every bit of strength she had, she tossed it up in a high, wide arc, aiming for the vat. The Tablet of Scaptur looked as if it might not make it over the rim—but a brief wash of phosphorescent bubbles splashed up, proving that it had landed inside the vat, there to be instantly melted down by the cataclysmic heat.

Nooooooo!” Terrell cried out, the word rising into a shriek. She had lunged toward Violet as the rock was flung aloft, but missed snatching it back by inches.

Now that it was over, Violet pulled Rachel away from the woman, to keep her safe. But there was no need. Terrell wasn’t dangerous. She was filled with grief, not fury.

“Why did you do that?” Terrell said in a sorrowful voice. “It’s gone now. No one will know the fate that may await New Earth—the same fate that befell New Mars.”

“Exactly—the fate that may await us,” Violet countered. “Not the fate that does await us. If Scaptur’s song is sung, people will lose heart. Quit trying. And that will guarantee that we follow in the footsteps of New Mars.”

“You’ve destroyed a piece of history,” Terrell said. She almost wailed the words.

“I had to. We live by our dreams—my father taught me that—and if dreams are taken away, then hope goes away, too. Don’t you see? Doubts can doom New Earth faster than anything—faster than a failure of the wind turbines or a glitch in the gravitational balancing apparatus. A loss of hope would be more catastrophic than a direct hit by an asteroid.

“All that kept my father alive during his dark, terrible days on Old Earth,” Violet went on, “was hope. Hope fueled by dreams. And then he used those dreams to make New Earth. Other people deserve to have dreams, too. Right?”

Terrell didn’t seem to be listening. By now she had wandered away from them, head down, muttering to herself. She might have even been weeping. Soon she vanished in the darkness that pooled between the giant vats. The geologist would, Violet assumed, return to her job at the museum. She was surely safe from the retribution of the authorities—because to accuse her of stealing the Tablet would be to admit that the Tablet had existed in the first place.

“Come on,” Violet said to Rachel. “Let’s get you home. You’ve got school tomorrow.”

The two of them trudged slowly back toward the tram stop.

“She’s right, you know,” Rachel said.

“What do you mean?”

“Dr. Terrell. What she said about history. You destroyed it. Forever.”

“Did I?”

Rachel stopped.

Violet stopped, too. She looked around carefully in all directions, making sure they weren’t being observed. Then she drew an object from her backpack. It was covered with red marks.

“This,” Violet said, “is the real Tablet of Scaptur. What I threw in the vat just now was an ordinary rock. I picked it up in the street today.” She could trust Rachel. She didn’t know how she knew that—but she did.

Astonished, Rachel blinked her eyes several times before she was able to speak. “The things you talked about back there—the dreams,” the little girl said. “And about how the Tablet’s song would make people lose hope and—” She paused to catch her breath.

“That’s all true,” Violet said. “No one will ever hear its song. I can’t let them.”

“But why didn’t you just get rid of it back there?”

The road was dark, yet each time a giant wave of molten steel rose and fell in the mammoth vats behind them, their faces were briefly lit up by the golden glow. Rachel’s expression was one of confusion. Confusion was an unlikely state for this kid. First time for everything, Violet thought, recalling the girl’s stunning brilliance, her ability to solve every problem set before her.

Except, apparently, this one.

“I don’t know, Rachel. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t destroy the Tablet. I just . . . couldn’t. But I also couldn’t let Dr. Terrell know that it still exists, because she’d always be trying to get it. And once she had it, she’d tell the people of New Earth what the song said—which would hurt my dad. Undermine everything he’s worked for.”

Violet didn’t say so to Rachel, but more and more these days, she had begun to have similar doubts about the Intercept. She wasn’t sure it should exist—but she couldn’t be against it, either. Not openly. She wouldn’t go against her father.

But was it right for the government to keep a record of everyone’s feelings? Shouldn’t feelings be private? Ogden Crowley said the Intercept kept New Earth safe. Did that make it right?

Violet reached down and slung an arm around Rachel’s shoulder. They started moving again toward the tram stop.

“Time to go home,” Violet said.

The Tablet of Scaptur, she realized, was the first big secret she had ever kept from her father.

And then she realized something else. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew: It wouldn’t be the last.

 

Copyright © 2017 by Julia Keller
Art copyright © 2017 by Micah Epstein

Embrace the Impossible with NaNoWriMo Pep Talks From Your Favorite SFF Authors!

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NaNoWriMo National Novel Writing Month

Today, November 1, National Novel Writing Month begins! You have 30 days to write 50,000 (or more!) words without fear of outside readers or your own second-guessing. You get to throw all the writing rules out the window, except for the one where you sit down every day to write. Which is not to say that NaNoWriMo lacks structure—in fact, it’s all about support systems, from the forums to the pep talks from dozens of published authors, some of whom have attempted NaNoWriMo themselves. (And, in the case of some like Patrick Rothfuss, lost.) Because if you’re staring at the blank page on Day 1, or desperately sobbing your way through what seems like an irreparable plot mistake on Day 20, you’re going to need the moral support.

This year’s pep talks come from Roxane Gay, writer of World of Wakanda for Marvel Comics, among other things; NaNoWriMo executive director Grant Faulkner; and more. Those of you who are in need of encouragement right now, check out NaNoWriMo’s extensive archive of pep talks—nearly 100 of them, stretching back to 2007. If the key to breaking your writer’s block is some real talk from your favorite authors, you might appreciate some encouragement from…

 

Maggie Stiefvater

Maggie Stiefvater NaNoWriMo pep talk The Raven Cycle

Photo credit: Robert Severi

Stiefvater lets you in on a little secret:

I hear you’re trying to do an impossible thing.

Good. I love impossible things. I try to do at least one each year. I love everything about that word, impossible, and I love everything about slapping the ‘im’ right off its smirking face. It turns out humans are pretty good at the impossible. Just last month I read an article about an old lady who hand-fought a bear to keep it from eating the collie dog out of her backyard. There were photos. She was covered with claw marks.

Impossible, said the bear. He didn’t realize that was our specialty.

When undertaking the impossible, however, it’s important to remember what actually makes it impossible, because that’s what you have to overcome. The novel-writing part isn’t what makes NaNoWriMo impossible. Time is the only thing that makes NaNoWriMo impossible.

 

Chuck Wendig

Chuck Wendig NaNoWriMo pep talkWendig invites you to imagine being able to do something you’re not supposed to do:

This is not something we’re particularly used to, as adults. My toddler gets it. He isn’t fenced in by the boundaries of adulthood—which, okay, yes, that means he doesn’t necessarily know not to shove a ham sandwich into a whirring fan (instant ham salad!) or not to climb the tallest thing and leap off it like a puma.

But it also means he doesn’t know why he can’t just pick up a pen and start drawing. It means he has no problem grabbing a blob of Play-Doh and creating whatever his fumbling little hands can manage. It means that he’ll grab a Transformers toy and half-transform it into some lumbering robot-car monstrosity—and when an adult might say, “No, no, it’s like this or it’s like that; it’s a robot or it’s a car,” he’s like, “Uh, yeah, no. Go back to your tax forms and your HGTV, stupid adult, I’ve just created a Frankencarbot and you can go hide your head in the sand-swept banality of grown-up life, sucker.”

His entire creative life is the “Everything Is Awesome” song from The LEGO Movie. Because he doesn’t know what he can or can’t do. He doesn’t know about art or form or criticism or any of that. He can do whatever he wants. (Ham sandwiches and fan blades aside.)

And you can do whatever you want, too.

 

Alaya Dawn Johnson

Alaya Dawn Johnson NaNoWriMo pep talk Love is the DrugJohnson urges you to recognize your own bravery in taking on this endeavor:

You don’t do this kind of work without something deep inside of you that has stood up and demanded expression. Probably for a long time. Probably in the face of many people who have told you that your voice doesn’t matter, that your experiences don’t have value, that you’re only good for how well you can shut up and smile and buy what they’re selling you. And I know, I know: this world is deeply unjust, with huge barriers in place for the vast majority of humans striving on the planet. Telling stories can seem like not just a luxury, but an indulgence that’s shameful for you to even desire.

And yet, it is so important to respect that part of you, the storyteller who still, despite everything, decided to sit down and write this month. Respect your bravery for even starting. You’ve been working hard this November. You’ve been trying—and screw Yoda, trying is doing, it is the most fundamental action, because it acknowledges the possibility of failure. Believe in your deep, true voice and what you’re aiming for. And in order for you believe that, you have to stare into the mess. You have to acknowledge to yourself that you will fail—we all fail—and you will try again because you are the only person who can tell your own story.

 

Gene Luen Yang

Gene Luen Yang NaNoWriMo pep talkYang reminds you to work on your factory:

When the folks at Toyota design a new car, they don’t just design the car itself. They also design the factory that builds the car.

You need to think the same way. When you write a novel, you’re not just working on the novel itself. You’re also working on the novel-building factory: your life. You have to create a life that is conducive to writing. That means scheduling regular time to write. Weekly is okay, daily is better. Writing must become a habit. If something gets in the way of your writing habit, seriously consider cutting it out of your life. You have to write even when you don’t feel like it simply because it’s what the factory does.

By being a part of NaNoWriMo, you’re setting aside a month to make a state-of-the-art, novel-building factory. Get to it.

 

Patrick Rothfuss

Patrick Rothfuss NaNoWriMo pep talk

Photo credit: Kyle Cassidy

Rothfuss reiterates the number-one rule of writing: Yea, Verily. You Must Sit Down and Write:

1a. Thou shalt not go see a movie instead. Or watch reality TV. Thou shalt write. No. Stop. You don’t need to clean out the fridge right now. Neither dost thou need to sort the recycling. I’m not even kidding. Go and write.

1b. Thou shalt not just think about writing. Seriously. That is not writing. The worst unpublished novel of all-time is better than the brilliant idea you have in your head. Why? Because the worst novel ever is written down. That means it’s a book, while your idea is just an idle fancy. My dog used to dream about chasing rabbits; she didn’t write a novel about chasing rabbits. There is a difference.

1c. Thou shalt not read, either. I know it’s book-related, but it’s not actually writing. Yes, even if it’s a book about how to write. Yes, even if you’re doing research. You can research later. Sit. Down. Write.

 

Catherynne M. Valente

Catherynne M. Valente NaNoWriMo pep talk

Photo credit: Beth Gwinn

Valente shares her #1 rule of thumb with her fellow Speed Racers: you can be fast and good at the same time:

Though it is important not to put too much pressure on yourself, it is also important to know that quality and speed have absolutely nothing to do with one another. You can write something heart-catchingly brilliant in 30 days. You can do it in 10. There is no reason on this green earth not to try for glory. You’re going to spend these 30 days at the computer anyway. You might as well be mindful while you’re there.

You can come out transformed.

Write something true. Write something frightening. Write something close to the bone. You are on this planet to tell the story of what you saw here. What you heard. What you felt. What you learned. Any effort spent in that pursuit cannot be wasted. Any way that you can tell that story more truly, more vividly, more you-ly, is the right way.

 

 

Daniel José Older

Daniel Jose Older NaNoWriMo pep talk Shadowshaper Bone Street Rumba“Caminante no hay camino / se hace camino al andar,” Older quotes poet Antonio Machado, whose words translate to “Walker, there is no path / the path is made by walking.” One way to pave that path:

Check in with yourself. I’ve recently started keeping a writing journal and it’s been a huge blessing to my whole process. First of all, if the first thing you write when you sit down is something no one else will ever see; it eases you into the flow of putting words on the page.

Most importantly though, keeping track of how things are going with your project makes you introspective about your own process, and that is a skill that will carry you far. How are we to make the road by walking if we don’t look down every once in a while and check our stride, our pace, our rhythm. Not only does every writer have their own flow, it’s a flow that changes over the course of our writing lives. I use the journal to keep track of plot points, ideas I’ve loved or scrapped, the evolution of my thinking on the piece, various arcs and possibilities. It becomes a running commentary on process and craft, the story of the story.

If the only blank page you’ve ever stared down is one that’s got a deadline attached to it, it’s easy to develop a singularly stressful relationship to that emptiness. But if you start to connect with yourself via the written word, that page becomes a friend, a confidante. You get to be playful, joyous, courageous.

 

N.K. Jemisin

N.K. Jemisin NaNoWriMo pep talkJemisin lets you in on a secret—that sick dread that you are the Worst, that temptation to leap into the Chasm of Doubt, are all part of being a real writer:

Kate [Elliott] listened to all of this patiently, and then she shared something that I’m now going to share with you: every writer goes through this. Every. Writer. It’s just the nature of what we do: in order to create a world and populate it and make it real, we have to believe that we’ve got something amazing on our hands. We have to believe that we’re amazing—at least for a moment. At least enough to attempt this incredibly difficult thing. This is the peak of the creative drive.

But it’s hard to sustain that belief through the grind that is necessary to actually make the idea real. Our spirits fall. And at some point around the midpoint of the novel you’re invariably going to stop, look at what you’ve written—which will be a mess because in-progress novels are always a mess, that’s what creativity looks like and that’s what revision is for—and you’re going to recoil in horror. This is the nadir of the excitement you had felt when you started the novel, the opposite of the moment of amazing that spurred you to begin NaNoWriMo. This is the Chasm of Doubt.

If you’ve reached this point, you now have a choice: you can jump into that chasm, quit your novel, and wallow in how awful you are. Or you can veer away from the cliff. Doing so will be hard, because you’ve already built up the wrong kind of momentum. You’ll have to reverse engines and burn some extra fuel to break the inertia. You’ll have to climb back toward the peak, or at least reach a safe height. You might get back there a little late, but that’s okay. Better late than never.

 

Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman NaNoWriMo pep talk

Photo credit: Beowulf Sheehan

When the glamour’s gone, Gaiman has a useful metaphor to keep going:

A dry-stone wall is a lovely thing when you see it bordering a field in the middle of nowhere but becomes more impressive when you realise that it was built without mortar, that the builder needed to choose each interlocking stone and fit it in. Writing is like building a wall. It’s a continual search for the word that will fit in the text, in your mind, on the page. Plot and character and metaphor and style, all these become secondary to the words. The wall-builder erects her wall one rock at a time until she reaches the far end of the field. If she doesn’t build it it won’t be there. So she looks down at her pile of rocks, picks the one that looks like it will best suit her purpose, and puts it in.

 

Malinda Lo

Malinda Lo NaNoWriMo pep talk

Photo credit: Patty Nason

Lo makes the vital distinction between inspiration and discipline:

How often am I filled with inspiration before I start writing? Pretty much never. Instead, I usually stare at my work-in-progress with a vague sense of doom. I often think to myself: What the hell am I doing in this scene? I don’t understand how to get my characters from Point A to Point B! I really want to check Twitter!

The trick is this: As long as I sit there with my work-in-progress, at some point I will write something, because there’s nothing else to do.

Whatever I write may not be any good, but that doesn’t matter. When you’re writing a first draft—which most of you are doing this month—the most important thing is to keep moving forward. Your first try will be riddled with mistakes, but that’s what revision is for. Right now, you only have to put those ugly, wrong words on the page so you can fix them later.

So, inspiration isn’t what gets your book written. Discipline is. However, inspiration does sometimes pop by for an unexpected visit.

 

Brandon Sanderson

Brandon Sanderson NaNoWriMo pep talk

Photo credit: Nazrilof

Sanderson on keeping the smallest spark of hope alive when you fear your work will never make it out into the world:

You could be writing the book that changes your life. You could have already submitted it, or self-published it. The spark could be starting a fire for you as well. You don’t know, and you can’t know. That is the thrill of being an artist, of working for yourself, and of telling the stories you want to tell.

Don’t give up. Keep your eyes on the project you’re working on right now, and make it the best that it can be. More importantly, love that process. In the end, that’s what made me stand up and get back to work on book thirteen: the realization that I loved telling stories. No stack of unpublished novels, no matter how high, would change my enjoyment of this process—no more than a finished set of dives would make a scuba enthusiast feel discouraged about diving again.

 

Jeff VanderMeer

Jeff VanderMeer NaNoWriMo pep talk

Photo credit: Kyle Cassidy

In addition to encouraging writers not to panic and to find times to rejuvenate themselves, VanderMeer’s best piece of advice is to write what you’re most excited about in the moment:

Give yourself permission to work on what is most pleasurable in the moment. If you’re inspired to write a scene out of order, do it. The scene may change later, but what you lose in rewriting time you gain in positive reinforcement and better energy on the page. This also applies to getting the essence of a scene down. For example, if you’re writing a scene that’s a conversation and it’s just the dialogue that inspires you, write it like a transcript and add description later.

 

Naomi Novik

Naomi NovikSimilarly, Novik reminds you of a key fact:

If you’re finding a scene boring to write, cut it and skip to the good part. Set something on fire. Have zombies attack. Note that boring is not the same as hard. Really great scenes can be very hard to write and take a long time, but if you’re sitting there going “god, when will this be over,” make it be over. You indeed have that power. It’s your novel.

 

Happy NaNoing!

This post has been updated since its original publication in October 2016.

Fall 2017 Anime: Four Fantasy Shows Worth Watching Right Now

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Every three months, Japan graces us with a new batch of shiny new cartoons. But with more than forty shows airing this season, who has the time to watch them all? Decisions must be made. We’ve hit the three-episode mark of most shows this week, and it’s time to separate the winners from the losers. With offerings this season ranging from slick reboots of old classics to sentient battling jewel people, here are four shows that you can jump into right now, personally vetted by yours truly.


The Ancient Magus’ Bride

The Ancient Magus’ Bride is the show I’m personally most excited about this season, having been a fan of Kore Yamazaki’s lovely manga for a long time. In this Western-style fantasy, Chise (Atsumi Tanezaki), a young woman of exceptional but untapped power, is bought (as in purchased with money) by a powerful magus (Ryouta Takeuchi), who intends to make the girl his apprentice.

Yamazaki’s Celtic-inspired world is rich in wondrous and dangerous magic—this is the type of fantasy where the fairies drag you off for untold years if you step in the wrong stone circle, not the type where they flit about sprinkling pixie dust. Wit Studio (Attack on Titan, Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress) and director Norihiro Naganuma (making his debut as a TV anime director here) are thus far doing a gorgeous job with the adaptation, and the care put into production is obvious from the first notes of the perfectly chosen opening song. Slow, deep, fantasy for fans of Icelandic dragons and ancient curses.

For fans of: Flying Witch, xxxHOLiC, Natsume Yuujinchou

Watch now on Crunchyroll.

 

Land of the Lustrous

Adapted from a manga by Haruko Ichikawa, this fantasy battle show is set in a world in which crystalline inhabitants must constantly guard against raids from their planet’s six moons. If caught, the gem people will be shattered by the Lunarians, their pieces used as glittering ornaments on the distant moons.

The main draw of Land of the Lustrous, at least for me, is mangaka Ichikawa’s distinctive aesthetic: long-limbed, androgynous characters clash in highly stylized combat across an austere landscape of cliff and sea. The announcement that the show would be produced by Orange, a 3DCG studio known for their work on mecha shows, had me skeptical—but after three episodes, this might be the first fully CG show I actually finish. The character animation, usually CG’s Achilles’ heel, is expressive, particularly on the volatile Phosphophyllite, and the gem-like qualities of the Lustrous are rendered quite effectively in CG. Is it perfect? No, and I still worry that the CG adds an additional layer of distance in a show that already struggles to create emotional engagement with its alien characters. But it’s definitely worth a look. A fantasy battle show set a in a jewel box world for those who enjoy unique worldbuilding and surreal visuals.

For fans of: Sailor Moon, Casshern Sins

Watch it now on Anime Strike (sorry).

 

Kino’s Journey -The Beautiful World- the Animated Series

Kino, a traveller, and her talking motorcycle Hermes (yes he talks, don’t question it; no one in the series does) journey through a series of countries with strange customs and habits—a country on wheels constantly on the move, a country where murder is legal, etc. Each country Kino visits presents some kind of philosophical allegory or thought experiment, with Kino playing the role of observer, or less often, catalyst.

This new adaptation of Keiichi Sigsawa’s light novel series is a complete remake, covering some chapters adapted in the original 2003 show (a whopping fourteen years ago now) and others that are completely new. The 2003 series is a classic, but to be honest, the visuals haven’t held up especially well over the years. The new adaptation has the same quiet, meditative tone I remember, and it seems to me that even voice actors Aoi Yuuki (Kino) and Soma Saito (Hermes) are hewing very close to the 2003 cast in their performances. If you’ve not experienced Kino’s Journey, the show is well worth your time. The narrative follows patterns of parable more than realism, but the morals are anything but pat, and the show is content to let viewers feel discomfort with the stories presented. A thoughtful anime well worth a watch for both old fans and new viewers.

For fans of: Mushishi, Haibane Renmei, Sound of the Sky, Spice & Wolf

Watch it now on Crunchyroll.

 

Juni Taisen: ZODIAC WAR

In absolute contrast to the thoughtful and contemplative Kino’s Journey, consider this show about animal-themed mercenaries killing each other in an elaborate death game. Based on a light novel by NisiOisin (of Bakemonogatari fame), Juni Taisen pits twelve warriors, each taking the name of a sign in the Chinese zodiac, against each other in a deadly tournament that will grant the winner one wish—basically Fate/Zero, but with people dressed as chickens and snakes instead of legendary heroes.

Unapologetically pulpy and gleefully grim, Juni Taisen takes itself seriously enough to create suspense while being entirely unselfconscious about presenting the Ox character in a matador outfit or Rabbit in, well, whatever this is. Although it cultivates a veneer of edgy darkness, it doesn’t really make an earnest attempt to get you to sympathize with the characters, and that seems like the right move—they’re all terrible people, and the lurid fun is watching them betray and outsmart each other in a violence-fueled spectacle for twelve episodes. Excellent turn-your-brain-off entertainment with refreshingly little attempt at depth.

For fans of: Fate/Zero, Mirai Nikki, Death Parade

Watch it now on Crunchyroll.

 

Sequels

Though I usually try to focus on new anime in these posts, this is also an exceptionally good season for sequels:

  • Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond is the must-watch sequel of the season if you like dark comedy, cool fight scenes, and friendly alien New Yorkers.
  • Osomatsu-san continues to be a hilarious show about terrible people being awful to each other with a dose of absurdist humor and general weirdness.
  • Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma returns to make me hungry with the very fun Moon Festival arc, and offers a far more pleasant shonen alternative to the ear-destroying Black Clover.
  • March Comes in Like a Lion is still extremely good and terribly underrated, please watch this show.
  • Hozuki’s Coolheadedness 2 is hiding on HIDIVE and has a new director and studio, but remains a strange and funny show about your favorite bureaucrat from Buddhist hell.

Watch are you watching this season? Tell us in the comments!

Kelly Quinn Chiu is a children’s librarian and professional anime watcher. You can find her talking about manga and comics on Twitter.

Listen to the Steal the Stars Series Finale: “As Fierce, As Colossal, As All-Consuming”

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Steal the Stars series finale binge listen to series

Everything—the last thirteen weeks, every step of the heist—has led to this. It’s the Steal the Stars series finale: a supersized showdown that will break your heart but maybe also stitch it back together.

Steal the Stars is the story of Dakota Prentiss and Matt Salem, two government employees guarding the biggest secret in the world: a crashed UFO. Despite being forbidden to fraternize, Dak and Matt fall in love and decide to escape to a better life on the wings of an incredibly dangerous plan: they’re going to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and sell the secret of its existence.

If you haven’t yet listened to Tor Labs’ sci-fi noir audio drama written by Mac Rogers and produced by Gideon Media, you can read our non-spoiler review and binge the first thirteen episodes: “Warm Bodies,” “Three Dogs,” “Turndown Service,” “Power Through,” “Lifers,” “900 Microns,” “Altered Voices,” “The Walls of the Maze,” “The Real Stuff,” “Protocol,” “Checkpoints,” “All That Sky,” and “Matt-25.” Then you’ll be perfectly primed to listen to the finale below. And if you’ve been listening all along and can’t wait to find out what happens to Dak, to Matt, to Moss—well, then what are you waiting for?

In an epic final showdown in the Texas desert—as Sierra closes in from all sides—Dak and Matt finally learn the truth about Moss.

Steal the Stars is a noir science fiction thriller in 14 episodes, airing weekly from August 2 – November 1, 2017, and available worldwide on all major podcast distributors through the Macmillan Podcast Network. It will be followed immediately by a novelization of the entire serial from Tor Books, as well as an ads-free audio book of the podcast from Macmillan Audio.

 

Subscribe to Steal the Stars at any of the following links:

iTunes | Google Play | SoundCloud | Spotify | StitcherRSS

 

About Tor Labs:

Tor LabsTor Labs, an imprint of Tom Doherty Associates, specializes in experimental and innovative ways of publishing science fiction, fantasy, horror, and related genres, as well as other material of interest to readers of those genres.

About Gideon Media:

Gideon Media proudly builds on the acclaimed, award-winning theatrical tradition of Gideon Productions in creating complex, riveting genre entertainment. Gideon Media meticulously crafts new audio worlds in which listeners can lose themselves, centered around heart-wrenching, pulse-pounding tales of science fiction and horror.

Dwarves, Interrupted and the Promise of Ents

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In Which An Old Married Couple Squabble, Dwarves Are Stopped Short, and Ents Are Recollected.

In “Of Aulë and Yavanna,” two of the most industrious members of the Valar—who just happen to be married—get antsy over their work… with unexpected results. This chapter is a sort of in-world spoiler that Dwarves are going to show up later in the book, and so will Ents (to a lesser degree). Since both races are known well to readers of The Lord of the Rings, this chapter almost feels like fan service on Tolkien’s part. But of course it’s much more, since we’re also witnessing Ilúvatar’s policy, in real time, concerning what he does and does not allow in his creation. This is a short chapter but there’s still much to learn from it. In the case of Aulë, the master of all earthworks, Ilúvatar is both stern and obliging. In the case of Yavanna, it’s more of a nudge, nudge, wink, wink, ‘Hoom-hom!’

Dramatis personæ of note:

  • Ilúvatar – founding father of all existence
  • Aulë – Vala, smith
  • Yavanna – Vala, treehugger
  • Manwë – Vala, management

“Of Aulë and Yavanna”

Aulë and Yavanna are the Miracle Max and Valerie of The Silmarillion—the bickering but adorable older couple whose skills become instrumental to the central story—except, of course, for the fact that these two Valar are insanely powerful. They’re also the perfect example of godlike beings who are aligned with all that is good in the world yet reveal their imperfections in both words and deeds.

We start with Aulë, who like Melkor is a victim of his own impatience. He simply cannot wait any longer for the Children of Ilúvatar to arrive. He’s heard so much about them—read all the blogs, seen the concept art, maybe seen some blurry leaked photos—that he just can’t stand it. He’s already a fan. And sure, we as readers might know the Children are coming soon because we’ve seen The Silmarillion’s Table of Contents and know what the next chapter is titled, but to Aulë they could still be millennia away from showing up. When you’ve lived in the Timeless Halls, apparently “soon” doesn’t cut it.

So, like a fevered artist with a desperate itch, he gives in to his own creative impulses and… Aulë invents the Dwarves! That’s right, the bearded folk are actually the first to show up. Sort of.

Deep underground in Middle-earth he works on them, far from Valinor, and far from the judging eyes of the other Valar. And especially his own wife, Yavanna, who I’m guessing would have a thing or two to say about this. And he knows it. Aulë shapes the literal forefathers of the Dwarven race, rather Golem-like, from the very substances of the earth. They’re kinda sorta Elf- and Man-shaped, and they obviously come out a great deal hairier and a little bit shorter…because frankly, the final form that the Children will take is still “unclear in his mind.”

But close enough, right? And also, because Melkor is still very much at large on Middle-earth, Aulë makes sure the Dwarves are hard and durable. They’ll need to be tough to hold out against that bastard and his minions. And that durability is on all fronts:

Therefore they are stone-hard, stubborn, fast in friendship and in enmity, and they suffer toil and hunger and hurt of body more hardily than all other speaking peoples; and they live long, far beyond the span of Men, yet not for ever.

“Aulë Crafting the Dwarves” by Peter Price

Now, the moment Aulë’s finished making the Dwarves, he starts to teach them “the speech that he had devised for them.” Which—

Wait a second. The Valar themselves have probably had no use for any spoken language thus far, since they were themselves creatures of thought from the get-go, yet Aulë goes and invents a language—likely Arda’s first!—for the people he himself made? Total nerd move. (Almost sounds like something the legendarium’s own maker would do.) I’m surprised Aulë doesn’t also design an RPG boxed set (Dwarf: The Delving?) and try to get his friends to play it with him.

But no, there’s no time for that. Within the same hour of the Dwarves’ completion, Ilúvatar himself makes one of his increasingly rare “appearances” and suddenly starts speaking with Aulë, confronting the smith right there in his secret underground laboratory. With his hands still in the cookie jar of creating living people, Aulë knows he’s in trouble.

Of course, he’d known he was wrong in doing this, in not waiting for the fulfillment of Ilúvatar’s designs and the arrival of the Children. Not only does he not have the right to create life in this way, he couldn’t have fully succeeded, anyway. As Ilúvatar points out, the Dwarves as Aulë had made them are simply automata and little else, incapable of independent action and free will. Those things can only come from Ilúvatar’s own hand.

Aulë humbles himself and submits to Ilúvatar’s judgement. This is something Melkor, by contrast, has never done. Aulë admits his wrongdoing, though he does offer up some reasonable counterpoint, not to excuse his action but to justify his desire. And in this one moment, the relationship between a Vala and his own maker is at last likened to that of a child to a father. Aulë makes an analogy:

Yet the making of things is in my heart from my own making by thee; and the child of little understanding that makes a play of the deeds of his father may do so without thought of mockery, but because he is the son of his father.

First, “without…mockery.” Remember that word—we will see it again in the next chapter in a more devastating context. Second, Aulë is making the point that he is imitating his own maker in his desire to make living things. He doesn’t wish to anger Ilúvatar and wasn’t trying to subvert the plans for the coming of the Children. He’s simply had a lapse of patience, and was doing what Ilúvatar himself placed in him from the first.

Grieving, Aulë even shows that he is willing to sacrifice his work, to destroy the Dwarves he has made. He raises his hammer to do so, but Ilúvatar stops him, accepting Aulë’s humility and his intentions. He spares the Dwarves. The Dwarves will not be scrapped, then, but neither will Ilúvatar allowed them to wake in the world before the Firstborn, the Elves. So he places them in slumber to await a future time—and again, Aulë does not know how long the wait will be.

Though the Dwarves are not among Ilúvatar’s designed Children, they will become his adopted kids. Moreover, Ilúvatar allows Aulë’s work to stand, taking no steps to alter the Dwarves in their imperfect state. And because they were not made in accordance to the Ilúvatar’s own design, he observes that there will be some troubles between the Dwarves and Elves later. They were not devised in harmony with one another, so strife will often exist between them.

I’ve got two things to say about Ilúvatar’s response.

One: that he doesn’t unmake the Dwarves is another example of his policy of working through change. Nowhere in the legendarium does he—as the omnipotent god who could—ever just roll things back. Never does he simply reverse damages. That’s not Ilúvatar’s M.O. We saw it with the musical discord of Melkor, then the marring of Arda directly. When the Lamps of the Valar were destroyed, even they did not try to rebuild and improve them (maybe this time with a Melkor Detector built in and Balrog Repellent sprayed all around?). No, they know that’s not how things go. Instead the Valar learned from what happened and devised something new: the Trees of Valinor!

And so this pattern will continue. Ilúvatar lets things stand, whatever they are, for good or ill, and from them new things will come that are better. Recall his words to Melkor after the third theme in the Music of the Ainur:

…no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.

Two: this whole “strife shall arise between thine and mine” thing isn’t spite on Ilúvatar’s part. It’s just matter-of-fact observation. It’s like Aulë designed a playable Dwarf race for the Arda MMO, but he did so during the beta phase and without properly accounting for the existing code. So now whenever a Dwarf meets an Elf, there just are going to be rendering problems and communication glitches that will put them at odds. It’s inescapable. And Ilúvatar isn’t offering a patch for this. Again, not his style.

Come to think of it, Aulë’s crafting of the Dwarves could also be seen as an attempt, like Melkor’s, to “alter the music,” and though there will be strife, there will also be things “more wonderful” that come of it. Like a certain familiar odd couple trading banter for friendship far in the future and even sailing together on a westward-bound ship.

“Legolas and Gimli Reach the Shores of Valinor” by Ted Nasmith

In any case, humbled by his screw-up of Project Dwarf but still fairly pleased by its outcome, Aulë finally returns to his home in Valinor and confesses to his wife what he did, and how Ilúvatar reacted. We’re never told when the rest of the Valar find out, which they totally eventually will. Sadly, Tolkien sadly denies us that exchange.

Leaving us only to imagine.Yavanna is not exactly thrilled with her husband. She sees that Aulë is glad of the final result and points out how fortunate he is to be shown Ilúvatar’s mercy. She also points out that because he kept his project from her, his Dwarves will lack the proper respect for the things she cares for. Plants and trees, especially. As with Ilúvatar, Yavanna is not being spiteful. She is just pointing out the natural result of her husband not working in harmony with her. As with the forces of nature, and the shaping of Arda, and the Lamps, and the Trees, the Valar are always their best when they cooperate with one another.

“Many a tree shall feel the bite of their iron without pity,” Yavanna says, probably wanting him to feel bad about it.

But Aulë doesn’t leave it at that, nor does he apologize. He says that when the Children of Ilúvatar do come, they, too, will have power over her works. It’s not just the Dwarves—Men and Elves will chop wood and eat plants, as well. They’ll hunt and kill animals. And of course this strikes a nerve with Yavanna, making her defensive.

Understandably, perhaps. Without permission, Aulë had designed creatures with hands, strong arms, and opposable thumbs, creatures who can make and swing axes! They can take what they want, and defend what they have. How fair is that?

But it also shows how naïve Yavanna is—indeed, how naïve all the Valar can be at times—concerning the big picture. She is forgetting that all the works of the Ainur, the whole shaping of Arda, had been for the Children of Ilúvatar, after all. That’s why they’d signed up to come down, to prepare and make the world ready for the new beings. Arda itself is the habitation that Ilúvatar supplied for their coming. And Yavanna, at least in this moment, seems to have lost sight of this. But I think it’s worth noticing that she is not demanding, just anxious. Where her husband broke the rules and only apologized after the fact, Yavanna gives her ideas more forethought. She is not possessive over what she wants for her world of plants and animals. She seeks permission up front to improve the plan. She is not prideful.

I especially like how Shawn Marchese, one of the hosts of the outstanding Prancing Pony Podcast, puts it in their episode about this very chapter.

In a larger sense, I think pride would have been to throw a Melkor-like temper tantrum…to march into Ilúvatar’s office and demand an audience. But she doesn’t. She goes to Manwë, and she says, “Look, I’m not happy about this. I love the things that I’ve subcreated and I know that sometimes the Children of Ilúvatar are going to wield dominion with bad intent.”

Yavanna asks Manwë if her husband is right. “Shall nothing that I have devised be free from the dominion of others?” she asks, pointing out that at least animals can run or fight when threatened, but plants can’t even do that. Especially the trees! Why does no one ever think of the trees?! Is no one on their side? She adds:

Long in the growing, swift shall they be in the felling, and unless they pay toll with fruit upon bough little mourned in their passing….Would that the trees might speak on behalf of all things that have roots, and punish those that wrong them!

Intrigued, Manwë shows that while he may be knowledgable, he is not all-knowing. Despite perceiving the mind of Ilúvatar better than any other, some things from the vision even he had missed. Yavanna points out to him that even during in the Music, she had imagined the trees themselves singing to the sky, and she had woven that into her own song. Wasn’t that worth something?

So Manwë excuses himself, has a sort of Ilúvatar-induced reverie to think on it, then comes back to her. He tells her, essentially, that she needn’t have worried, that Ilúvatar has already accounted for her desire, and that when the Children of Ilúvatar appear so too will “the thought of Yavanna.” Which sounds rather vague, but Manwë explains that this will manifest as “spirits from afar,” and that said spirits will inhabit both animals and plants.

For example, from Manwë’s own part in the Music combined with Yavanna’s, there will thus come creatures “with wings like the wind.” More than mere beasts, these will be spirits in bird form and they will dwell in the mountains. That’s right, the Eagles we know and love (and unfairly expect too much of) will be coming!

But Manwë goes on, saying that in the forests “shall walk the Shepherds of the Trees.” BAM! Ents! Elated by this, Yavanna returns to her husband and snarkily points out that his Dwarves had better watch themselves, for “there shall walk a power in the forests whose wrath they will arouse at their peril.” And you just know she put a tone in that. Probably made a face, too. A you’ll-be-sorry look. Don’t mess with Yavanna.

Aulë is still kind of a grump about it, though. His rejoinder—the very last sentence in the chapter, which you really just need to go and read and enjoy—sounds a bit smug, and maybe he just wants to have the last word in their quarrel. But to me, Aulë and Yavanna simply sound like old souls who’ve been together, and in love, a very long time. These two helped shape and enrich the Earth itself; plants and minerals are essential to life and the food chain. Like Manwë and Varda, they clearly have made wonderful things together, and are each increased by the other’s presence.

Even so, this little spat of theirs, this moment of distrust on Aulë’s part and anxiety on Yavanna’s, certainly will have its echoes in later days. Perhaps a more familiar example comes also from The Lord of the Rings, when Legolas’s new Ent friend invites him to bring any Elf he wants to come see Fangorn forest at some future date.

‘The friend I speak of is not an Elf,’ said Legolas; ‘I mean Gimli, Glóin’s son here.’ Gimli bowed low, and the axe slipped from his belt and clattered on the ground.

‘Hoom, hm! Ah now,’ said Treebeard, looking dark-eyed at him ‘A dwarf and an axe-bearer! Hoom! I have good will to Elves; but you ask much.’

In the next installment, we’ll finally see the much-ballyhooed Children of Ilúvatar arrive, sleepy- and starry-eyed, in “Of the Coming of the Elves and the Captivity of Melkor.”

“Spoiler” Alert: Errr….Melkor is going to become a captive somehow? Damn you, chapter titles!

Top image: “Ents and Huorns” by Gonzalo Kenny

Jeff LaSala can’t leave Middle-earth well enough alone. He also wrote a Scribe Award–nominated D&D novel, some cyberpunk stories, and some RPG books. And now works for Tor Books.

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